Brushing teeth - so sad I am crying

[Anonymous]

I need help.
I’ve done everything I can to get my 7yo to brush his teeth.

He actually hasn’t done it since last Tuesday.

I’m so sad. So so so sad right now.

I can’t even list all of the things I have done to encourage it. Maybe can get into it later. But, just assume I have done.

My husband has a meeting late tonight so even if I wanted to just call it, and hold him down, it would have to wait until tomorrow.

HELP

[Anonymous]

My kids wouldn’t be able to eat any sweets and probably no screen time or friends until teeth brushed.

[Anonymous]

*we have a chart for him + other kids, and I usually check it nightly. Had such a busy week that I didn’t check the week until this morning.

I didn’t realize he had only done it once last Monday, once last Tuesday. And didn’t check off other days (and I don’t think he did it). There is a motivating reward for checking it off (so if he did it, he wouldn’t have just not checked it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*we have a chart for him + other kids, and I usually check it nightly. Had such a busy week that I didn’t check the week until this morning.

I didn’t realize he had only done it once last Monday, once last Tuesday. And didn’t check off other days (and I don’t think he did it). There is a motivating reward for checking it off (so if he did it, he wouldn’t have just not checked it.

Point is, I didn’t realize how long it had been until he was at school today. I printed our new chart tonight (weekly), and thought we’d have a fresh start. Other kids did. He is still avoiding.

I would have stopped this issue earlier if I was watching.

[Anonymous]

Why are you crying? I’m sorry I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids wouldn’t be able to eat any sweets and probably no screen time or friends until teeth brushed.

Yes he is grounded from his game until next Monday. That’s only the first step.

It’s is ALL upside for cooperating.
It is all downside for being rude about it. He stood at the sink tonight and tiredly handled the brush. Dropping it and it’s toothpaste on his pajamas. I don’t care about that, its just that he came so close.

Negative consequences, counting, positive consequences — it’s actually making him avoid it more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you crying? I’m sorry I don’t understand.

All 3 of my kids have visible cavities. It’s a bigger story.

The last two months we worked hard to get our brushing back on habit.

I’m just very concerned for him. I’m emphasizing brushing because I care. I don’t want him to suffer. He has a very hard time trusting the dentist. It’s just making it harder, and worse.

He got his first perm teeth last year, so for me the stakes feel higher.

[Anonymous]

What does your dentist say about your 7 year old brushing his own teeth? Mine said we should allow them to do the first minute and we do the second to ensure it gets done properly. So I brush DC’s teeth twice a day - before I leave for work and before bed. I would do that for the foreseeable future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you crying? I’m sorry I don’t understand.

All 3 of my kids have visible cavities. It’s a bigger story.

The last two months we worked hard to get our brushing back on habit.

I’m just very concerned for him. I’m emphasizing brushing because I care. I don’t want him to suffer. He has a very hard time trusting the dentist. It’s just making it harder, and worse.

He got his first perm teeth last year, so for me the stakes feel higher.

**to anyone else, you will be reported and blocked for making fun of me crying. Im not taking ANY crap you ace-hole.

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason? Would an electric toothbrush, better tasting toothpaste with sparkles, swishing with fluoride mouthwash, or using a waterpik type device help?

[Anonymous]

What?! I’m sorry to say but at this point you have to force him to do it. We are very strict about tooth brushing I guess but I put the toothpaste on their brushes for them and watch my kids brush their teeth every morning and evening. They have electric toothbrushes that make a noise after 30 seconds and that is their signal they’ve brushed long enough. I guess I don’t know how you got to this point bc it would never occur to me to just assume my young kid is brushing and not actually witness it myself. I let my kids have freedom in other areas of their lives but when it comes to health, safety, hygiene, I’m still helicopter-y. I hope you can regain control of this situation. Don’t be sad about it just take charge and change the way you approach it,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your dentist say about your 7 year old brushing his own teeth? Mine said we should allow them to do the first minute and we do the second to ensure it gets done properly. So I brush DC’s teeth twice a day - before I leave for work and before bed. I would do that for the foreseeable future.

How do you physically make it happen for a child who is (currently) hiding under covers? Because he knows I am sitting here with a ready toothbrush.

I love your advice. I’m not disregarding. It’s an excellent piece of advice. I do need help beyond that.

It is obviously larger than brushing.

[Anonymous]

I stand behind the kid and just wrap one arm around the kid (like a hug, but with the benefit of restraining his arms) and brush with the other hand while giving a math word problem (that distracts my kid who likes word problems). Yeah, it sucks but it's over fast. My philosophy is that if you don't like having your teeth brushed then you can brush them yourself! Brushing isn't negotiable.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 7 and I brush his teeth for him every morning and night and always have. Looks like this is what you’ll have to do also. Not taking any chances when it comes to his health. He has plenty of independence in other things but dental care is too important to leave up to a 7 year old. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?! I’m sorry to say but at this point you have to force him to do it. We are very strict about tooth brushing I guess but I put the toothpaste on their brushes for them and watch my kids brush their teeth every morning and evening. They have electric toothbrushes that make a noise after 30 seconds and that is their signal they’ve brushed long enough. I guess I don’t know how you got to this point bc it would never occur to me to just assume my young kid is brushing and not actually witness it myself. I let my kids have freedom in other areas of their lives but when it comes to health, safety, hygiene, I’m still helicopter-y. I hope you can regain control of this situation. Don’t be sad about it just take charge and change the way you approach it,

Stop with the “What?!” You are so rude.

I do their bedtime. Last week was super busy. Husband put them to bed alone two nights. He is more hands off and figured the 7yo HAS been doing at least once daily on his own. I guess he was overwhelmed doing bedtime alone and forgot? Kid was sick last week too. I think one night he fell asleep before real bedtime.

Stop your condescension though.