Wife's bad breath, doesn't shower enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

I actually lived in Europe for several years. They're common in Southern Europe but are pretty rare in Northern Europe. If you were as cultured as you seem to think you are then you'd never use "Europe" in a sentence like that - it's something that ignorant Americans do and it just makes you sound like an idiot.

Most people who use a bidet do use soap, but most people that I've seen with a hose next to the toilet do not ever use soap, they just spray filthy water everywhere.

And I really don't think that anyone who doesn't shower daily should be calling anyone else gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

I understand the concept of putting yourself last, but holy moly PP, you need a reality check.

You have ONE toddler. And a DH who lives with you. You can shower every day. Yes, even for 20 minutes.

Don't pick up toys in the evening. As you said, you need to do it again tomorrow anyway. Or do what every other SAHP does and teach your kid to pick up toys on their own as they are done playing with them. I taught my kids that from the age of 12 months. And yes, it works.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a prissy metro sexual with a wee little wiener

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

I actually lived in Europe for several years. They're common in Southern Europe but are pretty rare in Northern Europe. If you were as cultured as you seem to think you are then you'd never use "Europe" in a sentence like that - it's something that ignorant Americans do and it just makes you sound like an idiot.

Most people who use a bidet do use soap, but most people that I've seen with a hose next to the toilet do not ever use soap, they just spray filthy water everywhere.

And I really don't think that anyone who doesn't shower daily should be calling anyone else gross.

I am European and trust me on my country and in France EVERYONE uses soap with their bidet. You know nothing... I bet I am much cleaner than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

I actually lived in Europe for several years. They're common in Southern Europe but are pretty rare in Northern Europe. If you were as cultured as you seem to think you are then you'd never use "Europe" in a sentence like that - it's something that ignorant Americans do and it just makes you sound like an idiot.

Most people who use a bidet do use soap, but most people that I've seen with a hose next to the toilet do not ever use soap, they just spray filthy water everywhere.

And I really don't think that anyone who doesn't shower daily should be calling anyone else gross.

You are funny. Don’t argue with an European about European costumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Sorry, that's crazy. What kind of toddler do you need that requires round-the-clock care? Doesn't your child nap? Doesn't he/she go to bed before you?

I have a 7-year old, a 3-year old and a newborn. Somehow I manage to get to the shower every day. I would be disgusted with myself if I could shower only twice a week. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you that you don't have time. You just don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting thread. If either one of us has bad breath, we simply tell the other person.

Husband approaches wife and goes in for a kiss, wife smells bad breath and says "oooh, stinky" then avoids kiss. Husband grabs boob instead and gets some water or goes brushes his teeth. Problem solved.

I like this plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Gross. I have five children. Five. And I shower at least once a day. Usually twice. There is no excuse at all for not taking a shower. You have one toddler. You are making a choice to be lazy. Or you're depressed. Either way, you need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Gross. I have five children. Five. And I shower at least once a day. Usually twice. There is no excuse at all for not taking a shower. You have one toddler. You are making a choice to be lazy. Or you're depressed. Either way, you need help.

Why are you getting “everything together for DH’s morning routine”? What does that even mean? He’s a grown man and can do whatever this is himself. You can use this time to shower, shave, and make yourself fresh and presentable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Gross. I have five children. Five. And I shower at least once a day. Usually twice. There is no excuse at all for not taking a shower. You have one toddler. You are making a choice to be lazy. Or you're depressed. Either way, you need help.

+1, this person doesn't need a "nudge," she needs help if she only showers twice a week. She should figure things out before having another kid, though that isn't going to happen anytime soon with her not showering and shaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Sorry, that's crazy. What kind of toddler do you need that requires round-the-clock care? Doesn't your child nap? Doesn't he/she go to bed before you?

I have a 7-year old, a 3-year old and a newborn. Somehow I manage to get to the shower every day. I would be disgusted with myself if I could shower only twice a week. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you that you don't have time. You just don't care.

I had a high maintenance toddler who needed supervision every second - turned out he was autistic. One of those toddlers equals 10 of your lady, believe me. No - he NEVER did nap unless I was holding him. Never.

PP - surely you can lock said toddler in the bathroom with you long enough to take a quick shower though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

First the problem was she showers every other day, and now it's that she doesn't shower twice a day? It sounds like you have some squeamishness around natural body odors if she showered in the morning but you'd like her to "freshen up" again before sex, and you do the same. That's overkill.

Well, she must know that she married OCD ‘Mr Clean’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I think it's a troll. The tipoff is the language used to describe sex. Men generally don't use timid euphemisms like "intimacy" and "relations" and don't refer to female genitals as "down there."

Maybe this is a lesbian couple.

[Anonymous]

THetes mo need to shower twice a day, PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Gross. I have five children. Five. And I shower at least once a day. Usually twice. There is no excuse at all for not taking a shower. You have one toddler. You are making a choice to be lazy. Or you're depressed. Either way, you need help.

Well, you may be clean but you take pleasure in people feel like s**t.