Fed up with isolation and newborn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But in past years (pre-covid) did newborn/young baby parents really not visit other moms? Not go out to eat? Avoid all shopping and only receive deliveries? All to avoid RSV and flu?

Yes,, pre-pandemic, I did not visit any other moms for the first 2-3 months. I did grocery shopping without baby, and ordered everything else off Amazon. With my second baby, born last winter, it was the same.

The hospital and giving birth experience was not the same. My inlaws lived near us for our first, but not our second and no one was flying in to be there. That was more isolation.

But, the pre-pandemic winter newborn months were the same. I remember as a college student, one of my aunts angry that her daughter (my older cousin) was taking her new baby out to see people. So I don't think this is new or uncommon.

Wow! This sounds so isolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But in past years (pre-covid) did newborn/young baby parents really not visit other moms? Not go out to eat? Avoid all shopping and only receive deliveries? All to avoid RSV and flu?

I pissed off my SIL because I wouldn't take my 4 week old to Easter dinner. Then her germy daycare kid came down with an ear infection. That kid had a permanent runny nose and cough for two years after she started daycare.

I don't really care what other people do, but having my neonate admitted to the NICU with a virus is an experience I'd rather skip. If a mom feels like she needs the socialization to feel human I'm not going to s**t on her. I do raise an eyebrow at people who have time off but send their kids to daycare, I don't get that, but it is not my problem to deal with.

Oh man, I don't normally do the "just you wait!" thing, but ... wait until you have a toddler, and you'll understand.

Also, "germy daycare kids" judgment is really just you showing your true colors about people who can't afford to stay at home with their kids or hire a full-time nanny.

I wouldn't be mad if someone didn't want to bring their newborn around my toddler with a cold, but that's where my agreement with this snobby nonsense ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up, OP. I was pregnant at the beginning of Covid prevaccine with a high risk pregnancy and an older kid with asthma and have had to be careful the entire pandemic. I haven’t eaten in a restaurant for 2 years, or been on a plane, or socialized indoors with anyone save a handful of vaxxed family and friends. You need to protect your baby and get creative with outdoor events (baby wear for a hike or outdoor coffee) and virtual activities. Some of us have been doing this stuff for a lot longer, you don’t just throw in the towel. You do what you need to to protect your kids cause it’s not about you anymore.

Not a very nice way to put it but kinda with you on this, PP. OP I was halfway through my first pregnancy when COVID hit and we spent the next 13 months not seeing or doing a single thing indoors until vaccinated to protect me (while pregnant) and our infant son. Once vaccinated we did start to go grocery shopping/errand running indoors again and socialize with vaccinated friends indoors but we have not eaten inside a restaurant since 2020. I’m pregnant again (a decision made before delta and omicron emerged) and it’s back to much more isolated living (still seeing people outside and running masked errands, just without our unmasked, unvaxxed toddler).

It’s ok to mourn what you thought you’d have (though you knowingly got pregnant in a global pandemic), but you can’t throw in the towel until your baby is a bit older and immune system built up. It sucks, it’s so isolating, it’s so hard but you can do it. You will likely have to make tons more sacrifices throughout parenthood too.

Take walks with friends outside, meet up for coffee (outside) and keep baby in the stroller/baby carrier. You’ll get through this and look back and wonder how you were so resilient. Parenthood takes a village and this is a uniquely challenging time to not really have access to that, so I’m sorry. I’ve been there and know how hard it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But in past years (pre-covid) did newborn/young baby parents really not visit other moms? Not go out to eat? Avoid all shopping and only receive deliveries? All to avoid RSV and flu?

I pissed off my SIL because I wouldn't take my 4 week old to Easter dinner. Then her germy daycare kid came down with an ear infection. That kid had a permanent runny nose and cough for two years after she started daycare.

I don't really care what other people do, but having my neonate admitted to the NICU with a virus is an experience I'd rather skip. If a mom feels like she needs the socialization to feel human I'm not going to s**t on her. I do raise an eyebrow at people who have time off but send their kids to daycare, I don't get that, but it is not my problem to deal with.

You don't get socialization for kids, alone time for a parent?

A newborn doesn’t need socialization

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up, OP. I was pregnant at the beginning of Covid prevaccine with a high risk pregnancy and an older kid with asthma and have had to be careful the entire pandemic. I haven’t eaten in a restaurant for 2 years, or been on a plane, or socialized indoors with anyone save a handful of vaxxed family and friends. You need to protect your baby and get creative with outdoor events (baby wear for a hike or outdoor coffee) and virtual activities. Some of us have been doing this stuff for a lot longer, you don’t just throw in the towel. You do what you need to to protect your kids cause it’s not about you anymore.

Not a very nice way to put it but kinda with you on this, PP. OP I was halfway through my first pregnancy when COVID hit and we spent the next 13 months not seeing or doing a single thing indoors until vaccinated to protect me (while pregnant) and our infant son. Once vaccinated we did start to go grocery shopping/errand running indoors again and socialize with vaccinated friends indoors but we have not eaten inside a restaurant since 2020. I’m pregnant again (a decision made before delta and omicron emerged) and it’s back to much more isolated living (still seeing people outside and running masked errands, just without our unmasked, unvaxxed toddler).

It’s ok to mourn what you thought you’d have (though you knowingly got pregnant in a global pandemic), but you can’t throw in the towel until your baby is a bit older and immune system built up. It sucks, it’s so isolating, it’s so hard but you can do it. You will likely have to make tons more sacrifices throughout parenthood too.

Take walks with friends outside, meet up for coffee (outside) and keep baby in the stroller/baby carrier. You’ll get through this and look back and wonder how you were so resilient. Parenthood takes a village and this is a uniquely challenging time to not really have access to that, so I’m sorry. I’ve been there and know how hard it is.

There’s a middle ground here, and your post does not reflect that. It’s totally fine if that’s your comfort level, but to hold this up as an example of parental sacrifice that must be done is over the top. If OP wants to go to the mall at 10 AM on a Tuesday and walk around at a safe distance, that seems like a pretty reasonable middle ground.

OP I recommend signing up for those zoom mom groups because I think that would be a real source of support. Much better than this place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But in past years (pre-covid) did newborn/young baby parents really not visit other moms? Not go out to eat? Avoid all shopping and only receive deliveries? All to avoid RSV and flu?

Yes,, pre-pandemic, I did not visit any other moms for the first 2-3 months. I did grocery shopping without baby, and ordered everything else off Amazon. With my second baby, born last winter, it was the same.

The hospital and giving birth experience was not the same. My inlaws lived near us for our first, but not our second and no one was flying in to be there. That was more isolation.

But, the pre-pandemic winter newborn months were the same. I remember as a college student, one of my aunts angry that her daughter (my older cousin) was taking her new baby out to see people. So I don't think this is new or uncommon.

Wow! This sounds so isolating.

Yeah, I guess I could have been out there meeting with super nice moms like yourself. That sounds really fulfilling.

Fwiw, I was answering as to my experience. I agree with the posters saying larger groups have always been the problem.

[Anonymous]

OP hope you went out for a walk today and the past few days while the weather is mild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up, OP. I was pregnant at the beginning of Covid prevaccine with a high risk pregnancy and an older kid with asthma and have had to be careful the entire pandemic. I haven’t eaten in a restaurant for 2 years, or been on a plane, or socialized indoors with anyone save a handful of vaxxed family and friends. You need to protect your baby and get creative with outdoor events (baby wear for a hike or outdoor coffee) and virtual activities. Some of us have been doing this stuff for a lot longer, you don’t just throw in the towel. You do what you need to to protect your kids cause it’s not about you anymore.

Not a very nice way to put it but kinda with you on this, PP. OP I was halfway through my first pregnancy when COVID hit and we spent the next 13 months not seeing or doing a single thing indoors until vaccinated to protect me (while pregnant) and our infant son. Once vaccinated we did start to go grocery shopping/errand running indoors again and socialize with vaccinated friends indoors but we have not eaten inside a restaurant since 2020. I’m pregnant again (a decision made before delta and omicron emerged) and it’s back to much more isolated living (still seeing people outside and running masked errands, just without our unmasked, unvaxxed toddler).

It’s ok to mourn what you thought you’d have (though you knowingly got pregnant in a global pandemic), but you can’t throw in the towel until your baby is a bit older and immune system built up. It sucks, it’s so isolating, it’s so hard but you can do it. You will likely have to make tons more sacrifices throughout parenthood too.

Take walks with friends outside, meet up for coffee (outside) and keep baby in the stroller/baby carrier. You’ll get through this and look back and wonder how you were so resilient. Parenthood takes a village and this is a uniquely challenging time to not really have access to that, so I’m sorry. I’ve been there and know how hard it is.

There’s a middle ground here, and your post does not reflect that. It’s totally fine if that’s your comfort level, but to hold this up as an example of parental sacrifice that must be done is over the top. If OP wants to go to the mall at 10 AM on a Tuesday and walk around at a safe distance, that seems like a pretty reasonable middle ground.

OP I recommend signing up for those zoom mom groups because I think that would be a real source of support. Much better than this place.

Sure wasn’t suggesting OP needs to be as strict as we were with a newborn in pre-vaccinated pandemic. Just highlighting I know how f’ing hard and isolating it is. That said I would absolutely not throw in the towel to take a newborn into a restaurant right now or even to see friends indoors quite frankly with the number of people I know who have gotten breakthrough cases of Covid (until omicron calms down). OP was suggesting they might and I offered some “safer” alternatives (walks, coffees outside, etc.) until baby is a bit older or Covid stops surging.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe all of the terrible, mean responses to OP - moms matter and their mental and physical health matters. Newborn isolation is real. I think the suggestions to get some walks (though keep in mind it has been cold and icy recently - I have a newborn too and haven't been out because of temps this week) is good and also to the extent she can get a little alone time and time to talk to friends and family on the phone. Given Omicron hopefully peaking right now around here, I would avoid public outings with the baby. It will get better. Baby gets more sturdy and there will be some warm weekend weather in the winter just like there always is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Straight up a-holes on this thread.

Are you the poster worried about obesity and depression in OP’s newborn?

Nope. The a-holes are the ones criticizing OP for venting like we all do over this damn pandemic.

+1

Like really? The chicken littles on this thread are ridiculous. OP, this sucks. No one expected we’d still be dealing with this. And frankly, newborns do get RSV, etc. It sucks but it’s not a new parent’s fault if it happens. No one would have expected this pandemic to still be going, and frankly we can stop it tomorrow if we withhold healthcare from unvaccinated adults and stop sacrificing toddlers to save 80 year old grandma who probably will die of something soon anyways.

I hope when you're 80 you sign up for death to make space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But in past years (pre-covid) did newborn/young baby parents really not visit other moms? Not go out to eat? Avoid all shopping and only receive deliveries? All to avoid RSV and flu?

Yes,, pre-pandemic, I did not visit any other moms for the first 2-3 months. I did grocery shopping without baby, and ordered everything else off Amazon. With my second baby, born last winter, it was the same.

The hospital and giving birth experience was not the same. My inlaws lived near us for our first, but not our second and no one was flying in to be there. That was more isolation.

But, the pre-pandemic winter newborn months were the same. I remember as a college student, one of my aunts angry that her daughter (my older cousin) was taking her new baby out to see people. So I don't think this is new or uncommon.

Wow! This sounds so isolating.

NP. Why do you think that? The first 3 months all I wanted to do was sleep. I barely wanted to see anyone