Former boss trying to figure out where I went after I quit

[Anonymous]

I quit my job a few weeks ago. Ever since i resigned, my former skip level boss (my boss’ boss) has been viewing my LinkedIn profile every day like clockwork. Every. Single. Day.

I have friends at my old work and they are telling me he keeps pestering them about where I went. Multiple times a week.

I did not have a food relationship with this man. He has been obsessed with me for a long time. He would often text my cell phone after hours and invite me to spend time with him outside work. I tried to have a good relationship with him for years, but when I stopped playing along and engaging in our “friendship”, he tried to get me fired. This was 6 months before I quit.

I am really concerned that he is trying to sabotage my future employment options. Is there any way I can manage this? The truth is I don’t have a new job and kept things vague when I resigned (said I was still “finalizing details” and “didn’t want to jinx it”).

[Anonymous]

Block him on LinkedIn. And stay quiet re: future job/where you go. Let his boss know he's behaving this way (hopefully you have a paper trail?) if it gets worse. If not, just move on.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Sounds like he's fixated on you. Agree with PP that you should just block him. Don't try to "manage it" -- you really can't manage people like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block him on LinkedIn. And stay quiet re: future job/where you go. Let his boss know he's behaving this way (hopefully you have a paper trail?) if it gets worse. If not, just move on.

Op here. I did finally block him on LinkedIn, but I have all the previous views documented.

I’m definitely staying quiet. He is an extremely angry man and we did not leave on good terms. I’m concerned he’s hoping to sabotage my future employment.

I did previously let his boss know about how he was treating me but unfortunately his boss backed him unequivocally and wouldn’t even let me get my story out before saying I was lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Sounds like he's fixated on you. Agree with PP that you should just block him. Don't try to "manage it" -- you really can't manage people like that.

Op here. He is definitely fixated and a very angry person so I’m feeling nervous about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Sounds like he's fixated on you. Agree with PP that you should just block him. Don't try to "manage it" -- you really can't manage people like that.

Op here. He is definitely fixated and a very angry person so I’m feeling nervous about this.

You can get a restraining order if he actually contacts your new employer. That will show up on a public record for him, but not for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Sounds like he's fixated on you. Agree with PP that you should just block him. Don't try to "manage it" -- you really can't manage people like that.

Op here. He is definitely fixated and a very angry person so I’m feeling nervous about this.

You can get a restraining order if he actually contacts your new employer. That will show up on a public record for him, but not for you.

Op here. This is a great idea but could I really succeed in getting one solely on the basis of him contacting my new employer? We haven’t had ANY contact with each otjer (well, besides the obsessive LinkedIn views) since the big dust up at work about 6 months ago.

[Anonymous]

You can likely sue him if he contacts a future employer. There’s a reason most references only share employment dates of past employees.

[Anonymous]

How do you lock someone on LinkedIn? What do they see when they look you up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you lock someone on LinkedIn? What do they see when they look you up?

Op here. They can see whatever you’ve decided to publish on there and depending on your privacy settings.

In my case, that means employment history and education and maybe my connections and comments/people I follow.

I haven’t yet updated my LinkedIn to reflect that I’ve left my old position. I know I need to but just feel upset about all of it. I wondered if he might be taking screenshots and sharing them with HR or something, saying I have to update my page. I intend to but it’s only been 10 days since I left.

I also wondered if he’s angry or disagrees about how I characterized my role on LinkedIn. We are both attorneys and our practice areas intersected. He was technically in charge of practice areas but I was actually leading them with zero support or input on them and my experience description reflects the work I was doing but maybe makes him feel like I’m stepping on his toes.

[Anonymous]

You do not have to update your linked in page ever, and they cannot make you. Personally, I'd delete it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not have to update your linked in page ever, and they cannot make you. Personally, I'd delete it.

Op here. It sucks but I do feel like it has some level of utility for networking kinds of things. I plan to update it soon but was hoping to have landed something new before indicating I left my old role.

[Anonymous]

Send a note to him, but misadressed to his boss and with misleading sender info, thanking him for reaching out on LinkedIn, interested in next steps for interview, yadda yadda...

[Anonymous]

Ask your friends to tell HR about his prying behind. HR won't want him stirring up trouble with an employee who left on bad terms. Creates risk.

[Anonymous]

He may be trying to see if you are working for a competitor and violating any non-compete clauses so he can sue you. Lay low for a loooong time until it all blows over. Stay off all social media and make sure you aren't easily googleable.