Three private school rejections

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a somewhat similar kid at Diener for middle with plans for Parkmont or Nora for high school.

Has Diener been good for your on grade level child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a somewhat similar kid at Diener for middle with plans for Parkmont or Nora for high school.

Has Diener been good for your on grade level child?

Absolutely. Diener teachers are collaborative, creative, patient, and communicative. My kid is 2e with a very spikey skillset. Lots of anxiety and some work refusal. In terms of homework and studying they are not terribly challenged academically but nor could they handle such a challenge. My child is capable of very high level discussions but struggles to create school work that reflects their abilities. Diener is bringing them along with patience, positive connection, and consistency.

The one hitch is that the other kids there are similarly quirky and they set each other off. But I can’t say enough about what a positive place Diener has been for our family. They work to mediate social skirmishes. They proactively reach out to us about them before we even hear from our child. They coordinate with our kid’s therapist and psychiatrist.

I think if we didn’t have Diener we’d have school refusal. We had our child in MCPS for years. We did have school refusal in 5th grade.

It was like pulling teeth to get MCPS teachers to communicate. MCPS these days is struggling with so very many newly diagnosed kids and insufficient programs, teachers, and funding for their SPED programs. Even if you can get a seat in one of those programs (unlikely- the system seems to favor those already inside) there’s no telling if it will be appropriately staffed to deliver on the IEP. I have friends who had to sue MCPS to get their kids an appropriate placement because the programs they were in lost enough staff that they were mainstreamed inappropriately. Then you’re back to looking at private options again (albeit with a source of funding.)

Diener teachers are proactive, compassionate, and joyful. If you can afford it and get a spot, it’s a very good option in a landscape with very few solid options.

[Anonymous]

This was us three years ago.
Our educational consultant was a waste of time and money.
We applied to three progressive independent schools. DC was accepted to two and waitlisted and later rejected to the third one.
We sent our child to the one we thought it was the best fit. It was a nightmare! The littlest quirky behavior produced a cascade of phone calls, emails and meetings. It was exhausting and stressful. By December it was clear that we needed to find a better school for our child.
So we asked our SLP and OT for school recommendations and didn’t hire a consultant.
Child was accepted to all schools we applied to and the one we chose was the right fit.
Our child is now thriving socially and academically in a supportive environment. And once in a while when DC has an autistic moment their teaches deal with it without disrupting my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was us three years ago.
Our educational consultant was a waste of time and money.
We applied to three progressive independent schools. DC was accepted to two and waitlisted and later rejected to the third one.
We sent our child to the one we thought it was the best fit. It was a nightmare! The littlest quirky behavior produced a cascade of phone calls, emails and meetings. It was exhausting and stressful. By December it was clear that we needed to find a better school for our child.
So we asked our SLP and OT for school recommendations and didn’t hire a consultant.
Child was accepted to all schools we applied to and the one we chose was the right fit.
Our child is now thriving socially and academically in a supportive environment. And once in a while when DC has an autistic moment their teaches deal with it without disrupting my day.

What school did you end up at? Or, if that’s too identifying, which schools did you apply to during the second round? OP would benefit from that information.

[Anonymous]

We are at Newton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably will not get help in mcps

MCPS was a complete nightmare for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our kid doesn’t mask his behaviors and this has nothing to do with our friends. We are very proud of our DS. Please. There’s no need to be rude or make insensitive comments.

We have approached schools openly about our kids diagnosis. DS doesn’t need academic supports (now) but DS struggles figuring out some social norms. DS has an IEP and the only reason we were worried about Deal was the size of the school but the feedback I’m hearing is encouraging.

If other families thinking about private for their high functioning kids are reading this, I would concur with previous comments that these schools don’t have the resources or desire to support kids with minor quirky behaviors, even if they are gifted, on grade level or above, and have strong teacher recommendations. We’ve learned this the hard way despite working with a consultant and being transparent with schools during open houses.

You write that the ASD diagnosis is the culprit. I am inviting you to check your biases. What is the culprit is ableism. Both yours and some of the schools you are trying to squeeze your kid into. You need to work on a accepting your kids diagnosis

OP has accepted the child's diagnosis just fine. That is not what OP is saying. Private schools accepting ASD diagnosis is a different matter. Ableism is legal and common in private schools, and OP is just working with the reality.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With an ASD diagnosis, you are stuck with public school. Even if you got rid of the IEP, there would still be the diagnosis.
Is it possible to get another eval that removes the diagnosis?

What the heck? I can’t imagine a school that you would need to lie to or withhold information from would be a good fit. It could cause a lot of unnecessary stress, her kid could get kicked out or feel unwelcome, etc.

[Anonymous]

My kid did well in MCPS; maybe it’s school-dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for advice. Our DS is going to 6th grade next year (Middle School) from a school of 350 students to Deal with 1400 and we are worried about bullying.

DS is high functioning ASD with lightweight IEP. Does really well in class. Has limited number of friends. He is gifted in domains like math and at grade level in other classes. Doesn’t need academic supports but needs help navigating social situations.

We applied to three “progressive” independent schools in DC and MD but DS was waitlisted and later rejected from all three. One was McLean which is not welcoming of ASD students.

We are out of ideas and would like to hear how other families have navigated this. Should we give Deal a try? Move to MCPS to an in-boundary school with a 2e/Aspergers program? Any independent school recommendations that understand that ASD kids will have “quirky” behaviors from time to time?

Thanks in advance

Did you apply to Green Acres school? They might have an opening

[Anonymous]

My ND eldest child is at a smaller, second tier, progressive school. Their school is easily 20-30% neurodivergent, but any ND kids older than K who are applying in wont be accepted. Basically the existing ND population got their diagnosis after enrollment during preschool-1st grade. Those who aren’t eventually counseled out have siblings or their parents partner with the school to the extreme- hiring 1:1 aides, volunteer and donating a ton, etc.

If I were a parent of a ND kid who was applying and got rejected at our school, I would be frustrated because there are plenty of visibly neurodivergent kids in every grade. But the school knows it can’t accomodate any more due to the strain that it puts on the school’s resources. I think this is the first year they actually rejected kids and admitted they couldn’t serve them vs. stringing them along on a waitlist.

[Anonymous]

This was a while ago but when my son attended Green Acres there was a classmate with ASD. My son had a different diagnosis but they were incredibly welcoming and supportive. I called the admissions director and asked point blank if his diagnosis would be an issue and was told it would not. As long as there aren’t any disruptive behaviors and you understand they don’t provide intervention (only accommodations), I think it’s worth pursing. The school literally changed DS’s life. Before he attended, he was miserable in public school. He graduated from Green Acres a strong and confident student and was incredibly well prepared to return to public for HS. It’s worth a shot. I also want to add that the classmate with ASD was treated very kindly by staff and classmates. The kids were very inclusive.

[Anonymous]

Is Sandy Spring too far of a commute? They are rebuilding and may be less judgmental right now. They also seem to have a warm and welcoming community.

[Anonymous]

Green Acres has been life changing for our child. We will be forever grateful. Life changing.

If you can get in- grab the slot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With an ASD diagnosis, you are stuck with public school. Even if you got rid of the IEP, there would still be the diagnosis.
Is it possible to get another eval that removes the diagnosis?

You can lose a diagnosis, so they do the ADOS but you don’t qualify for the diagnosis. Not common though, usually see this with kids that start services VERY early, like 12-24 months.

NP. Can we go back to the developmental pediatrician and ask for a second ADOS? Our child got an ASD diagnosis at 22 months, but things are very different now at age 6.