If anyone gives my kids toys for Christmas, I might scream.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you just have to let life be fun and getting toys at Christmas (or a birthday) is fun. Trying to micromanage every little thing in life and every person in your life really gets old.

So your kid lays with something that you didn't personally buy them and approve. It isn't the end of the world. You dont' need to control every moment of your child's life or that of those who interact with them. Kids are their own people. They are distinct humans who will have relationships with other people beyond their parents. Trying to micromanage every interaction and every decision everyone makes that relates to your kids is so stifling. Let your kids enjoy the relationship with their grandparents. Let them give them a toy on Christmas or buy them an ice cream on a hot summer day. Life doesn't need to be so over controlled to the point that a grandparent giving a child Legos for Christmas throws you into a meltdown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.” I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them.

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place.

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.

[Anonymous]

A Wider Circle takes gently used toys.


Other option, put all toys into this big plastic storage bins. Have only 1 (or maybe 2) out at a time. Rotate every couple weeks.

[Anonymous]

Eh, let them have toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its because you can have a pile of presents for not much money. Toys are cheap.

Where are the stores selling cheap toys? Even if they don't cost a fortune, gifts are given from the heart and you don't get to dictate who gives what

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.” I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them.

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place.

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.

That is her perogative because it must be so heartbreaking that you are her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.” I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them.

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place.

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.[/quote

Wow. You really don't like your mom.

[Anonymous]

My mom grew up poor and had very few toys. She got a fake Barbie doll as a Christmas gift because her parents couldn't afford the real thing. When I was a child, money was tight and we were far from spoiled. But now that my mom is financially comfortable, she wants to spoil her grandkids with toys. So what. It makes her happy, and that is more important than me having a few extra things to clean out of the playroom. I donate, give to friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.” I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them.

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place.

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.

Uh, no. OP and you make it all about THEM. The grandparents are your kids are fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.” I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them.

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place.

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.

That is her perogative because it must be so heartbreaking that you are her daughter.

+1

[Anonymous]

If your children have lots of snap circuits, getting 1 more package of snap circuits to toss in the circuits basket won't hurt, so perhaps you focus on adding to some of your current items?

AND ALSO - just collect and offer on Buy Nothing, to your friends whose kids are a bit younger, put them out on the curb with a big "free!" sign. and call the after school programs and see if they want them donated - they would LOVE more magnet tiles, snap circuits, blah blah. Truly, if they are open ended they could use them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 7.5 and for 7.5 years, we have asked for no toys for Christmas. Experiences, large items (basketball hoop), etc. Nope. Grandparents insist on toys…a LOT of them, because it’s “fun”.

We can’t return them once they’re open…I considered that. We get rid of stuff, but it is quality toys: nano bots, legos, coding critters…and my kids play with the items occasionally.

But we are drowning in toys. I have three boys now and we don’t need anything else. The 7.5 is close to aging out of “toys” and he already has legos galore, plus snap circuits etc.

I went a climbing dome, soccer goals, balls…

Has anyone managed to “break” grandparents of this toy obsession?!?

Grandparents have the right to gift whatever they want. I understand that you don't want to be drowning in toys, and there's no need to be! There are *so many* people who would appreciate donations of toys. Our school does a yard sale as a fundraiser and I've given away all our toys there, and it's great. Buy Nothing is another way to give away toys. I live in the city, and people put toys out on the curb and they're usually gone by the end of the day. This isn't hard, OP.

+1. And look, I get it. My mom always wants to buy my kids clothes. We have tons of clothes. I feel like I always have to prepare 7yo DS when he opens her gifts so he doesn't say something ungrateful. And she keeps buying DD pink, even though I've told her multiple times that DD hates pink, because "that's what Carter's has for girls!"

You gotta accept it and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A Wider Circle takes gently used toys.


Other option, put all toys into this big plastic storage bins. Have only 1 (or maybe 2) out at a time. Rotate every couple weeks.

+1 We donate toys to A Wider Circle every year. Our kids gather gently used toys that they no longer play with and we always donate them
a few weeks before Christmas to make room for any new toys that they receive for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

I totally get this. My kids are just awash with hundreds of wonderful toys. But it's too much!! What they'd love would be more weekend activities, like passes to Great Country farms, soccer, the science museum, their favorite restaurant (dd has one that she begs us nonstop to go to). And another crazy thing is all the duplicates we get. I try to grab the toy before they rip it open so that I can donate it or regift it when it's in unused condition. The only thing I need less than toys is duplicates of the same toy we already own.

I just try to let it all go. I get that family doesn't want to take my kids places or do activities and toys are just an easy filler. Each set of parents spends about $500 each on my kids, so there's just mountains of toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this. My kids are just awash with hundreds of wonderful toys. But it's too much!! What they'd love would be more weekend activities, like passes to Great Country farms, soccer, the science museum, their favorite restaurant (dd has one that she begs us nonstop to go to). And another crazy thing is all the duplicates we get. I try to grab the toy before they rip it open so that I can donate it or regift it when it's in unused condition. The only thing I need less than toys is duplicates of the same toy we already own.

I just try to let it all go. I get that family doesn't want to take my kids places or do activities and toys are just an easy filler. Each set of parents spends about $500 each on my kids, so there's just mountains of toys.

wow, that is an insane amount.