S/O disrespectful teen on the metro? What are we as parents doing wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids see trashy behavior modeled at home. Kids act trashy. It's not complicated.

Some of this, and sometimes, it's because even though the parent may not behave this way in front of the teen, the parent also probably doesn't do much in terms of disciplining their unruly teen, or at least tried to do it too late. And other times, the teen is just a jerk no matter what. I think the last example is few and far between though. Most of the time, it's either of the first two cases.

[Anonymous]

Just because one kid is a jerk on the metro doesn't mean we are failing anymore today than some of us were yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just going to be honest - When we moved to DC, my kids' teachers and their their friends' parents were constantly commenting on how well-behaved and well-mannered my children were. I truly didn't understand it. They are just typical kids. After living here for a few months, it made total sense. Y'all don't raise your kids with manners. You just don't. I don't why. I don't know when it started. I don't understand it. But you have failed to teach your kids basic consideration for others. It has nothing at all to do with money or social status. It's just the way the kids in DC are raised.

My kids would never dream of not offering a seat on the metro to an adult. They open doors. They say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They aren't loud in public. AND - and this is important - There is absolutely nothing special about their behavior. Everyone in our hometown raises their kids to be polite. I'm not suggesting that they are perfect. They get in trouble just like all kids. But they are never, ever, ever disrespectful towards adults. I have never in my 26 years of parenting (my youngest is 16) received a phone call from a school saying my child was disrespectful or disobedient. Not one time in 26 years and with 5 kids. Our kids may break rules and push limits. But there were raised to be respectful, kind, and considerate. Y'all miss the mark on this.

I think everyone is saying it is poor parenting. Though who is raising kids like this and why is the question? Is it cultural to DC? An urban environment? Shall we excite it and just say kids are kids?

Not all kids behave respectfully

[Anonymous]

The real problem is African American teens. The mentality that we, as African Americans, need to still fight and prove ourselves like that of slavery days. Sadly it will never go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just going to be honest - When we moved to DC, my kids' teachers and their their friends' parents were constantly commenting on how well-behaved and well-mannered my children were. I truly didn't understand it. They are just typical kids. After living here for a few months, it made total sense. Y'all don't raise your kids with manners. You just don't. I don't why. I don't know when it started. I don't understand it. But you have failed to teach your kids basic consideration for others. It has nothing at all to do with money or social status. It's just the way the kids in DC are raised.

My kids would never dream of not offering a seat on the metro to an adult. They open doors. They say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They aren't loud in public. AND - and this is important - There is absolutely nothing special about their behavior. Everyone in our hometown raises their kids to be polite. I'm not suggesting that they are perfect. They get in trouble just like all kids. But they are never, ever, ever disrespectful towards adults. I have never in my 26 years of parenting (my youngest is 16) received a phone call from a school saying my child was disrespectful or disobedient. Not one time in 26 years and with 5 kids. Our kids may break rules and push limits. But there were raised to be respectful, kind, and considerate. Y'all miss the mark on this.

I think everyone is saying it is poor parenting. Though who is raising kids like this and why is the question? Is it cultural to DC? An urban environment? Shall we excite it and just say kids are kids?

Not all kids behave respectfully

First PP, I've been a parent for 25 years. One is still rude, disrespectful, irresponsible, etc. His brother? The opposite.

Although I do think the "don't say no to your kids" etc. is having an effect. If the now teens have been raised so gently, having explanations and given chances to make better choices etc... why are they acting no better than their predecessors? In some cases worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because one kid is a jerk on the metro doesn't mean we are failing anymore today than some of us were yesterday.

exactly
exactly!!
and i don't see you folks talking about the grown ass men cussing each other about being shoved or blocking the door.
i'm talking about 3 piece suited, backpack, briefcase wearing, iphone ihaving grown ass 40 yr old men
or the grown ass men and women drinking their starbucks and 7-11 coffee
grown ass men who refuse to look up or look dead in the face of a woman but won't let her have her seat
and I'VE SEEN PLENTY OF YOUNG MEN(VERY OFTEN TEENAGE/YOUNG ADULT BLACK YOUNG MEN) offering up their seats
so you can miss me with the all black teens are delinquent and have no manners when I see the same type of behaviour from grown folks
putting a suit on it doesn't make crap a crown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real problem is African American teens. The mentality that we, as African Americans, need to still fight and prove ourselves like that of slavery days. Sadly it will never go away.

Yeah ok.. fight the power eat food on the metro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real problem is African American teens. The mentality that we, as African Americans, need to still fight and prove ourselves like that of slavery days. Sadly it will never go away.

This is so not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real problem is African American teens. The mentality that we, as African Americans, need to still fight and prove ourselves like that of slavery days. Sadly it will never go away.

Yeah ok.. fight the power eat food on the metro

exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real problem is African American teens. The mentality that we, as African Americans, need to still fight and prove ourselves like that of slavery days. Sadly it will never go away.

Yeah ok.. fight the power eat food on the metro

exactly

I think you are mis reading. The poster is saying that the defensiveness type behavior comes from the days of slavery when people would have to always prove themselves. This culture and attitude persists in AA culture and if i am reading it right is ont of the things that holds them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many teens in this area that are so obnoxious, so disrespectful and I think it comes down to parents in most cases. Rich, middle class and poor alike. Students harassing and bullying teachers is common occurrence today, and then often parents taking kid's side rather than disciplining the kid. What do you think we should do differently, why are there so many kids who feel they can insult and bully teachers, parents, police officers? What are we doing wrong? Teens were always rebellious and there was always talking back, but I think now it is becoming like a contagious disease with no boundaries. What should we as parents do?

Ever been in and around the Tenley metro when Wilson HS lets out? OMG.

[Anonymous]

It's us as a community that is doing wrong for ignoring poor behavior in public and not calling out the kids.

In the olden days - 1980s - neighbors and friends parents would tell us if we broke rules or behaved improperly.

I never see this anymor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So teenage rebellion , defiance, etc is brand new? It's an appropriate developmental stage that helps the kids separate from parents, grow up, find themselves. Romeo and Juliet were pretty rebellious; they just didn't have the metro

Why don't you read the whole post before answering? Clearly I stated that this happens at home and it happened in the past. Occasional tenn would be difficult at school and in public, but I feel that today(based on many personal experiences here in DC) teens are bullying teachers, yelling at parents of their friends, not just regular teen rebellion and not just a kid here and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because one kid is a jerk on the metro doesn't mean we are failing anymore today than some of us were yesterday.

Oh, please, one kid? You might not have exposure to teens in DC hence the ignorance. Teens are not just regular jerks anymore, they are now screaming and yelling and insulting. I personally witnessed a girl not wanting to wait in line for the restroom, being told where the line ends and then proceed to go in and swear at the adults in line and call them stupid for waiting, and who is going to stop her. Then her mom showed up and adults told her what was happening, she asked her if this is true, girl denied it and mom started swearing at the people in line and yelling at them not to talk to her kid. Just one example among many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because one kid is a jerk on the metro doesn't mean we are failing anymore today than some of us were yesterday.

exactly
exactly!!
and i don't see you folks talking about the grown ass men cussing each other about being shoved or blocking the door.
i'm talking about 3 piece suited, backpack, briefcase wearing, iphone ihaving grown ass 40 yr old men
or the grown ass men and women drinking their starbucks and 7-11 coffee
grown ass men who refuse to look up or look dead in the face of a woman but won't let her have her seat
and I'VE SEEN PLENTY OF YOUNG MEN(VERY OFTEN TEENAGE/YOUNG ADULT BLACK YOUNG MEN) offering up their seats
so you can miss me with the all black teens are delinquent and have no manners when I see the same type of behaviour from grown folks
putting a suit on it doesn't make crap a crown

I am OP and I have no clue what your rant is about. I asked as this incident added to many I've seen myself. Apart from one AA girl who is extremely bad behaved that I know personally, all the rest of the teens I see behaving badly are white.