Envious of these types of people

[Anonymous]

So this is pretty high school and embarrassing to admit so I’m only saying so on an anonymous forum. My SIL and her husband are, what I have come to describe half-jokingly as “tier 1” people. They seem to check off all the SES markers and physical and intellectual attributes that would put them in the spot if there was a social hierarchy. For starters, they’re both beautiful physically. High school and college athletes, they are naturally blessed with good sporty genes and are very good looking. They’re fit, run races and workout intensely every day as if it’s as normal as brushing your teeth. They are also stunningly well dressed with carefully coordinated outfits and expensive clothes. They have the right brand of luxury cars you’d expect in their expensive neighborhood in just the right zip code. They have a tasteful but expensive home in a coveted neighborhood which they’ve outfitted beautifully with the help of interior designers. They of course also earn a handsome income working in finance although SIL will soon be a SAHM upon the birth of their first child.

Meanwhile, my husband is the exact opposite of his hyper perfect sister. He is laid back, jeans and T shirt guy who doesn’t know the difference between Tiffany’s and Kay Jewelers. He doesn’t work out, eats what he wants and works for himself although quite successfully. I too am very laidback, no makeup type of woman and although I try to be active, I have never been athletic and loathe working out. I really want a nice house too and love nice things but it’s hard to be picky when you’re financially strapped. I’m spending a weekend with this couple, for the first time in my life I realized, I’m not a “first tier” person. I’m painfully average.

[Anonymous]

Aw it's OK you found your level. If it really bothers you maybe you two can level up together.

[Anonymous]

They sound like nice people who are happy. You also sound like you like the life you chose and like your husband. Maybe focus on the fact that you have a nice, happy family even if not everyone has made the same choices. Plenty of people have to spend their holidays with toxic people. Be happy that this is not your lot in life.

[Anonymous]

Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their cross to bear. I look "perfect" from the outside, but I don't talk about the lack of relationship with my parents, or all my health issues.

[Anonymous]

I get it! They probably strive to look effortless too, but I bet all stops were out over Thanksgiving and they probably had a lot of stress before hand or need downtime afterwards. Meaning, they probably don’t look so picture perfect when no one’s around. In case that makes you feel any better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it! They probably strive to look effortless too, but I bet all stops were out over Thanksgiving and they probably had a lot of stress before hand or need downtime afterwards. Meaning, they probably don’t look so picture perfect when no one’s around. In case that makes you feel any better!

Op here. I think they strive to have the best / most perfect everything. I know they spend a lot of time comparing and researching homes, furniture, clothes, food to eat. It’s a little exhausting to be around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it! They probably strive to look effortless too, but I bet all stops were out over Thanksgiving and they probably had a lot of stress before hand or need downtime afterwards. Meaning, they probably don’t look so picture perfect when no one’s around. In case that makes you feel any better!

Op here. I think they strive to have the best / most perfect everything. I know they spend a lot of time comparing and researching homes, furniture, clothes, food to eat. It’s a little exhausting to be around them.

They seem pleasant enough. Sounds like you don't even want to be like them so count your blessings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it! They probably strive to look effortless too, but I bet all stops were out over Thanksgiving and they probably had a lot of stress before hand or need downtime afterwards. Meaning, they probably don’t look so picture perfect when no one’s around. In case that makes you feel any better!

Op here. I think they strive to have the best / most perfect everything. I know they spend a lot of time comparing and researching homes, furniture, clothes, food to eat. It’s a little exhausting to be around them.

Think of them as sprinters whereas as you’re marathoners. Different race, different runners, different vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it! They probably strive to look effortless too, but I bet all stops were out over Thanksgiving and they probably had a lot of stress before hand or need downtime afterwards. Meaning, they probably don’t look so picture perfect when no one’s around. In case that makes you feel any better!

Op here. I think they strive to have the best / most perfect everything. I know they spend a lot of time comparing and researching homes, furniture, clothes, food to eat. It’s a little exhausting to be around them.

They seem pleasant enough. Sounds like you don't even want to be like them so count your blessings

Haha. I do envy their beautiful and perfectly curated life but do not have the drive and self discipline to put it into action.

[Anonymous]

Being that high maintenance is probably more exhausting than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is pretty high school and embarrassing to admit so I’m only saying so on an anonymous forum. My SIL and her husband are, what I have come to describe half-jokingly as “tier 1” people. They seem to check off all the SES markers and physical and intellectual attributes that would put them in the spot if there was a social hierarchy. For starters, they’re both beautiful physically. High school and college athletes, they are naturally blessed with good sporty genes and are very good looking. They’re fit, run races and workout intensely every day as if it’s as normal as brushing your teeth. They are also stunningly well dressed with carefully coordinated outfits and expensive clothes. They have the right brand of luxury cars you’d expect in their expensive neighborhood in just the right zip code. They have a tasteful but expensive home in a coveted neighborhood which they’ve outfitted beautifully with the help of interior designers. They of course also earn a handsome income working in finance although SIL will soon be a SAHM upon the birth of their first child.

Meanwhile, my husband is the exact opposite of his hyper perfect sister. He is laid back, jeans and T shirt guy who doesn’t know the difference between Tiffany’s and Kay Jewelers. He doesn’t work out, eats what he wants and works for himself although quite successfully. I too am very laidback, no makeup type of woman and although I try to be active, I have never been athletic and loathe working out. I really want a nice house too and love nice things but it’s hard to be picky when you’re financially strapped. I’m spending a weekend with this couple, for the first time in my life I realized, I’m not a “first tier” person. I’m painfully average.

Sounds like they are ugly losers who work hard to look good. I would not be jealous.

I did once date a girl for two years who I was jealous of. She literally ate like a truck driver. Her nickname was the food processor. Could drink you under table. She shopped thrift store or raided moms or sisters closets and looked so trendy everyone followed her. She had a bikini body to die for, Long blond hair all natural.

Literally she stay over my place and bring an underwear and toothbrush in pocketbook and look like a supermodel in morning and with no makeup.

These people have to work at it too much. Not jealous

[Anonymous]

Tier 1?
No darling, that's owning expensive real estate all over the world and traveling in private jets.. etc etc.

[Anonymous]

My brother and his wife try to do the same thing.

It exhausts their lives. They can't let go though, and don't pay enough attention to their kids as a result.

Wait until they have kids. Either they will change or they might have terrible, misbehaving kids.

Give me sweatshirt and shorts and a happy/chill attitude 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

I'd far rather be your friend than your sister.