I have no interests outside of my children

[Anonymous]

I am 31 y/o and quickly starting to realize that I have no interests outside of my kids. Anytime I am with friends, I really have nothing to talk about besides my kids. Everyone else has discussions on TV series, etc., and I don’t watch any of that because I don’t really have the time. I don’t even know what I actually like! I then start to have major FOMO because I feel like I’m boring and am not a value add to my friend groups. Has anyone BTDT?

[Anonymous]

What else do they talk about besides TV shows?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you think you have time?

Regardless of the motivation, I think critical for every parent--especially moms, given the societal pressure we face (forgive me if you're a dad)--to continue being a "grown up." Look for a few hours here and there to read a book or go to an art show, to start. Whatever sounds fun.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? You need to make time for Ted Lasso!

I read for 15-20 min before bed. It's not a lot, but I like reading novels. I'm in a book club.

Take your family hiking, explore DC museums.

[Anonymous]

Are you a “I have to lay down with my kids for them to sleep” type or something? In what universe do you have no time? Your kids go to bed at what time and you go to bed at what time? How old are your kids? Do they not attend school? Do they never play with other kids or each other?

[Anonymous]

Do you work? Go out with your DH and try new restaurants? Read?

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad. Truth is, the child rearing years are very encompassing. All my friends that have young children, pretty much disappear the first 10 or so years. Once the kids get older, the parents "re-emerge." It's just life, embrace it.

[Anonymous]

I think OP has kids and maybe her friends don’t yet. She’s 31. I remember that phase where the people with kids were living a very different life than friends who were still single or married with no kids. OP, it gets better as some of this stuff shakes out a bit in one direction or another for everyone over the next few years. In the meantime, people love to talk about themselves! Ask about their summer plans, book recommendations, if they have found any great new life hacks, whether their office environment is toxic, etc.

[Anonymous]

If i had 31 year old energy (barring health issues) i would get so much more done. Im 42 with little kids and WOH and i still fond a ton of time to read, watch news, watch tv and volunteer etc.

[Anonymous]

Damn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What else do they talk about besides TV shows?

Nothing they are just as vapid

[Anonymous]

What were your interests before kids?

[Anonymous]

OP, I have been a sahm for many years and now I am a SAH wife. I truly found my purpose in life once I had kids. I exposed them to all the hobbies, interests, passions, causes and pet project that I was interested in, and mainly that's how I raised them.

I have no FOMO to be with other people because my kids were more interesting, entertaining and a better use of my time. Of course, I was never ever without company because others joined me in outings, activities as well as socializing.

My kids and I were explorers and there was very little that DMV offered that we did not explore or immerse ourselves in be it -museums, theatre, hikes, daytrips, eating out, classes, cooking, sports, travelling, craft, reading books, movies and documentaries, music and dance, socializing, hosting - etc, we have done it all.

When my kids became older we were discussing politics, science, art, existential questions, all the concerns of day to day life, school, college etc. I am never bored.

My days are full with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP has kids and maybe her friends don’t yet. She’s 31. I remember that phase where the people with kids were living a very different life than friends who were still single or married with no kids. OP, it gets better as some of this stuff shakes out a bit in one direction or another for everyone over the next few years. In the meantime, people love to talk about themselves! Ask about their summer plans, book recommendations, if they have found any great new life hacks, whether their office environment is toxic, etc.

OP here and yes, I forgot that detail. My friends do not have kids, and I have three children from 1 year old to 8 years old. I do like the idea of asking about what they have going on. I just feel like they all have discussions about travel, shows, interests, etc., and I’m like a deer in headlights with nothing to add.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were your interests before kids?

That’s another issue…I had my first child so young that I never really had a chance to be on my own or figure out what I liked, etc. My husband and I married young, had our first child young, so my entire adult life has been focused there.