Why do the moms hand in cliques at the games/matches?

[Anonymous]

I'm really friendly & from the midwest. We greet everyone. I've noticed at the sports outings/games/matches that a lot of the moms hang out together and don't welcome the new moms into the group. I'm talking about a prominent girl's school in Bethesda. Does anyone else experience this? It feels really odd.

[Anonymous]

Are you talking about Holton Arms?

[Anonymous]

I'm from the Midwest, too. But when in Rome....... OP, go introduce yourself and join the group. They won't bite.

[Anonymous]

My husband's a Midwesterner too and has also commented about the parents at our children's public elementary school and co-ed private middle/high school. I'm from NJ and notice how much friendlier the parents there are when we go see our nephews' games/meets/matches in the suburbs of NYC. So maybe people here are less welcoming initially. In any case, though, I agree with PP who said that if you go over and introduce yourself, most people will return your friendly gesture.

[Anonymous]

Ours bite...

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am from the Midwest too and find the general rudeness really crazy out here. I often say hi to moms on the way in to school at games etc. and get no response. Literally, not even a hi. It blows me away. I am a totally normal person, with nice kids, so it's not like there is a reason to be rude to me. I usually just keep saying it with a huge smile just to kill em with kindness. All I can say is it appears that there are some awfully insecure and/or unhappy people in this area, despite their affluence. Just not my style.

[Anonymous]

PP here. One more note. A mom at my DS's new school mentioned to me (nicely) that I "obviously" wasn't from around here originally. Now, there is nothing in my appearance, accent, etc. to suggest such a comment. The only thing I could infer was that she meant because I am so open and friendly. I am not going to change that despite the meanies out there.

[Anonymous]

PP -- I say hello to everyone. I also often get no reply even though I see these people every single school day. I find it really strange. I've been in DC for a long tme -- work people always speak. It's just these moms who fail to say hello. It's really rude.

Whoever replied "when in Rome" -- don't use that saying in this case. Romans are nice.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I love the way they jab you with their elbows, yelling
"Scoozi" as they attempt to part a crowd headed in the same direction they're going. Or play chicken with you when you're crossing the street and they're driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP -- I say hello to everyone. I also often get no reply even though I see these people every single school day. I find it really strange. I've been in DC for a long tme -- work people always speak. It's just these moms who fail to say hello. It's really rude.

Whoever replied "when in Rome" -- don't use that saying in this case. Romans are nice.

I totally agree with this. The moms don't, but in my professional life (and I worked in politics where you might think the pointy elbows were out) we always said hello and were cordial and god forbid even had drinks with folks on the other side of the aisle or an issue. I hate to say it, but sometimes I think these women just have never had a professional life and are very self absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am from the Midwest too and find the general rudeness really crazy out here. I often say hi to moms on the way in to school at games etc. and get no response. Literally, not even a hi. It blows me away. I am a totally normal person, with nice kids, so it's not like there is a reason to be rude to me. I usually just keep saying it with a huge smile just to kill em with kindness. All I can say is it appears that there are some awfully insecure and/or unhappy people in this area, despite their affluence. Just not my style.

Me too, literally, on just about everything you wrote here. I've wondered why they behave that way, and I've been completely stumped. It took a long time for me to get to the point where I don't take it personally (and I'm not 100% there yet). It really sucks to be struggling with PPD and having to remind myself that it's not me, it's them.

So you think the unfriendliness is due to insecurity or unhappiness? I thought maybe it was cultural, i.e. the famed East Coast coldness / rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am from the Midwest too and find the general rudeness really crazy out here. I often say hi to moms on the way in to school at games etc. and get no response. Literally, not even a hi. It blows me away. I am a totally normal person, with nice kids, so it's not like there is a reason to be rude to me. I usually just keep saying it with a huge smile just to kill em with kindness. All I can say is it appears that there are some awfully insecure and/or unhappy people in this area, despite their affluence. Just not my style.

Me too, literally, on just about everything you wrote here. I've wondered why they behave that way, and I've been completely stumped. It took a long time for me to get to the point where I don't take it personally (and I'm not 100% there yet). It really sucks to be struggling with PPD and having to remind myself that it's not me, it's them.

So you think the unfriendliness is due to insecurity or unhappiness? I thought maybe it was cultural, i.e. the famed East Coast coldness / rudeness.

Hey, so sorry for the PPD. I have been there. DO NOT take these silly women seriously or personally. I think it is both insecurity and unhappiness. But goodness, when I am unhappy and someone smiles or says hi to me I feel better. I truly do not get it. On the PPD front, I hope you are getting some help.

[Anonymous]

To clarify, I truly think it's Washington, D.C. and its suburbs, not an across-the-board East Coast thing.

I'm from the Midwest, too, and so came East 15 years ago with new eyes. The people in DC are less friendly, MUCH less helpful and more openly hostile (last seat on the Metro, anyone?) than residents of Philly, NYC, and Baltimore.

(* I have heard, but don't know first-hand, that Boston isn't such a chummy town either).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Hey, so sorry for the PPD. I have been there. DO NOT take these silly women seriously or personally. I think it is both insecurity and unhappiness. But goodness, when I am unhappy and someone smiles or says hi to me I feel better. I truly do not get it. On the PPD front, I hope you are getting some help.

10:27 here and thanks I should have clarified - I'm past the PPD, but I had the hardest time steeling myself against the unfriendliness then. It doesn't help that I tend to be sensitive anyway, although living here is certainly toughening me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, I truly think it's Washington, D.C. and its suburbs, not an across-the-board East Coast thing.
The people in DC are less friendly, MUCH less helpful and more openly hostile (last seat on the Metro, anyone?) than residents of Philly, NYC, and Baltimore.
.

Been here 15 plus year -from one of above mentioned cities- still don't like this area. Endless jockeying for most important connection in room/area/field. All conversations seem to take place while room being scanned in case someone more important comes along. I've even caught myself doing it.... Damn. Hang in there. As a PP mentioned, a friendly smile makes my day too.