If your 3rd child was an oops baby.

[Anonymous]

If your third child was an oops baby, how have things worked out?

With the third, I don't see how can continue juggle work + children. Our car is now too small. Home too small. I'm four months pregnant and just now scheduled the prenatal appointment because wanted an abortion and to deny the situation. I had an abortion at 23 (35 now) but couldn't go through with it this time.

Wondering how many adapted and are doing okay, and how many are overwhelmed chronically.

[Anonymous]

We have 3; ages 5, 3, and 1. We did buy a new car with a third row. Our oldest kids share a room and our youngest has his own. No big issues juggling work with kids yet since they are still young and their activities are on the weekends. We have a nanny that comes in from 9-5. I, personally, don’t find 3 any more overwhelming than 2 while they are young, at least.

[Anonymous]

We had a surprise baby when our DDs were 7 and 9 and they still feel he was the best "gift" they ever got in their lives. They have loved on him since he was born. They were offended to not have been in the room when he was born. DS is the most loved little boy to walk the earth. He's an easy, smiley kid who goes with the flow and always makes any situation more fun.

We never wanted a third kid, but we for sure love having OUR third kid.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

[Anonymous]

My 3rd is just 2 y/o so I don’t know if that’s enough time for you. Our house is too small (three bedrooms for five people). Our car is too small (5 seater for 5 people- we squeeze in there). Money is tighter. Life is chaotic.

But we don’t regret it. Sometimes I think about how easy it was with two kids, but I would make the same decision again. Our life feels very full, and this was the right decision for our family. DH got a vasectomy though.

No One can tell you the right choice for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

NP but I feel like adoption would be really hard to explain to her older kids?

[Anonymous]

5, 3 and newborn here. Looooooove the newborn and she’s brought so much joy to our lives. It’s the other kids that are the issue. I dread this baby growing into a toddler and have no idea what I will do. Life is currently one big struggle, I spend 60k on daycare which I hadn’t planned on. We had thought kindergarten would be cheaper than daycare but no. We spend a lot more, have way less reliable help than daycare and have to burn tons of annual leave for random days off. Some days I definitely feel underwater. But that’s not the newborns fault- it’s mostly public school and my wild toddler.

We can fit 3 car seats in our normal cars and didn’t need a bigger home (we have 5 bedrooms).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

NP but I feel like adoption would be really hard to explain to her older kids?

Just explain that they couldn't keep the baby because it was too expensive but the baby went to a loving, caring family. Maybe keep the adoption semi-open so the kids can kind of know their sibling. Or don't tell until they're older, from what I've read they seem kind of young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your third child was an oops baby, how have things worked out?

With the third, I don't see how can continue juggle work + children. Our car is now too small. Home too small. I'm four months pregnant and just now scheduled the prenatal appointment because wanted an abortion and to deny the situation. I had an abortion at 23 (35 now) but couldn't go through with it this time.

Wondering how many adapted and are doing okay, and how many are overwhelmed chronically.

In this days and age, no such thing as an oops baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

NP but I feel like adoption would be really hard to explain to her older kids?

Just explain that they couldn't keep the baby because it was too expensive but the baby went to a loving, caring family. Maybe keep the adoption semi-open so the kids can kind of know their sibling. Or don't tell until they're older, from what I've read they seem kind of young.

[Anonymous]

Get a great nanny and a previously-owned bigger car.

Yes, our third was a surprise in timing. I never said I was done after two kids but I certainly did not expect to get pregnant 3 months post partum and exclusively breastfeeding (without a period). We hired a great nanny and that’s made all the difference. Because of the nanny going from two to three was easier than from one to two.

My third is a sweetheart, btw. My cuddliest and sweetest baby ever. At 12 months now she takes my face in her hands and gives me a kiss, then signs “more” and kisses me again! Her brother makes up songs about how much he loves her and the two year old is constantly giving her things and telling me what she needs or is feeling! DH says it’s like watching a box of kittens play!

Sure, it’s exhausting even with nanny but it’s also pretty great!

[Anonymous]

You need to realize that there is no oops baby. Also realize that you do not need a third row. Three kids are able to fit in the backseat. Children also do not need their own room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to realize that there is no oops baby. Also realize that you do not need a third row. Three kids are able to fit in the backseat. Children also do not need their own room.

Not true in our old car, PP. we didn’t need a third row but definitely needed a bigger backseat for three car seats. And there are definitely “oops babies”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

NP but I feel like adoption would be really hard to explain to her older kids?

Just explain that they couldn't keep the baby because it was too expensive but the baby went to a loving, caring family. Maybe keep the adoption semi-open so the kids can kind of know their sibling. Or don't tell until they're older, from what I've read they seem kind of young.

OMG. I hope you are joking, but in case you're not, don't ever ever ever ever ever say this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you considered adoption? I know someone who adopted a baby from someone who didn't want a third child or an abortion.

NP but I feel like adoption would be really hard to explain to her older kids?

Just explain that they couldn't keep the baby because it was too expensive but the baby went to a loving, caring family. Maybe keep the adoption semi-open so the kids can kind of know their sibling. Or don't tell until they're older, from what I've read they seem kind of young.

OMG. I hope you are joking, but in case you're not, don't ever ever ever ever ever say this.

Well, what would you say?