New VA trans policies for schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So thankful that my BIL & SIL who moved my niece to VA from TX in late 2022 kept the fact that she's trans on the down-low. She's very 'passing' as she's been on hormones for years. FERPA prevents the admins, who do know, from disclosing.

My niece is a cheerleader in the fall & winter and plays girl's soccer in the spring. She uses the girl's locker room and girl's bathrooms. She's a lifeguard this summer. She has friends and dates and currently has a boyfriend. She's living her best teen life and loves that she "occupies so much time & space in the hater's heads" by simply existing.

So her parents know she is trans and are working with admin to make sure she is being treated as a girl. See that’s the way it should be. What should not happen is for a school to affirm a child’s gender identity without that child’s parents being involved in the decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So thankful that my BIL & SIL who moved my niece to VA from TX in late 2022 kept the fact that she's trans on the down-low. She's very 'passing' as she's been on hormones for years. FERPA prevents the admins, who do know, from disclosing.

My niece is a cheerleader in the fall & winter and plays girl's soccer in the spring. She uses the girl's locker room and girl's bathrooms. She's a lifeguard this summer. She has friends and dates and currently has a boyfriend. She's living her best teen life and loves that she "occupies so much time & space in the hater's heads" by simply existing.

So her parents know she is trans and are working with admin to make sure she is being treated as a girl. See that’s the way it should be. What should not happen is for a school to affirm a child’s gender identity without that child’s parents being involved in the decision.

+1

That seems like the system working? Not sure how that has relevance to the issue of teachers making what we are told is a life-threatening decision to either affirm or not affirm without parental involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So thankful that my BIL & SIL who moved my niece to VA from TX in late 2022 kept the fact that she's trans on the down-low. She's very 'passing' as she's been on hormones for years. FERPA prevents the admins, who do know, from disclosing.

My niece is a cheerleader in the fall & winter and plays girl's soccer in the spring. She uses the girl's locker room and girl's bathrooms. She's a lifeguard this summer. She has friends and dates and currently has a boyfriend. She's living her best teen life and loves that she "occupies so much time & space in the hater's heads" by simply existing.

So her parents know she is trans and are working with admin to make sure she is being treated as a girl. See that’s the way it should be. What should not happen is for a school to affirm a child’s gender identity without that child’s parents being involved in the decision.

+1

That seems like the system working? Not sure how that has relevance to the issue of teachers making what we are told is a life-threatening decision to either affirm or not affirm without parental involvement.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think that if it is indeed true that not calling a child by their preferred name will lead to the child’s suicide, that is a grave medical risk that properly needs to be immediately disclosed to parents.

My kid had a warning sent home when her teacher thought she wasn’t seeing the board properly. Teachers regularly flag potential injuries with far less impact. The idea of a teacher believing that not using a name will lead to a child’s suicide but then not disclosing that to the parents is actually horrifying.

Yup that is exactly what progressives want. And when and adult, especially one in authority have vulnerable children keep secrets from their parents, telling them that they are the only grown-ups that really care and understand them is the exact M.O. of grooming.

Look at every case of adults preying on children, they all follow this recipe. Priests, boy scout leaders, etc all did this to horrific ends.

But for some reason, teachers seem to think they are different when using the same approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think that if it is indeed true that not calling a child by their preferred name will lead to the child’s suicide, that is a grave medical risk that properly needs to be immediately disclosed to parents.

My kid had a warning sent home when her teacher thought she wasn’t seeing the board properly. Teachers regularly flag potential injuries with far less impact. The idea of a teacher believing that not using a name will lead to a child’s suicide but then not disclosing that to the parents is actually horrifying.

Yes it’s really strange logic wise. You have teachers here saying that they will call students by their preferred pronouns because not affirming the students’ gender identity increases the risk of suicide. But then also say that they will not tell the parents because it’s just like a nickname and they have no time to talk to the parents about it. What???? How does this make any sense?

It makes sense if you stop being "all this" or "all that" and realize that not all students will be suicidal. In the instances where a student IS that severely mentally distressed, the teacher would alert the appropriate people just like they are supposed to regardless of the REASON for the distress. If a teacher suspects a student is suicidal - for ANY reason - they'll follow prescribed procedures. Nobody is saying that every trans/questioning/whatever student who isn't called by their preferred pronoun or name is going to be suicidal because a teacher doesn't call them by their preferred pronoun or name. It isn't the NICKNAME teachers need to report to parents - it's the danger of self-harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think that if it is indeed true that not calling a child by their preferred name will lead to the child’s suicide, that is a grave medical risk that properly needs to be immediately disclosed to parents.

My kid had a warning sent home when her teacher thought she wasn’t seeing the board properly. Teachers regularly flag potential injuries with far less impact. The idea of a teacher believing that not using a name will lead to a child’s suicide but then not disclosing that to the parents is actually horrifying.

Yup that is exactly what progressives want. And when and adult, especially one in authority have vulnerable children keep secrets from their parents, telling them that they are the only grown-ups that really care and understand them is the exact M.O. of grooming.

Look at every case of adults preying on children, they all follow this recipe. Priests, boy scout leaders, etc all did this to horrific ends.

But for some reason, teachers seem to think they are different when using the same approach.

Teachers don't go into the profession so they can prey on children (except the individual child molesters who seek out professions and opportunities to put themselves in position to do so - and teachers as a group are not those people). Grooming is an intentional and proactive pursuit. Teachers honoring a student's request to use a pronoun or name is not grooming. Grooming also would involve the teacher telling the child to keep the secret, not the other way around. Teachers are not picking children, buddying up to them, asking students who have never considered their gender identity whether they are aware they can change and then encourage and show them how to go about doing it. Teachers aren't looking around and asking kids if they'd like to be called by some name the teacher suggests or pronoun the teacher suggests. That's ludicrous. Grooming is initiated by the groomer. Trans kids asking teachers to call them something different is initiated by the trans kid. And unless the child tells the teacher or the teacher asks the parents, they have no way of knowing whether or not the parents are aware. Or at least they didn't - now they will because they have to have written permission from the parent to honor a student's request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So thankful that my BIL & SIL who moved my niece to VA from TX in late 2022 kept the fact that she's trans on the down-low. She's very 'passing' as she's been on hormones for years. FERPA prevents the admins, who do know, from disclosing.

My niece is a cheerleader in the fall & winter and plays girl's soccer in the spring. She uses the girl's locker room and girl's bathrooms. She's a lifeguard this summer. She has friends and dates and currently has a boyfriend. She's living her best teen life and loves that she "occupies so much time & space in the hater's heads" by simply existing.

So her parents know she is trans and are working with admin to make sure she is being treated as a girl. See that’s the way it should be. What should not happen is for a school to affirm a child’s gender identity without that child’s parents being involved in the decision.

No. The new guidelines would prevent her from being a cheerleader, soccer, bathrooms, and locker rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think that if it is indeed true that not calling a child by their preferred name will lead to the child’s suicide, that is a grave medical risk that properly needs to be immediately disclosed to parents.

My kid had a warning sent home when her teacher thought she wasn’t seeing the board properly. Teachers regularly flag potential injuries with far less impact. The idea of a teacher believing that not using a name will lead to a child’s suicide but then not disclosing that to the parents is actually horrifying.

Yes it’s really strange logic wise. You have teachers here saying that they will call students by their preferred pronouns because not affirming the students’ gender identity increases the risk of suicide. But then also say that they will not tell the parents because it’s just like a nickname and they have no time to talk to the parents about it. What???? How does this make any sense?

It makes sense if you stop being "all this" or "all that" and realize that not all students will be suicidal. In the instances where a student IS that severely mentally distressed, the teacher would alert the appropriate people just like they are supposed to regardless of the REASON for the distress. If a teacher suspects a student is suicidal - for ANY reason - they'll follow prescribed procedures. Nobody is saying that every trans/questioning/whatever student who isn't called by their preferred pronoun or name is going to be suicidal because a teacher doesn't call them by their preferred pronoun or name. It isn't the NICKNAME teachers need to report to parents - it's the danger of self-harm.

There are people in this thread who have literally said that teachers using the preferred name will reduce suicidality significantly. That is not at all in line with what you wrote above.

If the use or lack of use of a preferred name can indeed have such a dramatic impact on student suicidality, that is a critical health marker that needs to be immediately disclosed. In fact, it is morally and ethically appalling that teachers want to hide that use from parents.

[Anonymous]

This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

[Anonymous]

The Constitution is very very short. Many people are surprised to find this out. Which part of it exactly affirms the right of someone born male to use a girl’s bathroom?

I don’t actually think people want to bring the Constitution into this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Constitution is very very short. Many people are surprised to find this out. Which part of it exactly affirms the right of someone born male to use a girl’s bathroom?

I don’t actually think people want to bring the Constitution into this.

Privacy - 4th amendment unreasonable search includes genitalia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Constitution is very very short. Many people are surprised to find this out. Which part of it exactly affirms the right of someone born male to use a girl’s bathroom?

I don’t actually think people want to bring the Constitution into this.

Privacy - 4th amendment unreasonable search includes genitalia

The 4th Amendment: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The police are not searching trans children's genitalia. Even if a school official makes a physical examination of students, for purposes of bathroom usage, that is not covered by the Fourth Amendment. It's not about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Constitution is very very short. Many people are surprised to find this out. Which part of it exactly affirms the right of someone born male to use a girl’s bathroom?

I don’t actually think people want to bring the Constitution into this.

Privacy - 4th amendment unreasonable search includes genitalia

The 4th Amendment: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The police are not searching trans children's genitalia. Even if a school official makes a physical examination of students, for purposes of bathroom usage, that is not covered by the Fourth Amendment. It's not about that.

Not to mention, are we talking about a child or a parent? None of this is in, or protected by, the Constitution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Constitution is very very short. Many people are surprised to find this out. Which part of it exactly affirms the right of someone born male to use a girl’s bathroom?

I don’t actually think people want to bring the Constitution into this.

Privacy - 4th amendment unreasonable search includes genitalia

Then we are super lucky that mammals can tell the difference between the sexes without having to search the genital area.