Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

It is funny how quickly Jen and Kristen pivoted from adulation of their husbands to vilifying them Kristen used to tag her first dh on IG as #shirtlessMark. And Jen would post couple photos of her and Brando with some precious line like, Look at us! More in love than ever!

At least one of them has a nice boyfriend now.

[Anonymous]

Oooh look who made it to Iceland.!

Who thinks they're actually sharing a room?

[Anonymous]

They all went to a museum in Iceland that is dedicated to penises. I can’t tell you how much I wouldn’t want that to be a part of a special and expensive 50th birthday celebration.

Or, maybe her and Tyler are getting married after all and this is the bachelorette getaway.

[Anonymous]

Another cruise in 2025? Yep

[Anonymous]

Droolings, droolings, droolings!

I am in ICELAND, land of lagoons and oodles of summer tourists—shoutout to the individual in the black jacket with the crooked part who is in our group selfie. We could not contain our joy at being together for an additional five seconds for you to relocate, and I was so PUMPED to share an Iceland shot that I couldn’t be bothered with any one of six dozen apps that can instantly erase stray heads from otherwise memorable photos. Also, proof of life, IYKYK Tra la la!

It’s so good to be ME. As you can see, I’m with my CREW, continuing the BIG SUMMER BLOWOUT FIFTIETH BIRTHDAYPALOOZA. I may have mentioned I turned 50 this past week and I’m so honored that my dear, dear, friends flew here to celebrate me and a couple of other people who are acthally insignificant but tagging them because BESTIEEEEES! Ride or dies for life!

Also, I live here now. I might have said that about some of my previous MeCamp locations, but I really mean it this time because…PUFFINS! I’ve told my team to forward my fan mail, which will likely require an ocean liner or maybe the United States Navy’s Atlantic Fleet because so many people LOVE ME, but your girl is now an OUTLANDER. Icelander, whatever. I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart droolings. Can you see it?

As you can see, my RIVER CREW and I have been joined by our men (Whew!) <praying hands emoji praying hands emoji praying hands emoji > #UnderContractBaby

We are having a SIMPLY MARVELOUS time celebrating my fiftieth - you only turn 50 once, bealeagureds, and we are TOTALLY blending in with all the outlanders. Icelanders, whatever, tra la la! Who knew word shirts and bandana headwear were de rigeur this far north, but they are! And if they aren’t thetrevorbarrettproject is starting a new trend with his rad-biker-black-man-theater-nerd lewk. Isn’t it PRESH? So many people have recognized us. I am UNHINGED. We love how you love our love.

Pls note the lack of tagging thetrevorbarretproject - it’s a HILARIOUS game we’re playing with each other online, and clearly, I’m winning, BABY. #TakeThat

Our RIDICULOUSLY fun activities so far have included boat rides, an indoor tomato farm and watching smoke come out of the ground. It’s geowhizzical or geothermal or some such phenomenon - WHATEVER; I’m a writer, which means I’m a WORD GIRL and not a science girl or scientist or whatever you call science girls. But science is a good thing, and we follow it and post memes about it, but only when it’s trending tra la la. Today, we’re in ICELAND. Or rather, I am. Please live vicariously through me since I SO needed this vacation to recover from doing life back in Bewda.

Since SO MANY of you have been in my DMs asking about my outfits - I feel SO ADORED - I’m planning to put together an Iceland Shopping Guide with links and coupon codes, so STAY TUNED on how to get my not-at-all-awkwardly-fitting clambake pants, my ADORABLE fanny pack, and of course, my mamaw shoes so you can replicate my exact style. If you’re not planning your own Iceland adventure - which you SHOULD DO IMMEDIATELY - then don’t worry, all of these items will be in the Jane Capstitcher Holiday Grift Guide. Which will be out in October. I know you can’t wait. SQUEE!

Everyone is having the best time. We’re all blending in and getting along, and there’s no awkwardness, as you can surely tell from my hastily slapped-together pictures - ESPESH that last one. We’re having a BLAST.

Because we’re in ICELAND, and I’m 50.

[Anonymous]

Hey Skylar!

Hope things are fantastic in Drooble Falls. Obvs, we’re having brat summer here in Reykjavik. I wish you were here for realz.

You asked about that group in the background of the pic of me and Emma at the hot springs and funny story. They were a typically loud AF American group wearing tee shirts with slogans about David Palmer (whoever TF that is) and other things that made zero sense and also all the women had on matching shoes exactly like the ones my nana has. This one lady from Slovenia asked if we were all together, and Em told them NO WAY and that we were actually from Toronto - white lie FTW - LMBO

I downloaded PhotoErase so hopefully, I’ll be able to get rid of them and paste in some mountains of puffs of steam or something. It’s the only one where I’m looking at the camera and Emma isn’t doing that weird thing with her neck that she does.

We actually sat next to that same group of embarrassing Americans at lunch and it was kind of hard not to listen in on their conversation. Best I can tell, it was a group of five couples, but one of the couples was having some sort of issue because there was a really complicated discussion about who was going to sleep where in the Airbnb because apparently two of them weren’t speaking and wanted to break up but had to stay together for the cooking demo in Denver. IDK what that meant.

Best I can tell, the guy was the big dude in the bandana and sunglasses (rapper poser LOL) because he wasn’t really talking to the rest of their group, but I did hear him tell the waitress, “You matter,” so he’s probably not a bad guy b/c it didn’t come off as creepy. Maybe he was with the v. v. blonde lady.

Speaking of v.v. blonde lady, I guess I was staring - big yikes of me, I know, but she had these really cheugy brows that looked like they were about to do battle. Remember when Juniper got that microblade thing done and things looked v. weird up there for a couple of weeks? I thought it might be that, and her friend caught me staring. I thought she was gonna call me out but then she smiled and I got scared for a minute bc her teeth were a little - well nm, that’s mean, but then she asked if I wanted a picture with Jane.

So apparently, v.v. blonde lady - Jane Bonnetsewer or something like that - is some kind of big deal famous author, and they thought I was staring at her because I recognized her, not because of the eyebrows, so I just went with it. She called me “her bewildered” and said I made her heart burst, and then we hugged and selfied. She smelled like wine and orange Tic Tacks and TBH, she scared me a little when she wouldn’t let go. Emma and I ended up getting our sandwiches to go because it felt cringe to just sit by them after that.

Tomorrow - Blue Lagoon! Hope we don’t run into them again.

Miss you - Thx for feeding Jane Hopper & Max Mayfield for me. My Nana gets back from her European River Cruise on Saturday and she’ll come by after that. Don’t let her talk your ear off!

Xoxo

Sage

P.S. Also, I think I’m in a book club now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had never heard of Kristen until she was on Jen’s Divorce Rant podcast (with Jamie Wright too).

What a sh*tshow that conversation was.

The basic convo was: We were all perfect princesses until we married our TERRIBLE husbands, whom we knew were terrible but married anyway because of: church, patriarchy, culture BS? And now that we’re free, we’re PERFECT again! Tra-la-la. (Jane Capstitcher scribe, I love you!)

Complaining about "the patriarchy" is another manifestation of radical chic. It's all shallow, self-absorbed silliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They all went to a museum in Iceland that is dedicated to penises. I can’t tell you how much I wouldn’t want that to be a part of a special and expensive 50th birthday celebration.

Or, maybe her and Tyler are getting married after all and this is the bachelorette getaway.

I don't see them getting married but who knows? It would prob. make her happy but he just seems so not into her. I missed the penis museum but I am ok with that. Jen's whispery "I'm so naughty" mode I can live without

[Anonymous]

"Jane Capstitcher Scribe", you deservea book deal.

[Anonymous]

I think, to a large degree, the entire progressive thing is largely about image rather than substance, about being seen striking the right poses and signaling for the right causes rather than actually living anything out. It's what the late writer Tom Wolfe referred to as "radical chic."

Several years ago after a divorce, I (white lady, then late 30s, conservative) met a nice guy while I was out on girls night. He happened to be from Honduras. A week or so later at a social event at a progressive college friend’s house, another progressive friend, upon seeing his pic said something along the lines of “whoa…republican MyName, dating a Latino.” I said “first off, I’m conservative, to republican. There’s a difference. Secondly, what’s the big deal. He seems nice.”

In my head I’m thinking, I’m out-progressiving the progressives. They’re all white, living in an affluent part of town, married to other white people. I’m the one mentoring at-risk kids and (a few years later) was adopted as godmom to my daughter’s black bestie who is now just part of our family. Not trying to pat myself on the back. I’m just trying to be the person I’m supposed to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think, to a large degree, the entire progressive thing is largely about image rather than substance, about being seen striking the right poses and signaling for the right causes rather than actually living anything out. It's what the late writer Tom Wolfe referred to as "radical chic."

Several years ago after a divorce, I (white lady, then late 30s, conservative) met a nice guy while I was out on girls night. He happened to be from Honduras. A week or so later at a social event at a progressive college friend’s house, another progressive friend, upon seeing his pic said something along the lines of “whoa…republican MyName, dating a Latino.” I said “first off, I’m conservative, to republican. There’s a difference. Secondly, what’s the big deal. He seems nice.”

In my head I’m thinking, I’m out-progressiving the progressives. They’re all white, living in an affluent part of town, married to other white people. I’m the one mentoring at-risk kids and (a few years later) was adopted as godmom to my daughter’s black bestie who is now just part of our family. Not trying to pat myself on the back. I’m just trying to be the person I’m supposed to be.

Acting shocked that your dating a Latino is a great example of how insular and ignorant progressives tend to be. They have some ridiculous caricatured image of conservatives in their heads that doesn't come close to matching the reality for most people, and because they frequently don't get out of their extremely sheltered bubble of group think, they don't have the opportunity to learn about other people from actual experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They all went to a museum in Iceland that is dedicated to penises. I can’t tell you how much I wouldn’t want that to be a part of a special and expensive 50th birthday celebration.

Or, maybe her and Tyler are getting married after all and this is the bachelorette getaway.

That strikes me as more performative deconstruction stuff of the "I used to be an uptight conservative Christian but now I'm so cool and over all that" variety. Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think, to a large degree, the entire progressive thing is largely about image rather than substance, about being seen striking the right poses and signaling for the right causes rather than actually living anything out. It's what the late writer Tom Wolfe referred to as "radical chic."

Several years ago after a divorce, I (white lady, then late 30s, conservative) met a nice guy while I was out on girls night. He happened to be from Honduras. A week or so later at a social event at a progressive college friend’s house, another progressive friend, upon seeing his pic said something along the lines of “whoa…republican MyName, dating a Latino.” I said “first off, I’m conservative, to republican. There’s a difference. Secondly, what’s the big deal. He seems nice.”

In my head I’m thinking, I’m out-progressiving the progressives. They’re all white, living in an affluent part of town, married to other white people. I’m the one mentoring at-risk kids and (a few years later) was adopted as godmom to my daughter’s black bestie who is now just part of our family. Not trying to pat myself on the back. I’m just trying to be the person I’m supposed to be.

Acting shocked that your dating a Latino is a great example of how insular and ignorant progressives tend to be. They have some ridiculous caricatured image of conservatives in their heads that doesn't come close to matching the reality for most people, and because they frequently don't get out of their extremely sheltered bubble of group think, they don't have the opportunity to learn about other people from actual experience.

One of my progressive friends was talking about how her son was pansexual. This was a few years back and I'd not heard the term. She said "You would not understand because you're conservative." I asked her to explain it to me and it turns out, she could not, so it was not me who didn't understand. I get the general idea now but it illustrates the ridiculous notions we hold sometimes about people who don't see the world like we do.

[Anonymous]

.

Out of all my black square pink cooter hat posting friends, I know two that actually give their time to the causes they believe in.

This line put me out!!💀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think, to a large degree, the entire progressive thing is largely about image rather than substance, about being seen striking the right poses and signaling for the right causes rather than actually living anything out. It's what the late writer Tom Wolfe referred to as "radical chic."

Several years ago after a divorce, I (white lady, then late 30s, conservative) met a nice guy while I was out on girls night. He happened to be from Honduras. A week or so later at a social event at a progressive college friend’s house, another progressive friend, upon seeing his pic said something along the lines of “whoa…republican MyName, dating a Latino.” I said “first off, I’m conservative, to republican. There’s a difference. Secondly, what’s the big deal. He seems nice.”

In my head I’m thinking, I’m out-progressiving the progressives. They’re all white, living in an affluent part of town, married to other white people. I’m the one mentoring at-risk kids and (a few years later) was adopted as godmom to my daughter’s black bestie who is now just part of our family. Not trying to pat myself on the back. I’m just trying to be the person I’m supposed to be.

Acting shocked that your dating a Latino is a great example of how insular and ignorant progressives tend to be. They have some ridiculous caricatured image of conservatives in their heads that doesn't come close to matching the reality for most people, and because they frequently don't get out of their extremely sheltered bubble of group think, they don't have the opportunity to learn about other people from actual experience.

One of my progressive friends was talking about how her son was pansexual. This was a few years back and I'd not heard the term. She said "You would not understand because you're conservative." I asked her to explain it to me and it turns out, she could not, so it was not me who didn't understand. I get the general idea now but it illustrates the ridiculous notions we hold sometimes about people who don't see the world like we do.

That’s rich.