Infantilizing young adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't forget the parents who have the tracker set up on their kid's phone. Oh right, that is for safety.

Parents are paying for the car, phone, gas and insurance.

20 years ago, college kids weren’t on their parents health insurance.

And?

[Anonymous]

Idk but a lot of people under 21 look to be on their 30s.

[yamajo6706]

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't forget the parents who have the tracker set up on their kid's phone. Oh right, that is for safety.

Parents are paying for the car, phone, gas and insurance.

20 years ago, college kids weren’t on their parents health insurance.

Manipulation and control with $$$?

+1
While I understand worrying about y oh r young adult child, some of these replies seem like they may cross into narcissistic behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk if I'm in a bubble or what but it seems parents want to keep their 2+2 family unit intact for as long as they can by postponing steps like leaving home, having a serious romantic relationship, working etc. They keep suggesting staying at home, not taking steps in any romantic relationship, getting more degrees before starting work .... guess unintentionally extending adolescence for keeping birth family their center.

+1. Along with keeping the birth family center is boomers’ refusal to retire. My 44 year old GS-15 DH has a boss who is in her late 60s but won’t retire because she’s too young, needs to pay off vacation home, support adult children, etc. She also thinks he’s a youngster because our kids are in elementary school. Apparently he’s not an adult until our kids are in college. I think boomers are afraid of finding a new purpose in life. They think having grown independent kids=uselessness=one step closer to the grave.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk but a lot of people under 21 look to be on their 30s.

Kids these days don’t smoke or drink anywhere near as much as their parents did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

Wow. What a brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

Wow. What a brat.

Nonsense. No adult needs a congratulatory trip to Disney with mommy and daddy. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 19 & 21 year old are on my insurance, we pay for cell phone plan (but not the phone) because it doesn't cost us anything extra, and we pay college tuition.

Outside of that they are on their own. We treat them like adults. When they live with us, they are expected to be respectful of general household hours (no loud noises or friends over during the work week), and pick up after themselves.

I don't involve myself beyond what is needed. However, I agree that as a whole this area (DMV) definitely infantilizes young adults. It's absolutely not that way for the vast majority of the country.

Yes it is suburbia all over the country is the same

NP. No it’s not, my 18-25 year old nieces and nephews, who live in the Midwest, got jobs at 15, are driving as soon as they’re old enough (out of necessity) and are contributing financially to college tuition & rent. This one isn’t necessarily a sign of maturity, but the ones around 25 are getting married and buying houses.

Very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's up with society's obsession with infantilizing young adults. Shouldn't 21+ people be making their own decisions? I see parents deciding or pressurizing about grad plans, professions, living situation, dating age, marriage age etc etc. When did our country became India or Saudi Arabia?

Do you make all your own decisions or do you consult your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a physician with 3 kids in the 21-25 age bracket and despite their being on my insurance, I appropriately have NO access to their health records and all I can see is location of services and date. So while one could glean a bit of knowledge from billing statements, they must consent for you to see any true health records.

So if one was having a surgery for cancer you would not attend dr appointments, do research and help them decide the best treatment plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't forget the parents who have the tracker set up on their kid's phone. Oh right, that is for safety.

Parents are paying for the car, phone, gas and insurance.

20 years ago, college kids weren’t on their parents health insurance.

My parents paid my health insurance until I graduated college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with society's obsession with infantilizing young adults. Shouldn't 21+ people be making their own decisions? I see parents deciding or pressurizing about grad plans, professions, living situation, dating age, marriage age etc etc. When did our country became India or Saudi Arabia?

Do you make all your own decisions or do you consult your spouse?

Giving a consult and forcing a decision are two different things.