S/O disrespectful teen on the metro? What are we as parents doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

[Anonymous]

Parents have to parent. A parent is not your friend until you are an adult.

Good, active parenting is hard. Many people are just not interested in doing the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

This does not happen in North Arlington. Not on any meaningful scale anyway.

[Anonymous]

...Disrespectful teen on the Metro.

OK, I haven't read the other thread, but I was a disrespectful teen on the L in Chicago at one point. I became a fully functional adult with manners.

It's probably not the parenting. It's probably being a teen, feeling invincible, feeling some sense of unfairness in the world without quite knowing what to do about it, swirling hormones, feeling safe with your friends, knowing that people are definitely judging you for your youth or your color or you gender or your socioeconomic status or your WHATEVER it is, and letting lose with the stress.

[Anonymous]

Kids see trashy behavior modeled at home. Kids act trashy. It's not complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

This does not happen in North Arlington. Not on any meaningful scale anyway.

Because North Arlington is broke comparatively.

[Anonymous]

Never having consequences. If you never get punished, why wouldn't you just do whatever you wanted?

[Anonymous]

So teenage rebellion , defiance, etc is brand new? It's an appropriate developmental stage that helps the kids separate from parents, grow up, find themselves. Romeo and Juliet were pretty rebellious; they just didn't have the metro

[Anonymous]

North Arlington or any upper income place in the DMV, I would not be so cavalier as to think there are not parents behaving badly or kids/teens behaving badly. I agree that parents do need to keep on "the parent hat" and not strive to be BFF!! As regards the Metro, I do think it is very important to teach your children how to not engage or be drawn into a situation with other kids who might want to start something up. In this regard I would do basic safety rules such as all electronics out of sight and not in use so that one is 100% paying atention using metro. Also, if someone does go for anything - back pack, phone, computer, let them take it as nothing is worth getting injured or worse for. Also maybe how to size up a train - if you see a group is on it already, then just wait for the next one or go to a different car. Some teens are a lot more 'street wise" then others.
It starts in the beginning to set the house rules on how one is to be treated with treated, follow the rules AND setting limits and what happens when they are crossed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

The video I saw showed a girl having her legs kicked out from under her by a police officer. That's when I saw her defiance escalate. I didn't see what happened before that. Sure she was being defiant not to throw her food away but the real disrespect I saw was from the officer to the teen.

[Anonymous]

Kids have been obnoxious on public transport since forever. Remember when they played boom boxes? Thank god for the rise of the walkman.

They've also been bullying each other since time immemorial. The difference is, back then, no one cared.

[Anonymous]

What forum is the other thread on this on? I read it but I can't remember which one.

[Anonymous]

Just going to be honest - When we moved to DC, my kids' teachers and their their friends' parents were constantly commenting on how well-behaved and well-mannered my children were. I truly didn't understand it. They are just typical kids. After living here for a few months, it made total sense. Y'all don't raise your kids with manners. You just don't. I don't why. I don't know when it started. I don't understand it. But you have failed to teach your kids basic consideration for others. It has nothing at all to do with money or social status. It's just the way the kids in DC are raised.

My kids would never dream of not offering a seat on the metro to an adult. They open doors. They say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They aren't loud in public. AND - and this is important - There is absolutely nothing special about their behavior. Everyone in our hometown raises their kids to be polite. I'm not suggesting that they are perfect. They get in trouble just like all kids. But they are never, ever, ever disrespectful towards adults. I have never in my 26 years of parenting (my youngest is 16) received a phone call from a school saying my child was disrespectful or disobedient. Not one time in 26 years and with 5 kids. Our kids may break rules and push limits. But there were raised to be respectful, kind, and considerate. Y'all miss the mark on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids see trashy behavior modeled at home. Kids act trashy. It's not complicated.

Kids can be well raised and behave poorly outside the home to revel and/or show off to friends. The grow out of it for the most part. I worry about the poorly raised kids that do the same as that is harder to change in the long term as right and wrong is not as clearly understood. Frankly, I think a lot of the latter is socio economic. Neither enforced at home or school. So cannot behave properly in public

My kid may behave badly but if and adult gave him the stink eye or stopped by a police officer would revert back to manners learned at home and school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

The video I saw showed a girl having her legs kicked out from under her by a police officer. That's when I saw her defiance escalate. I didn't see what happened before that. Sure she was being defiant not to throw her food away but the real disrespect I saw was from the officer to the teen.

The video started a. Purple seconds before that when she refused to sit. Which resulted in the police officer having her sit. A continuation of defiance