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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Connor 
Rider[/quote]

You dress them in a lot of black after trying to stuff Connor into the "I'm a baby tennis pro which is why I wrap a sweater around my shoulders" box and it didn't fit. Both kids have mohawks and  you put gel in their hair. You have a tramp stamp and another tattoo on the inside of your wrist. You like to think you're like a non-famous Gwen Stefani, with your rocker boys, except you can't sing for shit and are so busy not conforming to the khaki and sweater-set set that you wear ill-fitting low-riding jeans that show off your thong and tramp stamp. You don't want to be like the other moms, but want them to like  you, but are convinced they don't, so carry a chip on your shoulder that makes them dislike you, validating your fears. Honestly, you're kind of a mess. DH thinks you only smoke weed when he does, which is like 4 times a year, but really you smoke more like 3 times a week. Once, you went down on your pot dealer, who grows in his second bathroom. You're butt-hurt that your pot dealer has a house with a second bathroom while you are forced to clean up pee stains. This is not how you meant for life to turn out, but you're not sure where you went wrong. You buy Connor and Rider Razr scooters and skateboards and dirt bikes because you don't want them to conform to the area by playing travel soccer.

DH is a genuinely cool guy, very involved father, who loves the girl he met and married. He is in IT, and wants to sign Connor up for ice hockey, but you won't let him, concerned Connor will get an injury on his face which would be a problem because for the last 3 years you've been saying you want to get him into modeling. DH knows you're a little sad and a little lost (and suspects about the pot use) but doesn't know what to do to help you besides always putting the seat back down, and making dinner when he gets home from work. A woman from work came on to him last year, and he rebuffed her, citing his love and committment to you, and managed to maintain a good working relationship with her. It's exactly that type of scenario that makes him so awesome, and  you feel bad  you're not as equally awesome. [/quote]

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