Comfort level around unvaxxed family
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We have not seen my family on the west coast for over 2 years now and finally plan to visit in a few weeks. My parents are divorced and my mom and step father are fully vaccinated and boosted and very COVID cautious (more than we are), as is nearly all of the rest of the family. However, my dad and step mom are not vaccinated, along with my 25 year old half sibling who lives at home. They all had COVID in 2020 and strongly believe it was nothing but a cold so they don’t need to be vaccinated. They also take no precautions unless required by law - so they aren’t really wearing masks, they eat at restaurants indoors all the time, my half sibling frequents crowded bars and clubs, etc.
We are staying with my mom during the trip, but normally spend a lot of time with my dad as well since they live very close to one another. My kids also love doing a slumber party at grandpa’s which is a tradition they really look forward to. Now that we are getting close to the trip I am getting a little nervous about spending so much time with them since the Omicron surge has not yet died down where they live. DH and I are both vaccinated and boosted and have had COVID. One of our kids is fully vaccinated as of early December, and the other is 4 so not vaccinated at all. Curious for those who are middle of the road cautious (not extreme on either side) what you would allow and be comfortable with based on the below: 1. Hanging out unmasked at my dad’s house for a couple hours here and there. Would likely include eating a meal while there. While I know we could wear masks to be safe I think that will be really annoying for my kids and make things uncomfortable since they think we are “extreme”. 2. Letting just my older, vaccinated child do a sleepover at their house one time. Would mean multiple hours of unmasked time together. 3. Letting my dad/stepmom take the kids to do a couple special activities which would mean driving in their car for 30+ mins unmasked and spending the day with them (would be something like the zoo, going to the American Girl store, etc). Again, my kids will just be annoyed if I make them wear masks in the car and my 4 year old will very likely just take it off, and she is the most vulnerable. I already told them we will only eat at restaurants outdoors so they can either choose to join or not if we eat out. I can certainly ask them to get tested before we come, and they will do it reluctantly, but if they are still engaging in risky behavior like going to the gym or stores unmasked, not sure what the point is in confirming they don’t have COVID at one specific moment in time. How would others handle this? Flying across the country and only seeing them for short periods of time outdoors just isn’t going to happen. |
Anonymous
|
My policy has always been clear - we will not socialize with any unvaccinated people, given that this population has put our country through so much. My husband has no close relatives that are unvaccinated. Sadly, I have two aunts and three cousins who are unvaccinated, one of whom just died. We will not see anyone who is unvaccinated, period. |
Anonymous
| I'm fine with it in my family, but my unvaxxed family members are all in their 20s or younger. My immediate family is all vaxxed and boosted, so we've resumed normal lives. I would not be comfortable around my parents if they were unvaxxed because I wouldn't want to be the one who gave them covid. |
Anonymous
|
PP is clearly not “middle of the road.”
OP, I would see them as normal. You are vaccinated, and statistically speaking, your 4 yo has very low risk of serious illness. I think it’s ok to ask them be a bit more careful a week or so before you see them. But you are flying anyway. We have close relatives who are unvaccinated & always felt the risk was more to them than to us (since we could still spread it to them, but our vaccines protect us from severe illness). |
Anonymous
| This is OP. Thanks for the two replies above, but does this mean you would just never see your parents again? I can’t fly out there and just see them for 15 mins outside. Plus if something did happen to them and I never saw them again since before COVID I would have major regrets. |
Anonymous
This is my policy as well. We skipped family Christmas this year because unvaxxed relatives even refused to get tested. |
Anonymous
This is my policy too. Engage in antisocial behavior, suffer the consequences. |
Anonymous
|
My DH and I were planning to visit our family in New England last summer after not seeing them for more than a year. At the time, our DS was four. My dad is VERY much a local NH live free or die type and entrenched in his beliefs. My mom, siblings and other family members were fully vaccinated. I told my DH I would handle and then flat out told my father to decide which he cared about more-his politics or his grandson. He got J&J and saw his grandson.
|
Anonymous
This. But a more lenient compromise could be only doing things outside and masked |
Anonymous
Uh yeah you can restrict visits to outside only. Why “can’t “ you? |
Anonymous
Family does not mean much to some of the PPs. OP, Dr. Fauci himself has stated that once someone has omicron, they will most likely be protected by their natural immunity against BOTH omicron and delta for 3 months. Can you wait until your family has gotten omicron and then restart your normal family visits again? https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-01-21/omicron-reinfections-unlikely-over-several-months-fauci-says |
Anonymous
On the contrary, it means so much we are willing to forego visits with unvaccinated relatives to preserve everyone's families. We are doctors and scientists, and see first hand the unconscionable consequences that vaccination refusal puts on our healthcare systems, the valuable, courageous people that save lives every day, as well as the innocent patients who are seriously ill with other diseases or injuries and who cannot receive adequate and timely care. We CANNOT socialize with the unvaccinated as if nothing had happened. It's a question of ethics, morals, conscience... call it what you want, but the unvaccinated are collectively responsible for killing hundreds of thousands of people. No. |
Anonymous
OP, I am in a very similar position with an unvaccinated family member and also other family members who are vaccinated but get annoyed at us for wanting to be careful (I also have an child who is under 5 and we just can’t keep quarantining constantly- that is actually my biggest issue more than actual risk at this point). I’m not willing to completely cut these family members out of my life and so far have asked that they do a rapid test for big family events (I do one too, since vaccinated people can certainly pass on COVID it turns out). But I’m not going to do that forever. I was thinking we would be done when my youngest can be vaccinated but since that is stretching on I’m going yo watch the numbers and decide. For me it’s important to act based on the actual risk to my family (both health and time out of school) rather that taking a moral position. I believe they have been fed dangerous misinformation and I really wish that were not the case but I don’t cut people out of my life for that. |
Anonymous
| I’m from CA and my parents are not vaccinated. We have flown out for extended visits to see them during covid. They are very careful and don’t go in large groups etc. But they feel like the risk is mostly to them and they would rather see us than not. I get the fear of covid but older parents are also on a limited timeframe and I’m not going to wait until covid is over to see my unvaccinated family. No issues whatever so far. |
Anonymous
| We would only see the unvaccinated relatives outdoors with masks on, and explain to the kids why they can’t do the sleepover tradition this trip. “Ask Grandpa why he won’t get vaccinated to protect himself and everyone around him.” |