Prom Decliners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to chime in and say I really love the idea that "kids these days" go to prom in groups. I did not like feeling as if I needed a date, back in the day. It changes things for the better.

I have to admit, I would be disappointed if my kids did not want to attend prom, especially given that they don't really need a date, but can go in a group.

If you enjoy dressing up and dancing, why not?

Yeah, but then it's another dynamic. Who is asking who to be in their "group" and present for the all important "Group pics." So everyone knows who was included and who was not. I'm already anticipating this next year with one of my child's frenemies, who is a little a$$hole. And I saw it with my friends' kids last year for prom, and in the fall for homecoming.

These events are outdated and stupid. And do nothing but shine more light on the "haves" and "have nots" in HS. And I say this as someone who went to both of mine, with dates, but who thought it was kind of dumb at the time. And I have not a single, memorable moment from either. It's a dumb tradition.And it causes a LOT of angst for a lot of kids, boys and girls alike.

[Anonymous]

HS teacher with over 20 years experience here. Groups of kids have been not going to prom for forever. Other groups of kids buy tickets, get dressed up, take photos and stop by prom for a few min only. This has happened every year. Parents were more upset that it was cancelled during Covid, not the kids. Many still got dressed up and went to take photos around DC. That’s more what it’s about than the actual dance.

[Anonymous]

Face it: dances are a really lame form of socializing for teens these days. We need something better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

It's so over the top. Why does everything have to be over the top these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to chime in and say I really love the idea that "kids these days" go to prom in groups. I did not like feeling as if I needed a date, back in the day. It changes things for the better.

I have to admit, I would be disappointed if my kids did not want to attend prom, especially given that they don't really need a date, but can go in a group.

If you enjoy dressing up and dancing, why not?

Yeah, but then it's another dynamic. Who is asking who to be in their "group" and present for the all important "Group pics." So everyone knows who was included and who was not. I'm already anticipating this next year with one of my child's frenemies, who is a little a$$hole. And I saw it with my friends' kids last year for prom, and in the fall for homecoming.

These events are outdated and stupid. And do nothing but shine more light on the "haves" and "have nots" in HS. And I say this as someone who went to both of mine, with dates, but who thought it was kind of dumb at the time. And I have not a single, memorable moment from either. It's a dumb tradition.And it causes a LOT of angst for a lot of kids, boys and girls alike.

PP here. No, I get it. My mom actually made me go to everything, when I was that age, to my dismay. Ideally, everyone would be inclusive, but that is not reality. We created our own groups, who literally blended with everyone, and it worked.

I see a lot of moms (sorry, usually SAHMs who claim they work out of the home, and they might, but minimally - in between brow type appointments ad nauseam, of course) micromanaging who is in whose group, and it is repulsive. So many moms trying to live vicariously through their DCs. My DCs seem to break free from the oppressive groups, and create their own. Honestly, as a parent, I consider that a huge win.

I am not going to tell my teens whom to hang out with, or be seen with, that would be just pathetic. The moms do the same to each other, not surprisingly. It is as gross as it sounds. Some moms never grow up - too bad for their kids, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Face it: dances are a really lame form of socializing for teens these days. We need something better.

True - I was into going to the dances in HS, but now that I think about it, it's a strange and kind of sexist tradition. (I know kids can go in groups, and girls can invite boys, etc.). It also does emphasize who has money and who is popular.

[Anonymous]

I hope my kids don’t go to prom so we can save the money! What a waste!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Face it: dances are a really lame form of socializing for teens these days. We need something better.

This. No one has fun once they get there. DD was texting me 30 minutes into homecoming that everyone wanted to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

It's so over the top. Why does everything have to be over the top these days?

They don't do this anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

It's so over the top. Why does everything have to be over the top these days?

They don't do this anymore.

Unfortunately they do. There were lots of promposals and then drama to follow in high schools this year. I heard some saying they were not going to prom after the homecoming issues. -teacher

[Anonymous]

My kids go to public hs in mcps. There are still promposals, dates, party busses/limos, fancy dinners, tux rentals and gowns purchased. What was a pleasant surprise to me is that there are also plenty of kids who opt out of prom, and those like my older who went with a few friends (no dates) and wore a suit he already owned, got dinner before at a casual restaurant, and drove themselves to prom (total cost was the $75 ticket plus casual dinner). He still had a fun time doing it his low key way.

[Anonymous]

When I www in HS nobody went to prom without a date, but now the majority of kids(at least in my kid’s HS) went with friends. I was glad, because that enabled my DS to go without any stress or pressure.

[Anonymous]

^when i *was* in HS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Wrong. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:whew, it's almost as if all the endless hand wringing and complaining about all the things kids were "robbed" of etc due to Covid were really mostly important to the parents anyway.

+1,000,000