Marriage is a horrible deal for women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not rich. He makes 200k a year.

He cooks, cleans, reads to the children every night and prays with them every night, takes children to sports practice every day, organizes their schedules and doctors' appointments, helps them with their laundry, buys them birthday gifts etc.

We have great sex too.

Marriage is a great deal for me.

And I would love to have a husband like that but that’s very rare. Most of these 200k guys are self-absorbed, just as controlling and dominant as wealthy men, think they are entitled to focus on their hobbies after regular work hours while their wife/partner is running around with kids&maintaining the household. Marriage is 2 shifts for most women !

None of my friends are married to the self absorbed type of guy you describe. Maybe you should strive to meet better people

Most marriages in my cicle fall apart when both spouses hit 40s. I only know one happy marriage where both spouses worked, maintained a lot of house staff including driviers. They recently retired abroad getting a property there. Everyone else appear miserable and wives raise their voice at husbands publicily, complaining at the same things.

I am divorced, and after attending a party at my former neighborhood with my new BF the wives are now all interested in hanging out with me. And their 50+ husbands look fat and ugly.

Most marriages in my circle are very strong. They are more traditional styles of marriage.They appear very happy and are planning their lives after the kids are gone and very much looking forward to the next phase. We are members of local running community and everyone is pretty fit. Life is full of decisions, make better ones

Not sure what community you are in, I lived in two most expensive zip codes in NW DC, it's the same picture at both. Maybe you are from some mormon county with many SAHM famlies but DC families are the way I described

Like I said make better decisions. Expensive zip codes do not equal happiness. You are chasing the wrong goals if happiness is what you are striving for

I don’t know, these are zips where all professional people live in DC. That same couple that bring 600k at a minimum together by mid 40s. Anyone competent with a grad degree would, in this area!

Not one for humility, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who are these men, exactly? If you took everyone I know from elementary school to a graduate degree and/or have worked with, maybe 4 or 5% hit it big. Meaning million dollar salaries or WSJ stories, etc. The rest have had mediocre to good careers.

So let me guess, that 4 or 5% magically married DCUM posters who are in shape and run around in yoga pants?

Are you asking about men who make over half a million with SAHM? Hedge fund managers, real estate developers, tech sales, partners at law firms, built and sold own businesses etc. but these men are fine with SAHM wives their marriages last until men cheat , on average

The worst are these 200k guys with wives who also make 200k. This is when the woman is exhausted to the brink of insanity as they tend to be cheap and controlling with resources on home aide and the wives are that cheaper “second shift”

I’m a $230K woman and although a second income would be nice I wouldn’t marry anyone who made less than me. I have made a ton of career mistakes so I figure any competent guy should be out earning me by now.

What do you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not rich. He makes 200k a year.

He cooks, cleans, reads to the children every night and prays with them every night, takes children to sports practice every day, organizes their schedules and doctors' appointments, helps them with their laundry, buys them birthday gifts etc.

We have great sex too.

Marriage is a great deal for me.

And I would love to have a husband like that but that’s very rare. Most of these 200k guys are self-absorbed, just as controlling and dominant as wealthy men, think they are entitled to focus on their hobbies after regular work hours while their wife/partner is running around with kids&maintaining the household. Marriage is 2 shifts for most women !

None of my friends are married to the self absorbed type of guy you describe. Maybe you should strive to meet better people

Most marriages in my cicle fall apart when both spouses hit 40s. I only know one happy marriage where both spouses worked, maintained a lot of house staff including driviers. They recently retired abroad getting a property there. Everyone else appear miserable and wives raise their voice at husbands publicily, complaining at the same things.

I am divorced, and after attending a party at my former neighborhood with my new BF the wives are now all interested in hanging out with me. And their 50+ husbands look fat and ugly.

Most marriages in my circle are very strong. They are more traditional styles of marriage.They appear very happy and are planning their lives after the kids are gone and very much looking forward to the next phase. We are members of local running community and everyone is pretty fit. Life is full of decisions, make better ones

Not sure what community you are in, I lived in two most expensive zip codes in NW DC, it's the same picture at both. Maybe you are from some mormon county with many SAHM famlies but DC families are the way I described

Like I said make better decisions. Expensive zip codes do not equal happiness. You are chasing the wrong goals if happiness is what you are striving for

I don’t know, these are zips where all professional people live in DC. That same couple that bring 600k at a minimum together by mid 40s. Anyone competent with a grad degree would, in this area!

You live in a bubble

[Anonymous]

This entire thread demonstrates very clearly how viscerally nasty and unhappy women become in middle age if they are divorced, childless or in a crappy marriage.

Keep squawking and clawing all you want about how men are all terrible, all the couples you know are miserable, kids are gross and ugly and loud, the men you see at the potluck are fat and old while you and your crew of 50 year old harpies still look like you’re in college, you make blablahblah thousand a year and don’t need no man holding you down!! (You go girl!)

None of us are fooled. We see you. We know you in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who are these men, exactly? If you took everyone I know from elementary school to a graduate degree and/or have worked with, maybe 4 or 5% hit it big. Meaning million dollar salaries or WSJ stories, etc. The rest have had mediocre to good careers.

So let me guess, that 4 or 5% magically married DCUM posters who are in shape and run around in yoga pants?

Are you asking about men who make over half a million with SAHM? Hedge fund managers, real estate developers, tech sales, partners at law firms, built and sold own businesses etc. but these men are fine with SAHM wives their marriages last until men cheat , on average

The worst are these 200k guys with wives who also make 200k. This is when the woman is exhausted to the brink of insanity as they tend to be cheap and controlling with resources on home aide and the wives are that cheaper “second shift”

I’m a $230K woman and although a second income would be nice I wouldn’t marry anyone who made less than me. I have made a ton of career mistakes so I figure any competent guy should be out earning me by now.

Exhibit A

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not rich. He makes 200k a year.

He cooks, cleans, reads to the children every night and prays with them every night, takes children to sports practice every day, organizes their schedules and doctors' appointments, helps them with their laundry, buys them birthday gifts etc.

We have great sex too.

Marriage is a great deal for me.

And I would love to have a husband like that but that’s very rare. Most of these 200k guys are self-absorbed, just as controlling and dominant as wealthy men, think they are entitled to focus on their hobbies after regular work hours while their wife/partner is running around with kids&maintaining the household. Marriage is 2 shifts for most women !

None of my friends are married to the self absorbed type of guy you describe. Maybe you should strive to meet better people

Most marriages in my cicle fall apart when both spouses hit 40s. I only know one happy marriage where both spouses worked, maintained a lot of house staff including driviers. They recently retired abroad getting a property there. Everyone else appear miserable and wives raise their voice at husbands publicily, complaining at the same things.

I am divorced, and after attending a party at my former neighborhood with my new BF the wives are now all interested in hanging out with me. And their 50+ husbands look fat and ugly.

Most marriages in my circle are very strong. They are more traditional styles of marriage.They appear very happy and are planning their lives after the kids are gone and very much looking forward to the next phase. We are members of local running community and everyone is pretty fit. Life is full of decisions, make better ones

Not sure what community you are in, I lived in two most expensive zip codes in NW DC, it's the same picture at both. Maybe you are from some mormon county with many SAHM famlies but DC families are the way I described

Like I said make better decisions. Expensive zip codes do not equal happiness. You are chasing the wrong goals if happiness is what you are striving for

I don’t know, these are zips where all professional people live in DC. That same couple that bring 600k at a minimum together by mid 40s. Anyone competent with a grad degree would, in this area!

You live in a bubble

People tend to form social ties with the likes. It’s not like an urban woman would happily marry a farmer in a traditional marriage. Or a school teacher to take her out in McDonalds. Men are very much the same !

[Anonymous]

Funny thing I think a lot of men feel the same way. Apparently, many men don't have the same house cleaning standards as women and probably don't appreciate or care about the "emotional labor" women put in. Sex can be obtained without marriage. Modern appliances, food delivery/preparation services and a cleaning lady makes housekeeping much less onerous anyway.

So we see a general decline in marriage.

No doubt child rearing is harder for women because they get pregnant and sometimes breastfeed which leads to them being primary caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny thing I think a lot of men feel the same way. Apparently, many men don't have the same house cleaning standards as women and probably don't appreciate or care about the "emotional labor" women put in. Sex can be obtained without marriage. Modern appliances, food delivery/preparation services and a cleaning lady makes housekeeping much less onerous anyway.

So we see a general decline in marriage.

No doubt child rearing is harder for women because they get pregnant and sometimes breastfeed which leads to them being primary caregiver.

The fact is you see child rearing as pregnancy and breast feeding only speaks for itself. Kids have social and developmental needs after school as well. Narcotics are real, video gaming is real if kids are not engaged in other activities after school or not supervised.

Soon men and women will have surrogate kids on their own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who are these men, exactly? If you took everyone I know from elementary school to a graduate degree and/or have worked with, maybe 4 or 5% hit it big. Meaning million dollar salaries or WSJ stories, etc. The rest have had mediocre to good careers.

So let me guess, that 4 or 5% magically married DCUM posters who are in shape and run around in yoga pants?

Are you asking about men who make over half a million with SAHM? Hedge fund managers, real estate developers, tech sales, partners at law firms, built and sold own businesses etc. but these men are fine with SAHM wives their marriages last until men cheat , on average

The worst are these 200k guys with wives who also make 200k. This is when the woman is exhausted to the brink of insanity as they tend to be cheap and controlling with resources on home aide and the wives are that cheaper “second shift”

I’m a $230K woman and although a second income would be nice I wouldn’t marry anyone who made less than me. I have made a ton of career mistakes so I figure any competent guy should be out earning me by now.

Exhibit A

Sorry this bothers you. But I’m highly educated, worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this income. And most of my female friends make more. So I figure any intelligent hard working guy from similar background could have done the same. If he didn’t something is wrong and we are not compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless the husband is rich.

Women do most of the unpaid and unnoticed domestic labor in the home. They use their body to create babies and then do most of the childcare.

If the husband isn’t rich, what does he bring to the table?

My dh:
- is loving and nurturing. He's 100% involved with me and the kids
- is sexy and strong. He lays the pipe and can easily do household repairs
- is helpful around the house. We have a division of labor which works for us both
- is reliable. He can be counted on completely
- is dedicated to his family above all else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless the husband is rich.

Women do most of the unpaid and unnoticed domestic labor in the home. They use their body to create babies and then do most of the childcare.

If the husband isn’t rich, what does he bring to the table?

Since you figured this out, hope you are single or divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless the husband is rich.

Women do most of the unpaid and unnoticed domestic labor in the home. They use their body to create babies and then do most of the childcare.

If the husband isn’t rich, what does he bring to the table?

My dh:
- is loving and nurturing. He's 100% involved with me and the kids
- is sexy and strong. He lays the pipe and can easily do household repairs
- is helpful around the house. We have a division of labor which works for us both
- is reliable. He can be counted on completely
- is dedicated to his family above all else

Same here

There are so many good men in this world, despite what dcum would have us think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A better title for this post would be “bad marriage is a bad deal.” Good marriage is a good deal!

Bingo. This entire post is a woman who went car shopping and bought a used piece of sh$t that’s been in 3 accidents and no one else wanted, then was surprised and pissed off when it broke down in a few months. That doesn’t mean walking everywhere is better.

+1. I’ve been in a bad marriage and a good one. The bad marriage made me wonder why anyone would marry. I’m in the good one now, and I can’t imagine life without him. DH is wonderful. Kind, smart, sexy, good salary, great step-dad, fun. I could go on and on. For all the women who are now single, don't you miss companionship with a romantic partner? I also find life much easier with a great spouse. Being a single mom was vastly more difficult, and it wasn’t money. It was doing it all alone.

+2

Was in a terrible marriage, was a single mom, and now am in a wonderful marriage.

Wonderful marriage<single mom<terrible marriage

A terrible marriage drains you of your will to live, and all joy. Logistically, being a single parent is really, really difficult. Being in a happy marriage is the greatest gift of my life.

[Anonymous]

If there is love in a marriage, then it can be great for both. If no love, it is a raw deal for both sides. Marriage is good for children, for family stability, and ultimately for society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And who are these men, exactly? If you took everyone I know from elementary school to a graduate degree and/or have worked with, maybe 4 or 5% hit it big. Meaning million dollar salaries or WSJ stories, etc. The rest have had mediocre to good careers.

So let me guess, that 4 or 5% magically married DCUM posters who are in shape and run around in yoga pants?

Are you asking about men who make over half a million with SAHM? Hedge fund managers, real estate developers, tech sales, partners at law firms, built and sold own businesses etc. but these men are fine with SAHM wives their marriages last until men cheat , on average

The worst are these 200k guys with wives who also make 200k. This is when the woman is exhausted to the brink of insanity as they tend to be cheap and controlling with resources on home aide and the wives are that cheaper “second shift”

I’m a $230K woman and although a second income would be nice I wouldn’t marry anyone who made less than me. I have made a ton of career mistakes so I figure any competent guy should be out earning me by now.

Exhibit A

Sorry this bothers you. But I’m highly educated, worked hard and sacrificed a lot to get to this income. And most of my female friends make more. So I figure any intelligent hard working guy from similar background could have done the same. If he didn’t something is wrong and we are not compatible.

That is like the top 1% of US salaries. What on earth do these people do? Everybody can't be a lawyer or hedge fund manager.