Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

DS: Rumi.

[Anonymous]

Is the parent of Hendrix and Juniper ever going to check back in? The internets need to know.

[Anonymous]

Mario

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what??? Harris Teeter is coming to Bethesda???

In the former Trillium site on Wisconsin ave north of Battery lane, but they are just going to do the site prep (blasting) this summer so it's a couple of years away (not that I am counting the months or anything).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rita
Joan

Rita and Joan were born to Jewish parents in Brooklyn in the 50's. Their grandma lived downstairs, and aunt& uncle lived down the block. They were best friends with two sisters who lived across the street, Barb and Carole, and often when the parents yelled out the window that it was dinnertime, the wrong little girls came in from playing in the street. Rita went to college and became a (non-sex) phone operator. She married Joel, and they had two children, Jill and Glen. Joan moved out to Jersey, married Steve, and they also had two chidlren - Robert and Audrey. Rita & Joan's mom moved in with Rita's family after her husband died, which Rita's husband did not like.

Wow, this is pretty accurate (true statements are in bold, although it was Rita, not Joan, who moved to Jersey). Good work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mario

your husband is a respectable lawyer and even suits up on occasion, but around the house, he's always in a wifebeater. You guys get along great and you'er pregnant with #2 - debating Miriam versus Mary - you like the way they'll rhyme with Mario. You're both Italian, have loads of family in jersey and are up there every 3 to 4 weeks for a party fo some kind. You love your family dearly and secretly wish you could move closer to them, but your husband loves his job and likes having a litle distance from your sisters, but he'd never say that out loud. Mario is very bright; you don't allow any television and only eat organic. He attends Montessori and he's doign really well, except for that biting incident last week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Connor
Rider

You live in a townhouse in Rockville. Your husband is a nurse in the Navy and you are proud of being a military wife (divorced), but you hate being so far from family and friends in Missouri. You have a blog where you post cute pics of your boys and occasionally post recipes that you think your sister would like. You are addicted to Facebook and DCUM and feel the need to compulsively check both sites multiple times a day. You worry about getting sent over seas and would rather have your husband deploy, than have to think about moving to a foreign country. You schedule family photos in early Fall and color coordinate outfits so they will be perfect for holiday cards in December. You are kind and helpful, especially to the elderly woman in the unit two doors down. You volunteer in your sons' classrooms and enjoy taking your kids to the movies, but you did not like the recent Oz movie. Your boys are a bit rambunctious, but respectful and they only occasionally bicker which is a relief since you and your sister fought like cats and dogs when you were growing up. You will do a road trip this summer to visit your husband's family in Kentucky and your family in Missouri, but you are really looking forward to the Thanksgiving trip to Orlando which will be a surprise for your kids.

You guys are so much fun! Bolded is accurate. Love hearing about my alternate-self!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Connor
Rider

You dress them in a lot of black after trying to stuff Connor into the "I'm a baby tennis pro which is why I wrap a sweater around my shoulders" box and it didn't fit. Both kids have mohawks and you put gel in their hair. You have a tramp stamp and another tattoo on the inside of your wrist. You like to think you're like a non-famous Gwen Stefani, with your rocker boys, except you can't sing for shit and are so busy not conforming to the khaki and sweater-set set that you wear ill-fitting low-riding jeans that show off your thong and tramp stamp. You don't want to be like the other moms, but want them to like you, but are convinced they don't, so carry a chip on your shoulder that makes them dislike you, validating your fears. Honestly, you're kind of a mess. DH thinks you only smoke weed when he does, which is like 4 times a year, but really you smoke more like 3 times a week. Once, you went down on your pot dealer, who grows in his second bathroom. You're butt-hurt that your pot dealer has a house with a second bathroom while you are forced to clean up pee stains. This is not how you meant for life to turn out, but you're not sure where you went wrong. You buy Connor and Rider Razr scooters and skateboards and dirt bikes because you don't want them to conform to the area by playing travel soccer.

DH is a genuinely cool guy, very involved father, who loves the girl he met and married. He is in IT, and wants to sign Connor up for ice hockey, but you won't let him, concerned Connor will get an injury on his face which would be a problem because for the last 3 years you've been saying you want to get him into modeling. DH knows you're a little sad and a little lost (and suspects about the pot use) but doesn't know what to do to help you besides always putting the seat back down, and making dinner when he gets home from work. A woman from work came on to him last year, and he rebuffed her, citing his love and committment to you, and managed to maintain a good working relationship with her. It's exactly that type of scenario that makes him so awesome, and you feel bad you're not as equally awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mario

your husband is a respectable lawyer and even suits up on occasion, but around the house, he's always in a wifebeater. You guys get along great and you'er pregnant with #2 - debating Miriam versus Mary - you like the way they'll rhyme with Mario. You're both Italian, have loads of family in jersey and are up there every 3 to 4 weeks for a party fo some kind. You love your family dearly and secretly wish you could move closer to them, but your husband loves his job and likes having a litle distance from your sisters, but he'd never say that out loud. Mario is very bright; you don't allow any television and only eat organic. He attends Montessori and he's doign really well, except for that biting incident last week.

Lol.
Bolded part is the accurate bit. I do occasionally threaten to have another and name him Luigi if he doesn't shape up. Guy I get along great with is actually my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kymberly
Alexandria (Alex)
Isabell

You had Kymberly when you were in your first year of college. Your name is Jennifer and you wanted your daughter to have a more unique name, but you now regret the spelling and wish you had listened to the nurse when she recommended that you keep the more traditional spelling. With the help of your parents, you worked hard to juggle the demands of single parenthood and college, but after six long years you eventually graduated and started working as a accountant at a construction company. When Kymberly was in second grade, you met your husband through work. You quickly married and it took a little while for Kymberly to adjust to having a step-father, but she was very excited when you became pregnant with Alex. All of your girls are petite, but strong. Kymberly is now in high school and plays on a travel soccer team. Alex also loves soccer and Isabell demonstrates tremendous talent for gymnastics and her coach is pushing you put her on the competitive track. Your husband, who is five years younger than you, keeps nagging you to think about having one more baby. You know he wishes he had a son, but having a baby is the last thing on your mind. You are worried about your parents and their declining health. Your boss is controlling and work has become a major source of stress. Your house in the burbs is comfortable and you enjoy having a neighborhood pool, but you hate the catty neighbors and wish you had a more friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:55 pages and I haven't seen my son's name yet: Theodore. (Not sure what we will name the second, DH likes Colette and I like Josephine for a girl, no clue for a boy.)

Your husband is a slight and flinchy man. He weighs 125 lbs soaking wet. He works as an accountant and writes peevish emails to the neighborhood listserv. You're taller than him, and overweight. You think of yourself as confident and outgoing, but most people see you as brash and overbearing. You've got a nasty streak that you try to hide, but not very well. You love to gossip with your husband about work and other parents at your charter school, which is Inspired Teaching or Mundo Verde. Both you and your husband put a lot of energy into your careers, though neither of you realizes that you're not on the advancement track. This is especially sad because the energy you spend on work comes at Theo's expense. He's a sickly child with deep set eyes. He has asthma and a nearly constant runny nose. You think you're being liberal and teaching him responsibility by letting him choose his own clothes at 8 years old and making him responsible for washing them and his own showers. In reality this means he is usually dressed in mismatched, grubby clothes that smell vaguely of pee.

Downer!

I call em like I see em.

Really? That's what you got from Theodore and Colette/Josephine? Seriously. Such a downer.

Theodore's mom here, this is funny, you would be very surprised if you actually met us. I'm 5'8" and I am the one who is 125 pounds soaking wet, but who knows, that might be considered overweight to the DCUM people! DH is 6'2". Theodore is happy blonde/blue eyed kid who is usually dressed in Janie and Jack thanks to his grandparents. We plan on private school, I don't even know the charter schools you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Tara

[Anonymous]

Skye
Mila

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the PP's Theodor/Collete/joesphine and I offer you another version (hope I'm accurate).

You are both academics who met in grad school. You studied philosophy and he studied history - you are now based teaching undergrads at separate, but equally good (well, yours is a smidge better, but you don't mention it to DH), universities in the area and you really like the DC area. You're up for tenure in another 3 years and this keeps you up at night. On weekends, Theodore (no nicknames, please!), has swimming class, language immersion, and you visit at least one museum per weekend. You are smart fun people and live in a small house in tenlyetown/AU park. You like having people over andwell-liked by the other preschool moms.

[Anonymous]

Milo
Eliot
Emmet