Do you have a friend who makes up vague health reasons to cancel your plans at the last minute?

[Anonymous]

Maybe every 3rd time we get together? (And those times are infrequent)

Can't tell if she is neurotic or just a liar...but it is starting to really annoy me.

(And before you say that she just is trying to drop me: she initiates the original plan at least half the time)

[Anonymous]

She probably has a chronic disease that she is uncomfortable talking about, like IBD, that is unpredictable and embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like depression.

[Anonymous]

Mental health issues are not made up.

[Anonymous]

Alcoholic

[Anonymous]

These responses are helping me be more compassionate. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Maybe social anxiety? I would give her a little grace.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety? Introverted? Sometimes you just can't deal with others.

[Anonymous]

Probably social anxiety that could lead to a full blown panic attack. Don't take it personally. Meet people where they are and give them grace to get better.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety and/or chronic illness.

Anxiety gives rise to genuine physical symptoms, as I know only too well. If I've had several nights of sleep deprivation because I wake up too often with panic attacks that take hours to subside, I'm not going to be great shape, OP. My friend has debilitating weather-related migraines - I know not to get together at those times.

Or, she could be a flaky friend. But I wouldn't start off by assuming the worse!

[Anonymous]

I have had horrible cramps and periods due to endometriosis and it is debilitating. It's very hard to manage and has impacted school, work, and social life for years.

[Anonymous]

Ever think she is actively avoid you?

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a bright personality but also a medical condition that causes her significant fatigue that knocks her on her feet and makes her unable to get out of bed at times. So often people assume, because she’s otherwise social and wants to be social, that she’s blowing them off. It’s distressing for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She probably has a chronic disease that she is uncomfortable talking about, like IBD, that is unpredictable and embarrassing.

This.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who skips every third get together with a group of friends we have. I think for her it's a way to control finances. If she said during planning she could not make a weekend, we'd pick another so she agrees and then cancels day of. Every third time!