Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.


As with all things, it is subjective. In our public schools, kids in 6th/7th grade qualify for AIME, HS students qualify for MOP, every year plenty of kids go to Ivy. We have a strong Asian population so honestly I think the academic rigor doesn't necessarily come from the school, but with the parent involvement + resources. Kids are allowed to subject accelerate, so my kid does great in Math and was bussed to HS when he was in 8th grade along with a handful of other students who needed more rigor in Math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My experience in NOVA is that three types go to private: 1) the people who want prestige. They’re shooting for the very best privates; 2) the people whose kids “need more attention.” They’re oftentimes at mediocre and parochial schools; 3) the people who want their kid on a HS sports team. Their kid can’t get on the local HS team, but the private coach will make room for them. Typically, these are mediocre and parochial schools.

This is also my experience. In our close friends' case it is because of competitive sports.

Odd. Never heard of people choosing private so their kids could get on a sports team. Many privates actually recruit athletes so their teams are harder to make than publics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live next to Langley HS and my kids should go to Langley HS but they are NOT.  They are attending Potomac School, not far from Langley HS.  I am sure Langley HS is one of the top public schools in Virginia but it is not Potomac.  My kids just happen to like Potomac better than Langley HS.

Maybe your kid is SN

[Anonymous]

OP, perhaps those families think that the ~40k per kid per year could be better spent on other things for their children? $40k invested annually at a rate of 5% for 12 years would result in over $600k per kid. That money can be used to help them with standing up a business, buying a house, going to medical school...

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest. I look down upon them for having their priorities wrong, in most cases, dependant upon the area in which they live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest. I look down upon them for having their priorities wrong, in most cases, dependant upon the area in which they live.

For all the judgey-McJudgeys: can you please make a list of the clothes you wear and the food you eat so we can similarly demonstrate where YOUR priorities are wrong?

In the words of Will Smith (yes that Will Smith) from Fresh Prince of Bel Air: MIND YA BUSINESS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. I came from nothing, attended public schools, and did just fine. If one of my kids struggles, I will pull them out of public school immediately. Until then, my kids will be attending our local schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

The statistics objectively show that the Blair magnet and many other MCPS schools are as or more rigorous than private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest. I look down upon them for having their priorities wrong, in most cases, dependant upon the area in which they live.

For all the judgey-McJudgeys: can you please make a list of the clothes you wear and the food you eat so we can similarly demonstrate where YOUR priorities are wrong?

In the words of Will Smith (yes that Will Smith) from Fresh Prince of Bel Air: MIND YA BUSINESS.

I couldn’t spend $40k/year on clothes if I tried!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge

Maybe if you're kind of basic then going to a top private school is "life changing." I'm one of those top 20% kids who went to a top private school (actually I was the top 1% of my class) and I also attended two public schools, one in the US and one in Europe. I found that wherever I went, kids were stupid compared to me. Therefore it did not matter which school I was at. Certainly the top private was not even moderately life altering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Whatever you tell yourself.