I have no interests outside of my children
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Anonymous
What is your damage? Sit yourself down with your judgy judgy nasty responses. I had phases with both kids when I sat with them to get them to sleep. It was temporary. I wasn't sitting with them later on, just when they were little. And I would watch shows on my ipad using earphones or read a book on my ipad while I sat with them, so I actually enjoyed that time. They settled quickly and easily and I got to read! If you are laying down with your kid, maybe you could transition to just sitting in the room, so that you can use that time to watch something or read something that interests you. |
Anonymous
WOW, I feel like I could’ve written this. I am also 31 and none of my friends have kids. I am pretty ok with being hobby-less. I try to exercise some mornings and read before bed. |
Anonymous
| Get a hobby if you want one. Not to add value to friendships. The number one thing I have in common with my friends is phase of life. They get it. We’re all in this wonderful but chaotic phase together |
Anonymous
Are you suggesting to unbirth the kids? My parents had me 20, while in college. They had my siblings by 30. They both went on to get their PhDs and careers in academia. We did a lot of things as a family (e.g., museums, and hikes). They also became empty nesters early: my mom is learning to play piano, and my dad returned to the sport that he left when I was born. They also have more money now, so they finally get to travel and explore. If anything, they are not dull people without hobbies. Btw, we turned out OK too. |
Anonymous
| Get a hobby you big bum |
Anonymous
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When I was in my early thirties, my children were my main interests. I had a whole life in my twenties though.
I think I was not able to have outside interests until I stopped working. When I was a working mom of young kids in my early thirties, I went to work, came home, took care of my kids and that was it. I had no alone time. I was just exhausted all the time. Now I am in my forties and my kids still mostly are my main interests. I love to travel, read, go to concerts, shows, eat, bake, try new restaurants, work out, chill, etc. I have lots of friends. Some work. Some don’t. We all have kids. |
Anonymous
| OP, I was there with you until just a few months ago. My oldest is 8 and my youngest is 3. Only now that the youngest is old enough to play by himself or with an older sibling do I feel like I can pursue outside interests. It's still limited, my life is 95% work and kids, but I have a game group every other week, am starting to go to the very occasional concert or dinne rwith friends and colleagues, etc. It might just be an age thing. |
Anonymous
OP it's pretty easy to watch some television. Get some airpods and watch shows on your phone while doing things around the house. I have to lie with my 1 year old to get her to sleep (at least half the time I fall asleep with her) but do get some TV time in while doing mindless chores. I don't like her seeing me on my phone that much but do feel comfortable reading my kindle around her so get a fair amount of reading done when she is half asleep at night or at naptime. And yes I belong to some moms groups with kids of similar age and then it's ok to talk about your kids! Also belong to a single moms reading club. Solo mom here so no husband relief possible but sometimes have a teenager play with my kid for a couple hours while I do other stuff (admittedly usually work or chore related.) |
Anonymous
] I actually think it's easier to do as a SAHM |
Anonymous
What do you guys do all day?? Don’t say laundry. You’re not doing laundry all day every day when your kids are in school. You have plenty of time to do something that would make you more interesting. |
Anonymous
Not pp. you have poor reading comprehension. OP said she works all day. |
Anonymous
They… work. OP, you’re fine. Once your younger one turns 4ish, you will have a lot more independence. At that point, you and your DH need to learn how to handle them solo (if you’re not already doing that) to give each other a break. There are pros and cons to everything, including having kids young. I don’t find the women who had kids at 40 more interesting than the ones who had kids at 25. |
Anonymous
| My youngest is 5 and I feel like I’m starting to regain energy for myself a little bit. I thought as soon as my kids were a bit more independent I would lean back in to my career (I do work, but have passes up virtually all promotions since having kids, no regrets) but find while I’m glad I still work I am really craving exercise (and more interesting exercise than just running the same 2.5 mile loop I always do because it’s simple and fast) and reading and trying to rebuild my social life. I am really loving many things about having slightly older kids. It might be coming for you too. |
Anonymous
| How old are your kids? Mine are 21 months apart and the pandemic hit when they were 1 and 3. I would say only in the last year and a half or so have I gotten back to the things I used to enjoy. |
Anonymous
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I am the opposite and get annoyed when parenthood disrupts my adult interests/hobbies/dates etc. I have to remind myself to maintain perspective. But I had a mom like you OP who lost herself in parenthood. It's good to try to address this! You are still really young, so it can be resolved.
Start with what you liked before pregnancy--what were your hobbies and interests? Travel is always a good conversation topic, so that's something to consider. |