millennials terrible parents

[Anonymous]

My millennial parenting is also shaped by the generation of kids we’re raising.

They are .. am I allowed to say .. crazy.

If boomers had gen alpha kids, they’d also go crazy. There would be belts hung on the wall for these kids. And frequently used.

I am border stern / gentle depending on the situation.

Open to conversation, but my own tween doesn’t want it. I WISHED my mom was open.

It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Millennials are more likely to be gentle, authoritative parents. To Boomers who are used to authoritarian parenting, it probably seems weak - but I bet Millennials’ offspring spend less time in therapy as adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I though millennials were helicopters who hover too close and don't let their children make independent decisions.

Boomers let their children run feral around the neighborhood and settle fights without any adult supervision or intervention.

That's Gen X and parents who are currently teens/college/young adults.

Millennial parents are all about gentle parenting and let their kids get away with everything - they are also constantly looking for excuses (including lots of over diagnosing) for their children's behavior. It's why there is such a huge crisis in education right now, so many teachers are leaving because they can't handle these entitled children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennials are more likely to be gentle, authoritative parents. To Boomers who are used to authoritarian parenting, it probably seems weak - but I bet Millennials’ offspring spend less time in therapy as adults.

The problem is that the authoritative part is missing.

[Anonymous]

I don't trust the judgment of anyone who thinks the solution to any parenting issue is "a good ass whoopin'". It's 2023. If you don't yet know that hitting kids is a sign of weak, insecure parenting, then you need to start over.

Some millennial parents are too lenient. But I feel like that's always been the case. There were kids in my neighborhood and school growing up who didn't have rules and whose parents were super hands off, and all the other parents complained about them back then, too. This was the 80s. People used complain back then about parents wanting to be their kids best friend, or giving them whatever they want, or not teaching basic manners. You'll probably find complaints like this going back further than this, too.

[Anonymous]

My sister's kids are very difficult to be around for more than an hour at a time because she believes in gentle parenting which means no telling them no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think part of it is that to survive these days, most families have to have both parents working. It’s very difficult to get by on a single income.

And I think when neither parent spends full days with their kids, they don’t develop the skills needed to parent them effectively. So they go the path of least resistance, let them have screens, snowplow for them, do what they need to do to get through the day.

I think studies show that stay at home moms in earlier eras spent less time with their kids not more.

To me, the bigger issue is that kids can no longer roam outside independently, so they expect their parents to act as entertainers. Parents can't possibly keep that up, so screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think part of it is that to survive these days, most families have to have both parents working. It’s very difficult to get by on a single income.

And I think when neither parent spends full days with their kids, they don’t develop the skills needed to parent them effectively. So they go the path of least resistance, let them have screens, snowplow for them, do what they need to do to get through the day.

I think studies show that stay at home moms in earlier eras spent less time with their kids not more.

To me, the bigger issue is that kids can no longer roam outside independently, so they expect their parents to act as entertainers. Parents can't possibly keep that up, so screens.

NP. This, and also social media has made parents much more invested in engineering and managing their kids’ friendships, so they can tag the “right” families in trick-or-treating photos, or whatever. When all the kids used to roam the neighborhood independently, everyone played with everyone. It was just a matter of who you ran into, not who your parents thought you should play with. This leaves us with a lot of lonely kids these days, so again, screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think part of it is that to survive these days, most families have to have both parents working. It’s very difficult to get by on a single income.

And I think when neither parent spends full days with their kids, they don’t develop the skills needed to parent them effectively. So they go the path of least resistance, let them have screens, snowplow for them, do what they need to do to get through the day.

+1

[Anonymous]

One way that I think the millennial generation can change their parenting in a productive way is to require their children to contribute to the household more. Two parents are typically working to pay for a middle class (or lower) life. That's reality.

That means that kids should be doing dishes, prepping meals, folding laundry, taking out the trash, walking the dog etc.

But honestly, we've been set up to fail. Told to be super responsive to our kids as infants, no one told us when and why to transition away from that as they got older. So we have an epidemic of coddled entitled children. And we have devices to distract us endless, child and adult alike.

Time to start changing things.

[Anonymous]

Most Millennial raised kids I've seen are sitting quietly in the corner on their tablet.

[Anonymous]

I try to parent the way my boomer parents did it. My siblings and I turned out fine so I’m hopeful my kids will as well. I do see plenty of my friends over indulging their children, being helicopter parents and avoiding any discipline.

[Anonymous]

Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

You don’t have to subscribe to what’s the parenting trend du jour is. Trust your instincts. It’s ok to yell sometimes. It’s ok to lose your cool. It’s good for your kids to see you as a human with normal emotions. It’s good for them to see you mess up a bit and correct course. I dare say it’s even good for them to feel a tiny bit of that long lost emotion called shame in some cases. I’m not sure who you were expecting to tell you these things. Learning to parents is a process. When something’s not working for you, try something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because no one has told us how to parent! We get not to spank or yell, but gentle parenting is HELL ON EARTH for parents. I think gentle parenting is leading the mental health crisis. But yes, let me stay calm and sane while kids tantrum, throw things and won't do anything you tell them to do. I think to effectively gentle parent you need to be on Prozac or Valium. We talk about emotions nonstop with our kids and what to do when they have big feelings.

Well you know what? Mommy has big feelings about no one ever listening, about the house being a disaster, about you not eating dinner, about you hitting me. Clearly no one cares about parents though and we're just the sacrificial lambs to gentle parenting. I have a feeling by the time millennials are done parenting, we're going to be so checked out that we'll never be able to grandparent or see our kids again as adults. Or we'll be in the psych wards.

You don’t have to subscribe to what’s the parenting trend du jour is. Trust your instincts. It’s ok to yell sometimes. It’s ok to lose your cool. It’s good for your kids to see you as a human with normal emotions. It’s good for them to see you mess up a bit and correct course. I dare say it’s even good for them to feel a tiny bit of that long lost emotion called shame in some cases. I’m not sure who you were expecting to tell you these things. Learning to parents is a process. When something’s not working for you, try something different.

I doubt it. Go listen to What Gen Z is saying about Gen X parenting. They're ALL in therapy over the one time their parents yelled.