Three private school rejections

[Anonymous]

Run from Field. They have underqualified counselors and complete ignorance regarding autism. Didn't even know what stimming was when we had an issue with it there..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have three neurodivergent kids at a mainstream private. Agree that they will take kids in younger years with ASD if they are a sibling or it’s undiagnosed (because of age).

My oldest has anxiety, ADHD, mild dyslexia, and likely ASD (therapist thinks they have it but we haven’t done a neuropsych). DC is in middle school and I know of at least one other child with ASD diagnosis, and at least 1/3 of kids get extra time on testing (for various reasons). My DC accepted in K when problems were much less clear, and their school has a strong sibling preference so my other kids accepted (the youngest with a diagnosis which needs a fair amount of support). To be clear, the expectation is that the school only provides scaffolding for social situations for my child - we are expected (and do) enroll and pay for all skills building/therapy outside of school. Right now DC is having small meltdowns regularly at school, and they get a quiet place to sit to calm themselves and teachers who care and check in with them. It’s worth it to us to pay for school because the adults do step in when DC gets overly upset and helps smooth things over with classmates, and DC is generally very try happy. But I talked with DC’s teacher recently and they see DC’s behaviors as extreme compared with their peers.

My experience is my kids’ private school does a pretty good job with HFA kids and supporting them (as well as other diagnoses) but in the older grades admissions is likely looking at the kids who are already there and judging the school’s capacity to support more kids. It’s totally reasonable (if not fair) to not admit kids when they are already at capacity with existing students.

FWIW, I have only seen two kids get counseled out. In one case it was after a disastrous K year - even at the end of the year the child was having daily meltdowns and couldn’t participate in the class. In the other it took four years of poor behavior, including almost daily screaming at teachers and classmates. The school gives kids a good chance to try to make things work.

Can you share the name of the school please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people hate private for asd kids so much? I’ve seen some go to private schools just fine genuinely wondering.

Same.

Maybe you should listen to what people have posted here repeatedly. trust us, many of us here would LOVED to have been able to just thrown money at the problem and enrolled our kid in a great private school …

[Anonymous]

I was 16:45 thanks for the genuine answers to my question.

[Anonymous]

We have a VERY similar kid now at Nora doing really well (tiny ES -> huge public MS -> school refusal -> Fusion -> Nora). Definitely keep Nora in mind for high school.

Bullying wasn't a huge problem for us at the public MS - I think mostly it was just overwhelming - loud, crowded, chaotic. Classes were HUGE so it was easy to get overlooked. The social landscape was very different - kid went from being the sweet goofy kid liked by everyone to the weird kid avoided by most, very fast, and he did not understand it at all.

Good luck with Deal! If it doesn't work out, I agree that Parkmont would be a good option for middle school, and they do take mid-year transfers. Templeton is a maybe, I think it does well at supporting neurodivergence but its unique instructional style is amazing for some and awful for others. I would not recommend Fusion unless you have no other options - it was a godsend and lifesaver for us but also definitely a stopgap. I'm very glad it was there when we needed it but also very glad to be gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice. Our DS is going to 6th grade next year (Middle School) from a school of 350 students to Deal with 1400 and we are worried about bullying.

DS is high functioning ASD with lightweight IEP. Does really well in class. Has limited number of friends. He is gifted in domains like math and at grade level in other classes. Doesn’t need academic supports but needs help navigating social situations.

We applied to three “progressive” independent schools in DC and MD but DS was waitlisted and later rejected from all three. One was McLean which is not welcoming of ASD students.

We are out of ideas and would like to hear how other families have navigated this. Should we give Deal a try? Move to MCPS to an in-boundary school with a 2e/Aspergers program? Any independent school recommendations that understand that ASD kids will have “quirky” behaviors from time to time?

Thanks in advance

New School of Northern Virginia in Fairfax

[Anonymous]

Try the Lab school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try the Lab school

Lab school doesn't take autistic kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try the Lab school

Lab school doesn't take autistic kids.

You have to wonder who keeps suggesting Lab ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try the Lab school

Lab school doesn't take autistic kids.

You have to wonder who keeps suggesting Lab ….

Really. If you don't know anything about SN schools, it's ok to say nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I may be the outlier here, but I parent a neurodivergent kid who did fantastic at Deal. And another who is ASD & dyslexia at a private.

But I think Deal is great for kids who are on grade level. And I know a ton of families with IEPs there who also had great experiences. Deal is so big there are lots of kids who will have similar profiles to your son. So many clubs. So many activities. So many kids lacking any social skills.

If my private school 4th grader wasn’t so far behind academically I’d definitely send them to Deal. They would find their people.

My kids is graduating from deal this month. Sounds like your kid. It was awful. 6th grade is ok and you can see if he's made friends or had cafeteria trouble by the end of 6th. If the answer is no and yes, get him out of there. It will get worse. I advocated like crazy but the school did nothing and doesnt care. The teachers are good but that doesn't mean much socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok I may be the outlier here, but I parent a neurodivergent kid who did fantastic at Deal. And another who is ASD & dyslexia at a private.

But I think Deal is great for kids who are on grade level. And I know a ton of families with IEPs there who also had great experiences. Deal is so big there are lots of kids who will have similar profiles to your son. So many clubs. So many activities. So many kids lacking any social skills.

If my private school 4th grader wasn’t so far behind academically I’d definitely send them to Deal. They would find their people.

My kids is graduating from deal this month. Sounds like your kid. It was awful. 6th grade is ok and you can see if he's made friends or had cafeteria trouble by the end of 6th. If the answer is no and yes, get him out of there. It will get worse. I advocated like crazy but the school did nothing and doesnt care. The teachers are good but that doesn't mean much socially.

Yikes! OP here. Thanks for the heads up. Can you share what high school is your child going to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok I may be the outlier here, but I parent a neurodivergent kid who did fantastic at Deal. And another who is ASD & dyslexia at a private.

But I think Deal is great for kids who are on grade level. And I know a ton of families with IEPs there who also had great experiences. Deal is so big there are lots of kids who will have similar profiles to your son. So many clubs. So many activities. So many kids lacking any social skills.

If my private school 4th grader wasn’t so far behind academically I’d definitely send them to Deal. They would find their people.

My kids is graduating from deal this month. Sounds like your kid. It was awful. 6th grade is ok and you can see if he's made friends or had cafeteria trouble by the end of 6th. If the answer is no and yes, get him out of there. It will get worse. I advocated like crazy but the school did nothing and doesnt care. The teachers are good but that doesn't mean much socially.

Yikes! OP here. Thanks for the heads up. Can you share what high school is your child going to?

do you want to talk offline? [e-mail] (ok, so that fake email name sounds icky, but I'm not icky just bad at making email addresses . . .)