went to a a birthday party with mirrors and . . .

[Anonymous]

I could not believe how fat and dumpy I looked.

Took my kid to a birthday party at a dance studio and all those mirrors, ugh! I went in feeling pretty good about myself - had a cute top on, actually dried my hair this morning, etc. and I was shocked at how overweight I looked in the mirror.

I turned 40 almost a year ago and gained about 3 pounds but I didn't realize it had made such a big difference in how I look.

What's the first step? My eating habits are generally good but of course could be better and exercise has not been a priority lately.

[Anonymous]

So make exercise a priority. Keep a food diary so you can track calories.

[Anonymous]

I doubt 3 pounds makes a significant difference in how you look in the mirror unless you were extremely thin to start. To be so distressed about 3 pounds that you feel the need to write your post is concerning. My weight can easily fluctuate 3 pounds around my period. Be kind of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Best weight loss motivation for me was a very unflattering pic of myself and I looked at every time I thought of going for the second helping or potato chips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt 3 pounds makes a significant difference in how you look in the mirror unless you were extremely thin to start. To be so distressed about 3 pounds that you feel the need to write your post is concerning. My weight can easily fluctuate 3 pounds around my period. Be kind of yourself.

This comment seems a little unfair. OP didn’t see a 3 lb change and post because of that, she posted because of how she saw herself. A 3 lb change in the scale could represent a large loss of muscle replaced by fat and could look a lot different than someone with a healthy lifestyle obsessing over the last 3 vanity pounds. Also changes in muscle and flexibility maybe be leaving OP with posture that doesn’t help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt 3 pounds makes a significant difference in how you look in the mirror unless you were extremely thin to start. To be so distressed about 3 pounds that you feel the need to write your post is concerning. My weight can easily fluctuate 3 pounds around my period. Be kind of yourself.

This comment seems a little unfair. OP didn’t see a 3 lb change and post because of that, she posted because of how she saw herself. A 3 lb change in the scale could represent a large loss of muscle replaced by fat and could look a lot different than someone with a healthy lifestyle obsessing over the last 3 vanity pounds. Also changes in muscle and flexibility maybe be leaving OP with posture that doesn’t help.

3 pounds is not the difference between dumpy and fat, as OP says, and a happy weight.

The OP's post reeks of body dysmorphia and the PP was not unfair in telling OP to be kind to herself.

Some of y'all have serious body image issues you wrap up in BS. Sciencey sounding fluff like "posture, flexibility etc blah blah."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt 3 pounds makes a significant difference in how you look in the mirror unless you were extremely thin to start. To be so distressed about 3 pounds that you feel the need to write your post is concerning. My weight can easily fluctuate 3 pounds around my period. Be kind of yourself.

This comment seems a little unfair. OP didn’t see a 3 lb change and post because of that, she posted because of how she saw herself. A 3 lb change in the scale could represent a large loss of muscle replaced by fat and could look a lot different than someone with a healthy lifestyle obsessing over the last 3 vanity pounds. Also changes in muscle and flexibility maybe be leaving OP with posture that doesn’t help.

3 pounds is not the difference between dumpy and fat, as OP says, and a happy weight.

The OP's post reeks of body dysmorphia and the PP was not unfair in telling OP to be kind to herself.

Some of y'all have serious body image issues you wrap up in BS. Sciencey sounding fluff like "posture, flexibility etc blah blah."

+1. I go up and down 3 pounds on a daily basis, and more than that around my cycle.

[Anonymous]

It’s not the 3 pounds. It’s that when “exercise is not a priority” your body changes. You likely lost a lot of muscle which was replaced with fat. I went through a phase with whacked out hormones and trying different BC pills and they made me gain weight, and at the time, I was also cutting back on exercise. It’s now a year and a half later and I weigh exactly the same, but I’ve been exercising and working out very hard and very diligently. My legs are so much more shapely. I look a lot better in photos and in the mirror despite being the same weight. I suspect the number is fooling you in a reverse type of way right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the 3 pounds. It’s that when “exercise is not a priority” your body changes. You likely lost a lot of muscle which was replaced with fat. I went through a phase with whacked out hormones and trying different BC pills and they made me gain weight, and at the time, I was also cutting back on exercise. It’s now a year and a half later and I weigh exactly the same, but I’ve been exercising and working out very hard and very diligently. My legs are so much more shapely. I look a lot better in photos and in the mirror despite being the same weight. I suspect the number is fooling you in a reverse type of way right now.

Very good points made by PP, I agree and have a similar experience. 2-3 pounds diff so “not much” (as the body image police is trying to shame you into admitting), but in reality it was probably 2-3 pounds less muscle and 4-6 pounds more fat. For me the wake up call was a profile picture ... I realized I really Changed and the kids/end of thirties had taken a toll. Use that panic to motivate yourself ? ! A year after the bad pic I lost the flabbiness and gained back the muscles. It feels wonderful. It can easily be done, you just need to want it, have a plan and stick to it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the 3 pounds. It’s that when “exercise is not a priority” your body changes. You likely lost a lot of muscle which was replaced with fat. I went through a phase with whacked out hormones and trying different BC pills and they made me gain weight, and at the time, I was also cutting back on exercise. It’s now a year and a half later and I weigh exactly the same, but I’ve been exercising and working out very hard and very diligently. My legs are so much more shapely. I look a lot better in photos and in the mirror despite being the same weight. I suspect the number is fooling you in a reverse type of way right now.

Very good points made by PP, I agree and have a similar experience. 2-3 pounds diff so “not much” (as the body image police is trying to shame you into admitting), but in reality it was probably 2-3 pounds less muscle and 4-6 pounds more fat. For me the wake up call was a profile picture ... I realized I really Changed and the kids/end of thirties had taken a toll. Use that panic to motivate yourself ? ! A year after the bad pic I lost the flabbiness and gained back the muscles. It feels wonderful. It can easily be done, you just need to want it, have a plan and stick to it

Oh and if you actually want advice about that plan, what worked for me was : a sort of paleo diet but with a calorie limit (cooking from scratch fresh veggies and quality protein, no snacks, less alcohol, very limited empty carbs, aiming for 1500 cal a day), and regular Pilates and barre class (2-3 times a week + 1 yoga class and a lot of walking). Lost 10 pounds and stabilized on the very low end of healthy BMI. I don’t think there is a perfect plan though what is key is :
1/finding a diet plan that works for you and is actually not a diet but can become your new way of eating, because you are going to hopefully stick to it for the rest of your life;
2/ finding an exercise routine that makes you feel good. I would really have loved to become a runner, or a spinner, or a cardio junkie. I am not. I hate running so I only run 10-15 as a warm up and then do something I enjoy. What matters is making it a habit. Something that is as part of your routine as brushing your teeth. Something that doesn’t have to “fit in your schedule” but is part of the non negotiable. It takes time to figure out what it for you. But try a lot of different things, new classes, bring friends, repeat until you find something that clicks..

Good luck! It can be easy, it can be a very fun and interesting journey, and when you get to the fitness and looks you want it feels absolutely wonderful. So wonderful you will always wonder why in the world you ever chose to live differently

[Anonymous]

OKay NP here. when people tell me to do barre or pilates to lose weight, that automatically makes me discredit anything they say. Because if you are or ever really fat you will never show your face in either of those. There are no fat or weak people in those classes!!!! This makes me think you never were fat so your advice is unsympathetic.

That said, how do you get in shape so that you CAN show your face in those classes and at least make it through the class without passing out or leaving in tears?!!

[Anonymous]

3 lbs?!! I shit 3 lbs!

[Anonymous]

Remember that book "Fit or Fat"? It was about exactly this phenomenon, where you don't really gain weight but turn to mush. Time to build muscle OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OKay NP here. when people tell me to do barre or pilates to lose weight, that automatically makes me discredit anything they say. Because if you are or ever really fat you will never show your face in either of those. There are no fat or weak people in those classes!!!! This makes me think you never were fat so your advice is unsympathetic.

That said, how do you get in shape so that you CAN show your face in those classes and at least make it through the class without passing out or leaving in tears?!!

Run

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OKay NP here. when people tell me to do barre or pilates to lose weight, that automatically makes me discredit anything they say. Because if you are or ever really fat you will never show your face in either of those. There are no fat or weak people in those classes!!!! This makes me think you never were fat so your advice is unsympathetic.

That said, how do you get in shape so that you CAN show your face in those classes and at least make it through the class without passing out or leaving in tears?!!

I haven't been to a barre class, so I can't speak to that. Getting upset over 3 pounds (or 5 or 10) and doing something about it is what will keep people like op and pp from ever letting their weight get out of control. It is a lot easier to reing in 5 pounds than 50.