Cruel Break-Up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:girl you dodged a bullet. and you’re 29!

This! This breakup is a blessing. Thank God you did not marry him. You are only 29! Forget him. Don’t look back!

Overall, yes. I’m sorry it happened in such a disgusting and cruel way on her birthday. I’m sorry she’s hurting. I’m sorry that it would seem the first couple months of this are going to be struggle city for her. There will be a lot of playing the blame game on herself. I bet OP is thinking she did this to herself, she deserved it, that he would never do this to another girl…I’m gonna stop you right there OP because the issue isn’t you. It’s not your personality and it’s not potato chips. The biggest issue is that he would ever even conceive of talking to someone this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I broke up with a woman moons ago and to this day, she has no idea why. But it was her mother. There was no way I could be married to this woman and have the mother in my life for the next 40 years. There was no way I could explain it to the girlfriend, so I just made up other excuses.

I am not saying this is at all parallel, but sometimes things happen and there is no easy way out.

You are a d_ck.

He's worse than a d!ck.

He's a total coward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like Soldier Boy and Crimson Countess, in reverse.

Omg, thank you for this reference, it made me crack up! 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having to justify not picking things up? Sounds more than a little controlling. Wonder what attracted you to this guy n the first place. Sounds like an over- bearing person, instead of a true partner.

Nah... that's not controlling behavior, that's OCD w/Type A & anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Oh the naievity of OP. I just can't.

[Anonymous]

I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

These were actual relationships. I've also gone on dates/dated many more but I guess I weeded out the BoY MoM products, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

This is dumb. So he’s allowed to accuse her of leaving a mess and she’s just supposed to say “Sorry!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

This is dumb. So he’s allowed to accuse her of leaving a mess and she’s just supposed to say “Sorry!”

Look,she can say whatever she wants but if she wishes to stop being rejected by men then she could learn how to apologize. Does she not sound totally insufferable to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

This is dumb. So he’s allowed to accuse her of leaving a mess and she’s just supposed to say “Sorry!”

Look,she can say whatever she wants but if she wishes to stop being rejected by men then she could learn how to apologize. Does she not sound totally insufferable to you?

Lol no? She sounds like she has low self-esteem but otherwise I have no issues with OP. She got dealt a shitty hand. My biggest wish for her is that she learns to trust herself. I guarantee there was something that happened within the first year of dating him that was a massive red flag but she either didn’t know it was a red flag due to inexperience at dating or she did but she loved him, thought she could help him/change him, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

This is dumb. So he’s allowed to accuse her of leaving a mess and she’s just supposed to say “Sorry!”

Look,she can say whatever she wants but if she wishes to stop being rejected by men then she could learn how to apologize. Does she not sound totally insufferable to you?

Lol no? She sounds like she has low self-esteem but otherwise I have no issues with OP. She got dealt a shitty hand. My biggest wish for her is that she learns to trust herself. I guarantee there was something that happened within the first year of dating him that was a massive red flag but she either didn’t know it was a red flag due to inexperience at dating or she did but she loved him, thought she could help him/change him, etc.

Np. This is right. The PP above is just blaming OP because...DCUM.

OP, you did fine. He's an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is your fault, OP. you should never explain while apologizing. You sound very controlling. Men don't like that. Clean that up or you'll end up in your 40s still single wondering why men are "mean" to you.

This is dumb. So he’s allowed to accuse her of leaving a mess and she’s just supposed to say “Sorry!”

Look,she can say whatever she wants but if she wishes to stop being rejected by men then she could learn how to apologize. Does she not sound totally insufferable to you?

Lol no? She sounds like she has low self-esteem but otherwise I have no issues with OP. She got dealt a shitty hand. My biggest wish for her is that she learns to trust herself. I guarantee there was something that happened within the first year of dating him that was a massive red flag but she either didn’t know it was a red flag due to inexperience at dating or she did but she loved him, thought she could help him/change him, etc.

This, if you read her first post she says they had issues during covid and she had her doubts about him and the relationship. That I think is normal, especially during an unprecedented global pandemic. But now I am wondering what kind of issues they were. Some could be normal things to have doubts about, others could be like, actual red flags that she ignored.

The biggest mistake we make in parenting girls and talking to them about relationships is we say “dating and marriage is work!” It’s work, but it’s joyful work. If a boyfriend is making you cry, or says nasty things to you when you fight, or freaks out that you accidentally spilled something…that is too much work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

Is this a thing lol. Boy Moms raising their brood of boys to think they can never do any wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women when they break up say nice things. Men when they break up burn the bridges. He did you a favor by leaving. I’m sorry but he sounds awful.

I've only had one (of six) boyfriends break up with me, and he did it kindly, in a restaurant, said he was sorry, that he would give me space and that he'd be there as a friend if I was ever up for it. Then he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.

That's what you should EXPECT, OP. Your ex is cruel and you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, don't own HIS issues.

This is a numbers game. 6 is nothing, you're virginal. I've dated 100s of men. Yes, a statistically significant portion of them burn bridges when breaking up. Men were raised to win arguments, that's where this comes from. That and some idiotic dolt BoY MoM telling him how wonderful and special he is all the time.

Is this a thing lol. Boy Moms raising their brood of boys to think they can never do any wrong?

Yes. Speaking as a boy-girl mom, the all boy moms tend to brush off their boys' behavior as "Oh, that's just Bobby!" The boy moms are bigger perpetrators of "boys will be boys" mentality than boy dads. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet OP's ex is from an all-boy family and that his "temperamental" behavior as OP describes it (I'm sure that since the breakup is fresh, she still loves him and is being charitable with that description, btw) was brushed off. "Oh, Bobby's sulking because someone didn't do exactly what he wants? That's just Bobby!"