Is 4 months too young to send baby to daycare?

[Anonymous]

This was forever ago, and times have certainly changed, but my plan was 4 mos; got to 4 mos and wasn't happy with the care options, so negotiated a year off; by the end of the year, I was a completely different person, and the situation I would have been reurning to was also very different and a bit like starting over just when I needed to be able to get home on time, not start putting in extra hours to reset my career. So I resigned. I never went back. No regrets.

So, she's not wrong. If she really wants to return, she probably should do it sooner.

[Anonymous]

If you make $250k get a nanny.

She might only make 40k now but if she sits out of the workforce she will go zero, and will have to restart at 40k in the future, which is not helping her earning potential. This should have been discussed a long time ago, but at this point you can't veto her decision and force her to stay home

[Anonymous]

"My wife only earns $40,000 a year so I am entitled to unilaterally steal all of her career advancement and income potential for a year because low earning people are not humans. Something is wrong with my wife appliance, she wants to go to work instead of get barfed on for $0 an hour. Sometimes when I come home, she actually even looks tired and the house is in a disarray even though she didn't work a single hour all day."

-average modern male

[Anonymous]

Yeah, send your 4-month-old to daycare. She's gonna love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, send your 4-month-old to daycare. She's gonna love it.

I feel like you are probably being sarcastic but lots of babies at that age really enjoy daycare. I know that sounds hard to believe but a lot of us with actual experience sending babies to daycare were pleasantly surprised. That age is great because they don't usually have trouble separating from the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is daycare 1500 dollars a month?

In-homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally hear you on the career anxiety—it’s not just about the $40k; it’s about the 'on-ramp' back into a team she loves. But as a dad in D.C. with a newborn (born March 14!) and a toddler, I can tell you that the 'daycare vs. career' choice isn't the only move on the board.

If you’re worried about 4 months being too young for a center (which is a totally valid concern regarding ratios and germs), have you looked into the Au Pair route? It might be the perfect 'middle ground' for your specific situation.

Why it might solve your dilemma:

Career Security: Your wife can go back to work at 4 months as planned, keeping her job and seniority.

Developmental Peace of Mind: Instead of a 1:4 ratio at a daycare, your daughter gets 1-on-1 care in her own home. You avoid the 'constant daycare sickness' for at least the first year.

The 'Work-from-Home' Bonus: Since you have a high income, I’m guessing one or both of you might WFH occasionally. Having an au pair means you can 'pop in' for a snuggle at lunch, which you can't do with daycare.

The Math: I’m a bit of a data nerd, and in the D.C. area, Cultural Care has a $1,000 regional promo right now that actually stacks with a $250 referral credit ($1,250 total off). The all-in cost for an au pair is often comparable to D.C. daycare once you factor in the $1,500/mo tuition + the 'hidden' costs of taking off work when the baby gets sick.

The $1k D.C. promo ends April 30, so if you’re looking to lock in care for later this year, it’s a great window. If you want a referral link for that extra $250 credit, feel free to use ours: https://www.culturalcare.com/refer/?referralId=AD37D4FD

It might be the easiest way to support your wife’s career goals without feeling like you’re compromising on the 1-on-1 care you want for your daughter at such a young age.

Wow you really want that referral bonus, don’t you?

🤢
We tried cultural care au pairs and they were the WORST childcare option we ever had. These girls are lured into these au pair jobs with promises of fun and adventure. Look at their hiring ads, not just the ads they send out to families. The advertising is polar opposite. Families, they tell you you’re getting innocent young adults who will gladly nurture your children. Au pairs, they tell you you’re getting minimal hours and lots of time to party. The result is that these 19-21-yos arrive and want to party. They were all like having a foster teenager, and all caused one disaster after another. Lost the $$$$ cell phones we were expected to buy for them. Crashed our car. Left our toddler children unattended in malls. Refused to do even their own laundry. Total nightmare!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally hear you on the career anxiety—it’s not just about the $40k; it’s about the 'on-ramp' back into a team she loves. But as a dad in D.C. with a newborn (born March 14!) and a toddler, I can tell you that the 'daycare vs. career' choice isn't the only move on the board.

If you’re worried about 4 months being too young for a center (which is a totally valid concern regarding ratios and germs), have you looked into the Au Pair route? It might be the perfect 'middle ground' for your specific situation.

Why it might solve your dilemma:

Career Security: Your wife can go back to work at 4 months as planned, keeping her job and seniority.

Developmental Peace of Mind: Instead of a 1:4 ratio at a daycare, your daughter gets 1-on-1 care in her own home. You avoid the 'constant daycare sickness' for at least the first year.

The 'Work-from-Home' Bonus: Since you have a high income, I’m guessing one or both of you might WFH occasionally. Having an au pair means you can 'pop in' for a snuggle at lunch, which you can't do with daycare.

The Math: I’m a bit of a data nerd, and in the D.C. area, Cultural Care has a $1,000 regional promo right now that actually stacks with a $250 referral credit ($1,250 total off). The all-in cost for an au pair is often comparable to D.C. daycare once you factor in the $1,500/mo tuition + the 'hidden' costs of taking off work when the baby gets sick.

The $1k D.C. promo ends April 30, so if you’re looking to lock in care for later this year, it’s a great window. If you want a referral link for that extra $250 credit, feel free to use ours: https://www.culturalcare.com/refer/?referralId=AD37D4FD

It might be the easiest way to support your wife’s career goals without feeling like you’re compromising on the 1-on-1 care you want for your daughter at such a young age.

Wow you really want that referral bonus, don’t you?

🤢
We tried cultural care au pairs and they were the WORST childcare option we ever had. These girls are lured into these au pair jobs with promises of fun and adventure. Look at their hiring ads, not just the ads they send out to families. The advertising is polar opposite. Families, they tell you you’re getting innocent young adults who will gladly nurture your children. Au pairs, they tell you you’re getting minimal hours and lots of time to party. The result is that these 19-21-yos arrive and want to party. They were all like having a foster teenager, and all caused one disaster after another. Lost the $$$$ cell phones we were expected to buy for them. Crashed our car. Left our toddler children unattended in malls. Refused to do even their own laundry. Total nightmare!

I thought they were were older kids. It never would have occurred to me to leave a baby with a 19 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife wants to send our child to daycare at 4 months so that she can go back to work. If she waits an entire year she’s worried they won’t hold the job for her and she’ll have to start over again, and she likes her team. She works in education administration earning around 40k/yr. I make 250k. So we don’t depend on her salary and most would be eaten up by daycare costs, which would be about $1500/month in our area for an in home daycare. I’m okay with daycare but worry that 4 months is too young for our daughter as I’ve seen most advice suggest starting at the 1 year mark.

Interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this.

Some babies are sent to daycare practically from birth.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know any educational administrator who only makes $40,000. Are you a troll?

[Anonymous]

Considering that even FMLA only gives new mothers about 3 months of leave…. Yeah, most daycares have tons of babies under age 4 months. Are you new to America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any educational administrator who only makes $40,000. Are you a troll?

Dp. That could be a real figure. Many educational admin do make 40k. The term describes a wide range of jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Considering that even FMLA only gives new parents about 3 months of leave…. Yeah, most daycares have tons of babies under age 4 months. Are you new to America?

FIFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife wants to send our child to daycare at 4 months so that she can go back to work. If she waits an entire year she’s worried they won’t hold the job for her and she’ll have to start over again, and she likes her team. She works in education administration earning around 40k/yr. I make 250k. So we don’t depend on her salary and most would be eaten up by daycare costs, which would be about $1500/month in our area for an in home daycare. I’m okay with daycare but worry that 4 months is too young for our daughter as I’ve seen most advice suggest starting at the 1 year mark.

Interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this.

Babies left in strange places with strange people feel abandoned. They simply can’t understand that it’s only for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife wants to send our child to daycare at 4 months so that she can go back to work. If she waits an entire year she’s worried they won’t hold the job for her and she’ll have to start over again, and she likes her team. She works in education administration earning around 40k/yr. I make 250k. So we don’t depend on her salary and most would be eaten up by daycare costs, which would be about $1500/month in our area for an in home daycare. I’m okay with daycare but worry that 4 months is too young for our daughter as I’ve seen most advice suggest starting at the 1 year mark.

Interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this.

Babies left in strange places with strange people feel abandoned. They simply can’t understand that it’s only for the day.

Who taught you that?