One Night Stands in Youth = Infidelity in Marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is and it totally I’m sure there’s people with a high body count that are not unfaithful.

But many people with high body count are bipolar, victims of sexual abuse, have complex PTSD, are sex addicts, etc.

So yes, there’s gonna be a correlation between high body count and infidelity, but it’s because of the underlying condition not because they were a ho.

This is such total and utter horseshit that I am left speechless.

No, it isn’t. If you look at the rate of infidelity for people who are bipolar it’s like 80%.. if you look at infidelity for people who are sex addicts it’s in the 90s.

If you look at infidelity in general, most people have some sort of mental disorder.

Keep making shit up. It's highly entertaining yet no one will ever take you seriously.

There is in fact research showing that promiscuous people have lower relationship Satisfaction rates in marriage


https://spark.bethel.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1005&context=psychology-students#:~:text=Adults%20who%20are%20more%20promiscuous%20are%20more,trust%20in%20their%20partner%2C%20and%20shorter%20marriages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231913405_Promiscuity_in_an_evolved_pair-bonding_system_Mating_within_and_outside_the_Pleistocene_box

And several evolutionary studies that correlate fidelity particular female to pair bonding and departure from promiscuity

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382477/


What’s not proven however is the causation: is pair bonding affected by promiscuity or the individuals are incapable of pair bonding due to some personality traits .

I double majored in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and minored in biological anthropology. Did you actually read your citations?

Your first citation is a student poster project for a Psychology 202 class at a Christian university, not a peer-reviewed journal article. More importantly, it doesn't even measure what it's claiming to measure. The title mentions "marital satisfaction," but what they actually looked at was:

1. Sexual partners vs. trust in partner
2. Cohabitation vs. marriage length
3. Sexual partners vs. marriage length, filtered by religious importance

They never directly measured marital satisfaction as its own thing.

Additionally, the association between number of sexual partners and length of marriage has obvious confounds. If you compare two 40-year-olds - one married at 20, one at 30 - the first person will show both fewer lifetime partners (only had 20 years to date before marriage vs. 30 years) AND a longer current marriage (20 years vs. 10 years). This correlation exists purely because of when they got married, not because having fewer partners caused the marriage to last longer.

Your second citation is a theoretical commentary proposing an evolutionary framework, not an empirical study of relationships or marriage outcomes. It has zero data on sexual partners, zero measures of marital satisfaction, and zero analysis of relationship outcomes. Using it as evidence about marriage or bonding is a total misapplication.

In fact, it argues the opposite of what you're claiming. Look at the diagram on page 4 - it shows dating and sexual exploration as normal parts of how pair bonding works:

1. First comes attraction and sexual motivation
2. Then partner preference develops through romantic/sexual interaction (eg, "pre-marital sex" or "promiscuity")
3. Only after this do attachment and long-term pair-bond form

The model treats multiple partners as part of a bonding-oriented system, NOT as behaviors that damage or bypass bonding mechanisms. If anything, it supports the opposite: that sexual and romantic exploration precede and facilitate attachment rather than prevent it.

Your third citation is also not an empirical study and does not show any real-world correlation between female fidelity, promiscuity, or pair-bonding outcomes. It's a mathematical model about how populations might evolve from promiscuous mating to pair bonding.

The model actually *starts* with a promiscuous population and explains how pair bonding can emerge from that state. So it does not support the idea that promiscuity is incompatible with bonding; it models bonding as something that can emerge out of promiscuity, not in opposition to it.

And even if we accept that female fidelity helped pair bonding evolve at the population level historically, that doesn't tell us whether individuals who have explored sexually can't form pair bonds. That topic is not addressed in this paper at all.

Your error in logic is:

1. The model shows pair bonding could evolve when females stayed faithful within established pair bonds (at a population level, over evolutionary time)
2. Humans did evolve pair bonding
3. Therefore, you're concluding that individual females today shouldn't engage in sexual exploration before establishing a long-term pair bond

You're misreading what fidelity means here. The model is about staying with an established partner (not leaving them for other mates once paired). It's not about avoiding all sexual activity before pair bonding happens in the first place. Those are completely different things.

And I'm not even touching the fact that people are jumping from marital infidelity, to marriage satisfaction, to pair bonding, as if they’re the same. They aren’t. You can cheat and still be bonded. You can be bonded and unhappy. You can be faithful and emotionally detached.

As a general rule, it's a good idea to stay away from any evolutionary claims about how people "should" behave sexually or that men are X, women are Y. As was demonstrated here, most of these people do not know how to read a scientific paper, or even vet for what is a peer-reviewed paper.

Humans evolved flexible mating strategies that adapt based on environment, culture, and individual circumstances. While there may be *average* sex differences, the overlap between men and women is enormous.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate. Evolutionary biology explains why certain traits exist and how they might have been useful in our ancestral past. It does NOT tell us whether specific behaviors are healthy, moral, or predictive of relationship success today. And in fact, behavior is meant to be quite flexible so that individuals can adapt quickly.

What's actually useful isn't prescribing behavior based on theoretical models; it's looking at ourselves as individuals and figuring out what brings us relationship satisfaction.

Funny, the research regarding what brings people satisfaction in life and relationships reaches the same conclusions as the initially posted research.

You want things to be a certain way, but they aren’t.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.

Correct! Guess what, rape is “natural”, as is slavery. But I bet you won’t post pages of pseudoscience screeds defending these behaviors. Why not?

Do you understand the concept of consent?

Do you?

The consent model has been around for maybe 50 years of human history.

You claim to be a social scientist but apparently are unfamiliar with the concept of recency bias.

Comparing consensual sexual encounters today with rape and slavery is pure lunacy. Especially in the context in which this dumb post was started in the first place. I didn’t claim to be anything. Lots of people are commenting on your dumb posts. Recency bias? 😂😂😂 I live today, not 500 years ago.

One would expect that someone who is boasting about their credentials in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and biological anthropology could discuss these topics fluently. Or at least support their assertion that “ There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.”

Apparently not the case with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is and it totally I’m sure there’s people with a high body count that are not unfaithful.

But many people with high body count are bipolar, victims of sexual abuse, have complex PTSD, are sex addicts, etc.

So yes, there’s gonna be a correlation between high body count and infidelity, but it’s because of the underlying condition not because they were a ho.

This is such total and utter horseshit that I am left speechless.

No, it isn’t. If you look at the rate of infidelity for people who are bipolar it’s like 80%.. if you look at infidelity for people who are sex addicts it’s in the 90s.

If you look at infidelity in general, most people have some sort of mental disorder.

Keep making shit up. It's highly entertaining yet no one will ever take you seriously.

There is in fact research showing that promiscuous people have lower relationship Satisfaction rates in marriage


https://spark.bethel.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1005&context=psychology-students#:~:text=Adults%20who%20are%20more%20promiscuous%20are%20more,trust%20in%20their%20partner%2C%20and%20shorter%20marriages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231913405_Promiscuity_in_an_evolved_pair-bonding_system_Mating_within_and_outside_the_Pleistocene_box

And several evolutionary studies that correlate fidelity particular female to pair bonding and departure from promiscuity

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382477/


What’s not proven however is the causation: is pair bonding affected by promiscuity or the individuals are incapable of pair bonding due to some personality traits .

I double majored in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and minored in biological anthropology. Did you actually read your citations?

Your first citation is a student poster project for a Psychology 202 class at a Christian university, not a peer-reviewed journal article. More importantly, it doesn't even measure what it's claiming to measure. The title mentions "marital satisfaction," but what they actually looked at was:

1. Sexual partners vs. trust in partner
2. Cohabitation vs. marriage length
3. Sexual partners vs. marriage length, filtered by religious importance

They never directly measured marital satisfaction as its own thing.

Additionally, the association between number of sexual partners and length of marriage has obvious confounds. If you compare two 40-year-olds - one married at 20, one at 30 - the first person will show both fewer lifetime partners (only had 20 years to date before marriage vs. 30 years) AND a longer current marriage (20 years vs. 10 years). This correlation exists purely because of when they got married, not because having fewer partners caused the marriage to last longer.

Your second citation is a theoretical commentary proposing an evolutionary framework, not an empirical study of relationships or marriage outcomes. It has zero data on sexual partners, zero measures of marital satisfaction, and zero analysis of relationship outcomes. Using it as evidence about marriage or bonding is a total misapplication.

In fact, it argues the opposite of what you're claiming. Look at the diagram on page 4 - it shows dating and sexual exploration as normal parts of how pair bonding works:

1. First comes attraction and sexual motivation
2. Then partner preference develops through romantic/sexual interaction (eg, "pre-marital sex" or "promiscuity")
3. Only after this do attachment and long-term pair-bond form

The model treats multiple partners as part of a bonding-oriented system, NOT as behaviors that damage or bypass bonding mechanisms. If anything, it supports the opposite: that sexual and romantic exploration precede and facilitate attachment rather than prevent it.

Your third citation is also not an empirical study and does not show any real-world correlation between female fidelity, promiscuity, or pair-bonding outcomes. It's a mathematical model about how populations might evolve from promiscuous mating to pair bonding.

The model actually *starts* with a promiscuous population and explains how pair bonding can emerge from that state. So it does not support the idea that promiscuity is incompatible with bonding; it models bonding as something that can emerge out of promiscuity, not in opposition to it.

And even if we accept that female fidelity helped pair bonding evolve at the population level historically, that doesn't tell us whether individuals who have explored sexually can't form pair bonds. That topic is not addressed in this paper at all.

Your error in logic is:

1. The model shows pair bonding could evolve when females stayed faithful within established pair bonds (at a population level, over evolutionary time)
2. Humans did evolve pair bonding
3. Therefore, you're concluding that individual females today shouldn't engage in sexual exploration before establishing a long-term pair bond

You're misreading what fidelity means here. The model is about staying with an established partner (not leaving them for other mates once paired). It's not about avoiding all sexual activity before pair bonding happens in the first place. Those are completely different things.

And I'm not even touching the fact that people are jumping from marital infidelity, to marriage satisfaction, to pair bonding, as if they’re the same. They aren’t. You can cheat and still be bonded. You can be bonded and unhappy. You can be faithful and emotionally detached.

As a general rule, it's a good idea to stay away from any evolutionary claims about how people "should" behave sexually or that men are X, women are Y. As was demonstrated here, most of these people do not know how to read a scientific paper, or even vet for what is a peer-reviewed paper.

Humans evolved flexible mating strategies that adapt based on environment, culture, and individual circumstances. While there may be *average* sex differences, the overlap between men and women is enormous.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate. Evolutionary biology explains why certain traits exist and how they might have been useful in our ancestral past. It does NOT tell us whether specific behaviors are healthy, moral, or predictive of relationship success today. And in fact, behavior is meant to be quite flexible so that individuals can adapt quickly.

What's actually useful isn't prescribing behavior based on theoretical models; it's looking at ourselves as individuals and figuring out what brings us relationship satisfaction.

Funny, the research regarding what brings people satisfaction in life and relationships reaches the same conclusions as the initially posted research.

You want things to be a certain way, but they aren’t.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.

Correct! Guess what, rape is “natural”, as is slavery. But I bet you won’t post pages of pseudoscience screeds defending these behaviors. Why not?

Do you understand the concept of consent?

Do you?

The consent model has been around for maybe 50 years of human history.

You claim to be a social scientist but apparently are unfamiliar with the concept of recency bias.

Comparing consensual sexual encounters today with rape and slavery is pure lunacy. Especially in the context in which this dumb post was started in the first place. I didn’t claim to be anything. Lots of people are commenting on your dumb posts. Recency bias? 😂😂😂 I live today, not 500 years ago.

One would expect that someone who is boasting about their credentials in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and biological anthropology could discuss these topics fluently. Or at least support their assertion that “ There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.”

Apparently not the case with you.

Not surprising that someone like you can’t read or comprehend. That is not me. You are talking to two different people (or more).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is and it totally I’m sure there’s people with a high body count that are not unfaithful.

But many people with high body count are bipolar, victims of sexual abuse, have complex PTSD, are sex addicts, etc.

So yes, there’s gonna be a correlation between high body count and infidelity, but it’s because of the underlying condition not because they were a ho.

This is such total and utter horseshit that I am left speechless.

No, it isn’t. If you look at the rate of infidelity for people who are bipolar it’s like 80%.. if you look at infidelity for people who are sex addicts it’s in the 90s.

If you look at infidelity in general, most people have some sort of mental disorder.

Keep making shit up. It's highly entertaining yet no one will ever take you seriously.

There is in fact research showing that promiscuous people have lower relationship Satisfaction rates in marriage


https://spark.bethel.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1005&context=psychology-students#:~:text=Adults%20who%20are%20more%20promiscuous%20are%20more,trust%20in%20their%20partner%2C%20and%20shorter%20marriages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231913405_Promiscuity_in_an_evolved_pair-bonding_system_Mating_within_and_outside_the_Pleistocene_box

And several evolutionary studies that correlate fidelity particular female to pair bonding and departure from promiscuity

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382477/


What’s not proven however is the causation: is pair bonding affected by promiscuity or the individuals are incapable of pair bonding due to some personality traits .

I double majored in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and minored in biological anthropology. Did you actually read your citations?

Your first citation is a student poster project for a Psychology 202 class at a Christian university, not a peer-reviewed journal article. More importantly, it doesn't even measure what it's claiming to measure. The title mentions "marital satisfaction," but what they actually looked at was:

1. Sexual partners vs. trust in partner
2. Cohabitation vs. marriage length
3. Sexual partners vs. marriage length, filtered by religious importance

They never directly measured marital satisfaction as its own thing.

Additionally, the association between number of sexual partners and length of marriage has obvious confounds. If you compare two 40-year-olds - one married at 20, one at 30 - the first person will show both fewer lifetime partners (only had 20 years to date before marriage vs. 30 years) AND a longer current marriage (20 years vs. 10 years). This correlation exists purely because of when they got married, not because having fewer partners caused the marriage to last longer.

Your second citation is a theoretical commentary proposing an evolutionary framework, not an empirical study of relationships or marriage outcomes. It has zero data on sexual partners, zero measures of marital satisfaction, and zero analysis of relationship outcomes. Using it as evidence about marriage or bonding is a total misapplication.

In fact, it argues the opposite of what you're claiming. Look at the diagram on page 4 - it shows dating and sexual exploration as normal parts of how pair bonding works:

1. First comes attraction and sexual motivation
2. Then partner preference develops through romantic/sexual interaction (eg, "pre-marital sex" or "promiscuity")
3. Only after this do attachment and long-term pair-bond form

The model treats multiple partners as part of a bonding-oriented system, NOT as behaviors that damage or bypass bonding mechanisms. If anything, it supports the opposite: that sexual and romantic exploration precede and facilitate attachment rather than prevent it.

Your third citation is also not an empirical study and does not show any real-world correlation between female fidelity, promiscuity, or pair-bonding outcomes. It's a mathematical model about how populations might evolve from promiscuous mating to pair bonding.

The model actually *starts* with a promiscuous population and explains how pair bonding can emerge from that state. So it does not support the idea that promiscuity is incompatible with bonding; it models bonding as something that can emerge out of promiscuity, not in opposition to it.

And even if we accept that female fidelity helped pair bonding evolve at the population level historically, that doesn't tell us whether individuals who have explored sexually can't form pair bonds. That topic is not addressed in this paper at all.

Your error in logic is:

1. The model shows pair bonding could evolve when females stayed faithful within established pair bonds (at a population level, over evolutionary time)
2. Humans did evolve pair bonding
3. Therefore, you're concluding that individual females today shouldn't engage in sexual exploration before establishing a long-term pair bond

You're misreading what fidelity means here. The model is about staying with an established partner (not leaving them for other mates once paired). It's not about avoiding all sexual activity before pair bonding happens in the first place. Those are completely different things.

And I'm not even touching the fact that people are jumping from marital infidelity, to marriage satisfaction, to pair bonding, as if they’re the same. They aren’t. You can cheat and still be bonded. You can be bonded and unhappy. You can be faithful and emotionally detached.

As a general rule, it's a good idea to stay away from any evolutionary claims about how people "should" behave sexually or that men are X, women are Y. As was demonstrated here, most of these people do not know how to read a scientific paper, or even vet for what is a peer-reviewed paper.

Humans evolved flexible mating strategies that adapt based on environment, culture, and individual circumstances. While there may be *average* sex differences, the overlap between men and women is enormous.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate. Evolutionary biology explains why certain traits exist and how they might have been useful in our ancestral past. It does NOT tell us whether specific behaviors are healthy, moral, or predictive of relationship success today. And in fact, behavior is meant to be quite flexible so that individuals can adapt quickly.

What's actually useful isn't prescribing behavior based on theoretical models; it's looking at ourselves as individuals and figuring out what brings us relationship satisfaction.

Funny, the research regarding what brings people satisfaction in life and relationships reaches the same conclusions as the initially posted research.

You want things to be a certain way, but they aren’t.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.

Correct! Guess what, rape is “natural”, as is slavery. But I bet you won’t post pages of pseudoscience screeds defending these behaviors. Why not?

Do you understand the concept of consent?

Do you?

The consent model has been around for maybe 50 years of human history.

You claim to be a social scientist but apparently are unfamiliar with the concept of recency bias.

Comparing consensual sexual encounters today with rape and slavery is pure lunacy. Especially in the context in which this dumb post was started in the first place. I didn’t claim to be anything. Lots of people are commenting on your dumb posts. Recency bias? 😂😂😂 I live today, not 500 years ago.

One would expect that someone who is boasting about their credentials in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and biological anthropology could discuss these topics fluently. Or at least support their assertion that “ There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.”

Apparently not the case with you.

Not surprising that someone like you can’t read or comprehend. That is not me. You are talking to two different people (or more).

And again, no substance, just name calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is and it totally I’m sure there’s people with a high body count that are not unfaithful.

But many people with high body count are bipolar, victims of sexual abuse, have complex PTSD, are sex addicts, etc.

So yes, there’s gonna be a correlation between high body count and infidelity, but it’s because of the underlying condition not because they were a ho.

This is such total and utter horseshit that I am left speechless.

No, it isn’t. If you look at the rate of infidelity for people who are bipolar it’s like 80%.. if you look at infidelity for people who are sex addicts it’s in the 90s.

If you look at infidelity in general, most people have some sort of mental disorder.

Keep making shit up. It's highly entertaining yet no one will ever take you seriously.

There is in fact research showing that promiscuous people have lower relationship Satisfaction rates in marriage


https://spark.bethel.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1005&context=psychology-students#:~:text=Adults%20who%20are%20more%20promiscuous%20are%20more,trust%20in%20their%20partner%2C%20and%20shorter%20marriages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/231913405_Promiscuity_in_an_evolved_pair-bonding_system_Mating_within_and_outside_the_Pleistocene_box

And several evolutionary studies that correlate fidelity particular female to pair bonding and departure from promiscuity

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382477/


What’s not proven however is the causation: is pair bonding affected by promiscuity or the individuals are incapable of pair bonding due to some personality traits .

I double majored in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and minored in biological anthropology. Did you actually read your citations?

Your first citation is a student poster project for a Psychology 202 class at a Christian university, not a peer-reviewed journal article. More importantly, it doesn't even measure what it's claiming to measure. The title mentions "marital satisfaction," but what they actually looked at was:

1. Sexual partners vs. trust in partner
2. Cohabitation vs. marriage length
3. Sexual partners vs. marriage length, filtered by religious importance

They never directly measured marital satisfaction as its own thing.

Additionally, the association between number of sexual partners and length of marriage has obvious confounds. If you compare two 40-year-olds - one married at 20, one at 30 - the first person will show both fewer lifetime partners (only had 20 years to date before marriage vs. 30 years) AND a longer current marriage (20 years vs. 10 years). This correlation exists purely because of when they got married, not because having fewer partners caused the marriage to last longer.

Your second citation is a theoretical commentary proposing an evolutionary framework, not an empirical study of relationships or marriage outcomes. It has zero data on sexual partners, zero measures of marital satisfaction, and zero analysis of relationship outcomes. Using it as evidence about marriage or bonding is a total misapplication.

In fact, it argues the opposite of what you're claiming. Look at the diagram on page 4 - it shows dating and sexual exploration as normal parts of how pair bonding works:

1. First comes attraction and sexual motivation
2. Then partner preference develops through romantic/sexual interaction (eg, "pre-marital sex" or "promiscuity")
3. Only after this do attachment and long-term pair-bond form

The model treats multiple partners as part of a bonding-oriented system, NOT as behaviors that damage or bypass bonding mechanisms. If anything, it supports the opposite: that sexual and romantic exploration precede and facilitate attachment rather than prevent it.

Your third citation is also not an empirical study and does not show any real-world correlation between female fidelity, promiscuity, or pair-bonding outcomes. It's a mathematical model about how populations might evolve from promiscuous mating to pair bonding.

The model actually *starts* with a promiscuous population and explains how pair bonding can emerge from that state. So it does not support the idea that promiscuity is incompatible with bonding; it models bonding as something that can emerge out of promiscuity, not in opposition to it.

And even if we accept that female fidelity helped pair bonding evolve at the population level historically, that doesn't tell us whether individuals who have explored sexually can't form pair bonds. That topic is not addressed in this paper at all.

Your error in logic is:

1. The model shows pair bonding could evolve when females stayed faithful within established pair bonds (at a population level, over evolutionary time)
2. Humans did evolve pair bonding
3. Therefore, you're concluding that individual females today shouldn't engage in sexual exploration before establishing a long-term pair bond

You're misreading what fidelity means here. The model is about staying with an established partner (not leaving them for other mates once paired). It's not about avoiding all sexual activity before pair bonding happens in the first place. Those are completely different things.

And I'm not even touching the fact that people are jumping from marital infidelity, to marriage satisfaction, to pair bonding, as if they’re the same. They aren’t. You can cheat and still be bonded. You can be bonded and unhappy. You can be faithful and emotionally detached.

As a general rule, it's a good idea to stay away from any evolutionary claims about how people "should" behave sexually or that men are X, women are Y. As was demonstrated here, most of these people do not know how to read a scientific paper, or even vet for what is a peer-reviewed paper.

Humans evolved flexible mating strategies that adapt based on environment, culture, and individual circumstances. While there may be *average* sex differences, the overlap between men and women is enormous.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate. Evolutionary biology explains why certain traits exist and how they might have been useful in our ancestral past. It does NOT tell us whether specific behaviors are healthy, moral, or predictive of relationship success today. And in fact, behavior is meant to be quite flexible so that individuals can adapt quickly.

What's actually useful isn't prescribing behavior based on theoretical models; it's looking at ourselves as individuals and figuring out what brings us relationship satisfaction.

Funny, the research regarding what brings people satisfaction in life and relationships reaches the same conclusions as the initially posted research.

You want things to be a certain way, but they aren’t.

There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.

Correct! Guess what, rape is “natural”, as is slavery. But I bet you won’t post pages of pseudoscience screeds defending these behaviors. Why not?

Do you understand the concept of consent?

Do you?

The consent model has been around for maybe 50 years of human history.

You claim to be a social scientist but apparently are unfamiliar with the concept of recency bias.

Comparing consensual sexual encounters today with rape and slavery is pure lunacy. Especially in the context in which this dumb post was started in the first place. I didn’t claim to be anything. Lots of people are commenting on your dumb posts. Recency bias? 😂😂😂 I live today, not 500 years ago.

One would expect that someone who is boasting about their credentials in evolutionary biology and behavior science, and biological anthropology could discuss these topics fluently. Or at least support their assertion that “ There's no single "natural" way humans are supposed to mate.”

Apparently not the case with you.

Not surprising that someone like you can’t read or comprehend. That is not me. You are talking to two different people (or more).

And again, no substance, just name calling.

You’re welcome. Glad you finally understand that you’re talking to many people. Now do you have anything of substance to say or are we just pussing in the wind.

No amount of you trying to shame me for choosing who and when I sleep with is going to work on me. Feel free to go tell your wife that you’re glad she didn’t sleep around so she has no one to compare you to. I couldn’t care less. Your dumb attempts are not working here.

[Anonymous]

I've enjoyed perhaps 100+ P*****s before marriage. It had absolutely zero cause and effect for me stepping out during a multi decade long marriage. Fact is it probably prevented me from stepping out since I had already tasted the four corners of the earth.

Eventually I did cave though after a multi year dead bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

You and whoever else insitats on knowing the exact number are free to move on. But my answer has always been “none of your business.” Because it is truly none of your business. If you are too dumb to understand that, good riddance. Believe me, I will not miss you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've enjoyed perhaps 100+ P*****s before marriage. It had absolutely zero cause and effect for me stepping out during a multi decade long marriage. Fact is it probably prevented me from stepping out since I had already tasted the four corners of the earth.

Eventually I did cave though after a multi year dead bedroom.

So the stat remains. You had 100+ partners before marriage and then cheated in your marriage. I don't even believe the stat, but your excuse is not holding up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

You and whoever else insitats on knowing the exact number are free to move on. But my answer has always been “none of your business.” Because it is truly none of your business. If you are too dumb to understand that, good riddance. Believe me, I will not miss you.

Soooo, you'd rather burn months and months of time, energy, money, and emotional capitol getting to the exclusive stage to throw it away because you don't want your hypothetical life partner to actually know about your life.

Funny.

No wonder you're single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, as a man that travels a ton for business (and did when I was youngish- late 20s) and still single) there were plenty of women I met at the bar that were very clear what they were doing there. I slept with at least a dozen of them within 2 hours of meeting them. They were all young, some married, mostly not. But I can promise you this- I would not have married a single one of them. It's just, I don't know, kinda gross in a woman.

But your own behavior is totally a-ok, huh champ? Tell me what mommy issues led you to hating women.

I fully accept the hypocrisy and I reject the misogyny accusation 100%. I just don't want a woman that has been used by 50 men. It is what it is.

Who’s using who? Sounds like you’re intimidated by a woman who actually goes after what she wants? She’s healthy, you’re not. Think about it.

What seems to be bothering him is that some females may not necessarily looking for pair bonding. Which shows he’s a “lower ranked” male who existences issues securing a female to himself. There are evolutionary studies showing that pair bonding emerged from early promiscuity out of need to provision for children (coming from
Women ) and to secure continued sex by lower ranked males (who couldn’t compete with higher ranked males other than by giving resources through commitment and marriage to women who became selective ).

Well yes.

Evolutionarily without pair bonding what happens is polygamy - multiple women have sexual relationships with high status men. We see this today with OLD. Which means low status men get none, while outcomes for women and children are far worse than when in pair bonded family unit.

Of course some women may tell themselves they want casual sexual relationships (personally I think that they are simply brainwashed by the patriarchy to adopt male patterns of sexuality for the benefit of men). But on average women, children, and society are much better off with pair bonding and marriage as the default.

Is that why childless, single women are the happiest?

My guess is that you are really bothered that women do not need men to survive and being with you is not the prize you so want us to believe it is.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

You and whoever else insitats on knowing the exact number are free to move on. But my answer has always been “none of your business.” Because it is truly none of your business. If you are too dumb to understand that, good riddance. Believe me, I will not miss you.

Soooo, you'd rather burn months and months of time, energy, money, and emotional capitol getting to the exclusive stage to throw it away because you don't want your hypothetical life partner to actually know about your life.

Funny.

No wonder you're single.

I’m very happily married to a wonderful man. Just not an insecure moron like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

The bolded is all that matters. If he cares, he's not a suitable partner for that pp. She doesn't want an insecure manchild, and that's her right. Good for her.

Honestly, this is a GREAT question to weed out losers while dating. If they ask this, just block and move on. Do not even bother with people who want to control or judge you for this, they are not going to be a good partner going forward anyways. Better to see the red flag as soon as he waves it by asking this question and peace out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

The point is that plenty of "rational men" just don't care. You may have slutted around in college, why are you judging others for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this every time this idiotic topic comes up. I will never discuss my numbers with anyone and if a man insists on knowing my number, he can just move to the next woman who will lie to him instead of refusing to answer.

If he cares, ones refusing to answer are actually basically saying, "Too many to admit.".

I don’t give a shit what he thinks at that point. He is not someone I want to waste my time on. He has unresolved issues that I don’t care to fix.

BS.

Men aren't asking for your number on the first, third, or fifth date. They ask when you've become an exclusive couple and he's wondering if you are a woman he wants to spend his life with, start a family with, etc. You don't get to that stage without proving he is a person you willingly 'spend time' on. I can promise you this- the likelihood he stays interested is much higher if your response is "Four men that I dated for 3 months or more and six guys on a wild summer I spent volunteering in New Orleans."

Rational dudes can understand that. Rational dudes do not understand refusing to answer or answering with.... "31 guys."

This is wildly incorrect. The red pill incels are asking this before even *meeting* women on the apps. It's very easy to see why they get no matches.

[Anonymous]

I had a good number of one night stands but I’ve been very happily married for 27 years. My husband definitely satisfies my needs.