One Night Stands in Youth = Infidelity in Marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If an individual had double digit one night stands while young and single, do you think that increases the likelihood of infidelity during marriage?

It may just be correlation, not causation, but I could see how someone who is willing/wants to have multiple one-night stands is probably someone for whom sex is relatively meaningless from an emotional perspective. So in that vein, I could see how someone who felt that way would be more likely to cheat because in their mind sex can be something that doesn't mean anything.

On the other hand, someone who had a lot of one-night stands may also have sown their oats enough to want to be monogamous once they get married. But I think the former is more likely than the latter.

Of course it is. Those having multiple ONS are doing it because they like it.

I didn't stop drinking beer as an adult because I drank a lot of it in college.

Duhhhhh, of course we like it. That's the WHOLE point. But most of us are married and have regular, fulfilling sex with our spouses. How is this hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If an individual had double digit one night stands while young and single, do you think that increases the likelihood of infidelity during marriage?

It may just be correlation, not causation, but I could see how someone who is willing/wants to have multiple one-night stands is probably someone for whom sex is relatively meaningless from an emotional perspective. So in that vein, I could see how someone who felt that way would be more likely to cheat because in their mind sex can be something that doesn't mean anything.

On the other hand, someone who had a lot of one-night stands may also have sown their oats enough to want to be monogamous once they get married. But I think the former is more likely than the latter.

Of course it is. Those having multiple ONS are doing it because they like it.

I didn't stop drinking beer as an adult because I drank a lot of it in college.

Duhhhhh, of course we like it. That's the WHOLE point. But most of us are married and have regular, fulfilling sex with our spouses. How is this hard to understand?

Good, we agree. The notion that women who had multiple ONS in their 20s would never have one in their 40s is bogus af. You don't stop doing something you like because you did it before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If an individual had double digit one night stands while young and single, do you think that increases the likelihood of infidelity during marriage?

It may just be correlation, not causation, but I could see how someone who is willing/wants to have multiple one-night stands is probably someone for whom sex is relatively meaningless from an emotional perspective. So in that vein, I could see how someone who felt that way would be more likely to cheat because in their mind sex can be something that doesn't mean anything.

On the other hand, someone who had a lot of one-night stands may also have sown their oats enough to want to be monogamous once they get married. But I think the former is more likely than the latter.

Of course it is. Those having multiple ONS are doing it because they like it.

I didn't stop drinking beer as an adult because I drank a lot of it in college.

Duhhhhh, of course we like it. That's the WHOLE point. But most of us are married and have regular, fulfilling sex with our spouses. How is this hard to understand?

Good, we agree. The notion that women who had multiple ONS in their 20s would never have one in their 40s is bogus af. You don't stop doing something you like because you did it before.

I thought I just said I didn't stop having sex. I just choose to have sex with one man I love and I am committed to? Again, why are you confused?

[Anonymous]

Good, we agree. The notion that women who had multiple ONS in their 20s would never have one in their 40s is bogus af. You don't stop doing something you like because you did it before.

I thought I just said I didn't stop having sex. I just choose to have sex with one man I love and I am committed to? Again, why are you confused?

DP. Having multiple ONS is different than having sex in the context of a committed relationship.

With the former, you are having sex with many partners. With the latter, you are not.

Because you had multiple ONS in your 20s does not mean you will have them in 40s. It just means you had multiple ONS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Good, we agree. The notion that women who had multiple ONS in their 20s would never have one in their 40s is bogus af. You don't stop doing something you like because you did it before.

I thought I just said I didn't stop having sex. I just choose to have sex with one man I love and I am committed to? Again, why are you confused?

DP. Having multiple ONS is different than having sex in the context of a committed relationship.

With the former, you are having sex with many partners. With the latter, you are not.

Because you had multiple ONS in your 20s does not mean you will have them in 40s. It just means you had multiple ONS.

Exactly. It's like the PP thinks we're all addicted to ONSs like he is to beer. Dumb analogy anyway you look at it.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. It's like the PP thinks we're all addicted to ONSs like he is to beer. Dumb analogy anyway you look at it

And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Exactly. It's like the PP thinks we're all addicted to ONSs like he is to beer. Dumb analogy anyway you look at it

And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons.

Again, who said they aren't? Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing?

I did a lot of things differently when I was 19, 20, 21. Doesn't mean I would do them now. For example, back then I didn't have a husband that I promised to be faithful to. Today I do. Hence, I choose not to have sex with anyone other than him. Are you under the impression that I can't control who and when I sleep with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Good, we agree. The notion that women who had multiple ONS in their 20s would never have one in their 40s is bogus af. You don't stop doing something you like because you did it before.

I thought I just said I didn't stop having sex. I just choose to have sex with one man I love and I am committed to? Again, why are you confused?

DP. Having multiple ONS is different than having sex in the context of a committed relationship.

With the former, you are having sex with many partners. With the latter, you are not.

Because you had multiple ONS in your 20s does not mean you will have them in 40s. It just means you had multiple ONS.

Exactly. It's like the PP thinks we're all addicted to ONSs like he is to beer. Dumb analogy anyway you look at it.

So you were unable to find a guy in your 20s who was willing to sleep with you regulary and be in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually opposite - dorks who couldn’t get laid when they were young act out a lot more / “want to explore” once they get some money and more confidence.

This was my XH

[Anonymous]

Again, who said they aren't? Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing? I did a lot of things differently when I was 19, 20, 21. Doesn't mean I would do them now. For example, back then I didn't have a husband that I promised to be faithful to. Today I do. Hence, I choose not to have sex with anyone other than him. Are you under the impression that I can't control who and when I sleep with?

You would do so much more to make your point if you could learn to react calmly to what a poster has written.

I only posted "And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons." You flew off the handle (Are you arguing for the sake of arguing?) and then asked if I was under the impression that you cannot control yourself?

What you ask such a question? Candidly, based on your temper, you do seem to have a problem controlling yourself.

That does not mean you cannot control yourself in every aspect of your life. However, it does indicate you need to take time to react appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, who said they aren't? Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing? I did a lot of things differently when I was 19, 20, 21. Doesn't mean I would do them now. For example, back then I didn't have a husband that I promised to be faithful to. Today I do. Hence, I choose not to have sex with anyone other than him. Are you under the impression that I can't control who and when I sleep with?

You would do so much more to make your point if you could learn to react calmly to what a poster has written.

I only posted "And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons." You flew off the handle (Are you arguing for the sake of arguing?) and then asked if I was under the impression that you cannot control yourself?

What you ask such a question? Candidly, based on your temper, you do seem to have a problem controlling yourself.

That does not mean you cannot control yourself in every aspect of your life. However, it does indicate you need to take time to react appropriately.

Awww poor baby. You have nothing left so you have to invent my temper problems. You were a sad loser who couldn’t get laid back then, and you still can’t, and that has nothing to do with me.

[Anonymous]

I didn't sleep around much in early twenties due to being duped into marriage by dud exdh. More than made up for it in my thirties and forties though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Exactly. It's like the PP thinks we're all addicted to ONSs like he is to beer. Dumb analogy anyway you look at it

And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons.

Again, who said they aren't? Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing?

I did a lot of things differently when I was 19, 20, 21. Doesn't mean I would do them now. For example, back then I didn't have a husband that I promised to be faithful to. Today I do. Hence, I choose not to have sex with anyone other than him. Are you under the impression that I can't control who and when I sleep with?

That's exactly what he's saying, because he's projecting his own insecurities onto you. He has no choice in picking who to F, he's at the mercy of whatever woman spares a side glance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Again, who said they aren't? Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing?

I did a lot of things differently when I was 19, 20, 21. Doesn't mean I would do them now. For example, back then I didn't have a husband that I promised to be faithful to. Today I do. Hence, I choose not to have sex with anyone other than him. Are you under the impression that I can't control who and when I sleep with?

You would do so much more to make your point if you could learn to react calmly to what a poster has written.

I only posted "And multiple ONS are different than sex in a committed relationship, for any number of reasons." You flew off the handle (Are you arguing for the sake of arguing?) and then asked if I was under the impression that you cannot control yourself?

What you ask such a question? Candidly, based on your temper, you do seem to have a problem controlling yourself.

That does not mean you cannot control yourself in every aspect of your life. However, it does indicate you need to take time to react appropriately.

On what planet does anyone consider the question "are you arguing for the sake of arguing?" as flying off the handle? Put down the crack, man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

Thankfully, your issues have been thoroughly “run through”, since you can’t even talk about it with a potential partner. Wanting to know someone’s past doesn’t necessarily mean judgement, but you are obviously judging from the start.

If asking for curiosity sake, sure. But if the answer defines if you'll be in a relationship with someone then clearly it is a judgement. Don't try to play coy.