Are strange pronouns/xenogenders normal?

[Anonymous]

My 15 year-old just came out as pansexual, aromantic, and genderfluid and transitions between genders and pronouns on daily, but instead of male/female, it's genders like "stargender," "boyflux," and a gender that was based on a pokemon character. The pronouns have also been things like "xe," "thae," (with that spelling), "thon," "it," "fae," and others. I want to be supportive, as I usually am of LGBTQ, but this whole thing seems so silly and like they're doing it for attention. They make it their whole personality and I'm confused what I as a parent should be doing. Do any other parents have children doing the same?

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the club. Most of us really don’t want to be members. Watch out for depression anxiety and self destructive behaviors; they’re often not too far behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the club. Most of us really don’t want to be members. Watch out for depression anxiety and self destructive behaviors; they’re often not too far behind.

PP again. Or more accurately, they often precede the other stuff but are under-diagnosed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the club. Most of us really don’t want to be members. Watch out for depression anxiety and self destructive behaviors; they’re often not too far behind.

+1 in the f'in trenches right now.

[Anonymous]

We parents are supposed to be neutral and allow for exploration. Easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Some of it may be a way to deflect parental questions about what is really going with n in their lives. A way to say keep your nose out of my business.

[Anonymous]

I am also in this mess with my daughter. I’m so confused and upset. What is happening with our kids, particularly girls, are coming out as bi, trans and queer? In my daughter’s circle, over 70% are labeling as one of these (10 girls). Is the incidence of this just way, way higher than we knew or is there something else going on?

[Anonymous]

It’s just the new version of playing pretend with dolls. The less fuss you make over it the better. Just roll with it. When kids ask for respect for their creative gender whatevers, they’re really asking for just… respect. They’re testing you to see if they can define themselves and have you respect that. It’s a completely normal adolescent urge, although the form it’s taking is startling to you.

As long as they’re doing well otherwise, don’t fuss about the gender stuff. If they are not doing well otherwise, support them in the areas where they are struggling rather than focusing on gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also in this mess with my daughter. I’m so confused and upset. What is happening with our kids, particularly girls, are coming out as bi, trans and queer? In my daughter’s circle, over 70% are labeling as one of these (10 girls). Is the incidence of this just way, way higher than we knew or is there something else going on?

I think like-minded people tend to find each other and then go off of each other. They'll likely grow out of it when they find something else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also in this mess with my daughter. I’m so confused and upset. What is happening with our kids, particularly girls, are coming out as bi, trans and queer? In my daughter’s circle, over 70% are labeling as one of these (10 girls). Is the incidence of this just way, way higher than we knew or is there something else going on?

This way they don't have guys demanding sex from them.

OPs teenager sounds like their either have some mental health issues going on, or they are messing with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the new version of playing pretend with dolls. The less fuss you make over it the better. Just roll with it. When kids ask for respect for their creative gender whatevers, they’re really asking for just… respect. They’re testing you to see if they can define themselves and have you respect that. It’s a completely normal adolescent urge, although the form it’s taking is startling to you.

As long as they’re doing well otherwise, don’t fuss about the gender stuff. If they are not doing well otherwise, support them in the areas where they are struggling rather than focusing on gender.

This is a helpful take. It is statistically improbable that we'd have so many trans kids in our midst. Your take is better than mine, where I tend to think of the trans explosion as mass hysteria like the Salem witch trials or satanic panic. In these cases, doubting parents would be the witches and devil worshippers.

[Anonymous]

My challenge as a parent is when mine started saying they want to take hormones as age 14. Oh yeah, also surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My challenge as a parent is when mine started saying they want to take hormones as age 14. Oh yeah, also surgery.

There's no way a 14 yo could begin to grasp the consequences of those actions. How have you handled it thus far? Did you have any indication early on that this could be a thing or was it rapid onset around puberty! I ask because my kid is newly (openly) questioning and it seems out of the blue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also in this mess with my daughter. I’m so confused and upset. What is happening with our kids, particularly girls, are coming out as bi, trans and queer? In my daughter’s circle, over 70% are labeling as one of these (10 girls). Is the incidence of this just way, way higher than we knew or is there something else going on?

I teach 7th grade, and it’s a full blown trend. Social media drives a lot of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also in this mess with my daughter. I’m so confused and upset. What is happening with our kids, particularly girls, are coming out as bi, trans and queer? In my daughter’s circle, over 70% are labeling as one of these (10 girls). Is the incidence of this just way, way higher than we knew or is there something else going on?

I think like-minded people tend to find each other and then go off of each other. They'll likely grow out of it when they find something else

It’s all the rage among college aged girls.