NO wedding registry?

[Anonymous]

My good friend is getting married in May and I recently asked her about a registry and she told me they aren’t going to make a registry. I was pretty surprised by that as I’ve never been to a wedding where there was no registry and to me, seems like a big money grab. This isn’t a small wedding either, they have around 200 people on their list. Is this weird or do other people actually do no registry weddings? I’m assuming my only option is writing them a check…

[Anonymous]

Seems fine to me. No one is forcing you to give them money. Give them a gift of your choosing.

[Anonymous]

You can get a gift. My Mom was really against registries so I didn't do one to keep the peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems fine to me. No one is forcing you to give them money. Give them a gift of your choosing.

Op here- I don’t mind writing a check, I just usually love picking out a nice gift or two from the registry. Given she is a good friend, my plan was around a $300ish gift but I’d have no clue what to randomly buy without a registry. Guess I’ll just write the check but I’ve never been to a wedding that didn’t have a registry so was just curious.

[Anonymous]

You can send a gift. But the clear message is they don’t want or need anything and a check is preferable. At least they didn’t provide a Venmo link in the invite. (Happened at the last wedding we were invited to…)

[Anonymous]

not fond of this practice, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not fond of this practice, either.

Me neither. Cash grabs are worse than gift grabs. But the self-righteous charity ones take the cake.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Why is a no wedding registry a cash grab? Why can't you just give a giftcard or cheque for the amount you would have spent on the registry items? Its the same thing. Maybe they have all the cutlery and crap they need.

[Anonymous]

You can always send a gift if that’s what you prefer. Having a registry actually seems more crass than not having one, although I understand the practical value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Why is a no wedding registry a cash grab? Why can't you just give a giftcard or cheque for the amount you would have spent on the registry items? Its the same thing. Maybe they have all the cutlery and crap they need.

I totally think it’s a cash grab.

[Anonymous]

I'm so confused about why people think a gift grab is better than a cash grab? So weird.

Traditional etiquette dictates that you don't mention gifts in a wedding invitation. Registries are a fairly modern, and definitely an American thing.

I usually just give an envelope of cash anyway. I'd rather give you cash, use your 10% discount to buy more than I would have bought you.

Now what's SUPER tacky is a honeymoon registry.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what the problem is, OP, just give them $100 or whatever you'd spend on a gift in cash. Consider it a gift to you, you don't have to waste your time picking something out.

I find it super weird that you all are calling this a cash grab, when there's no mention of gifts at all. Maybe they already have everything they need and would prefer to save up money for a down payment.

You sound like a total freak to be offended by this OP. Maybe you shouldn't go since you're such a judgmental asshole.

[Anonymous]

Jewish people don't have a wedding registry for a wedding, just for an engagement. Jewish people give checks.

[Anonymous]

What’s wrong with giving cash? Better than some useless gift thats just going to be trashed or regifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jewish people don't have a wedding registry for a wedding, just for an engagement. Jewish people give checks.

This is not universal. I am Jewish and had a registry, as did many Jewish people I know. There's nothing in the Torah saying "thou shalt not have a wedding registry."