Reply to If anyone gives my kids toys for Christmas, I might scream.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, You sound like my SIL. She screeches at all the family members not to buy toys, and then gets her kids a massive load of toys from “Santa.”  I’m guessing you don’t mind your kids having toys, you just want to be the one who experiences the joy of giving them. [/quote]

Not OP, but that's not my issue. Unlike OP, my parents (really my mom) buy my kids lots of cheap-o toys. The PP who said grandma with the TJ Maxx haul nailed it. We don't have space for it, and my kids don't play with them. If she were buying Lego sets or Magnatiles or sports equipment or any of the other suggestions on this thread, that would be great! But she resists all attempts at wish lists, gift suggestions, etc. She likes them to open a lot of gifts without a lot of rhyme or reason on whether the gifts are appropriate (one example: a 1000-piece puzzle that is basically all one color that she gave them last year). Yes, I donate and give away on Buy Nothing, but it does take time and effort, and it would be so much better not to receive it in the first place. [/quote]

This is the type of thing where the gift giver is making it about *them*, which is rude. Giving a gift should be about the recipient and whether it’s something they would enjoy and could use. Sure a gracious recipient will say thank you with a smile. But let’s not pretend that disrespecting boundaries and buying age-inappropriate/junky stuff so the gift giver can pat themselves on the back isn’t selfish. And so many grandparents (mine included) specifically say they want to gift lots of (or really big) items so they can see the kids’ eyes light up or whatever. Let’s be real … they are doing it for their own benefit in some backwards attempt to be fawned over by the kids. They want to be adored and told how amazing they are for buying it. And I’ve seen it backfire where a kid doesn’t act appropriately excited about the gift and the grandparent gets upset. I think if a relative is told that your child isn’t into XYZ, or that something is age-inappropriate, or that your house is too small to store it, or even that something is not in line with your family’s values (such as some families not wanting their kids to have toy weapons) and the family member continues to gift the child that type of gift, it is manipulative and disrespectful to the parents.[/quote]

This is exactly it. My mom gives the gifts for the praise and attention.[/quote]

That is her perogative because it must be so heartbreaking that you are her daughter.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

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