Wife's bad breath, doesn't shower enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Project much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

[Anonymous]

If you are that paranoid of upsetting your spouse that you can't confront them about something as basic as body odor then either you need to take some "Real Man" classes and learn how to grow a pair or y'all just ain't compatible period. Because decent partner would appreciate being told by their significant other how funky they are rather than suffer the shame/embarassment of some stranger telling them.
Sheesh y'all are so sensitive its ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

Oh and I forgot, we also use warm water dear... you should educate yourself before judging; it just makes you sound stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

Oh and I forgot, we also use warm water dear... you should educate yourself before judging; it just makes you sound stupid

Not to mention, the fact that PP compared poop to chicken is even more gross!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

Oh and I forgot, we also use warm water dear... you should educate yourself before judging; it just makes you sound stupid

Not to mention, the fact that PP compared poop to chicken is even more gross!

Setting aside the issue of what constitutes clean or not... washing your cutting board after it touches raw chicken is much different than washing down below after using the bathroom. I would make the assumption that those who are using their mouths on another person's genitals have ensured that person has just washed up, but otherwise - they're not "consuming" anything during traditional p in v intercourse, and not ingesting any bacteria. And if they get up after and wash their hands before eating, etc.... then that's the same as handling raw chicken.

Also to the first poster in this thread, your arms and legs DO sweat. It just evaporates because the skin is stretched open to the air, as opposed to your underarm, under-boob, butt crack, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

Oh and I forgot, we also use warm water dear... you should educate yourself before judging; it just makes you sound stupid

Not to mention, the fact that PP compared poop to chicken is even more gross!

Setting aside the issue of what constitutes clean or not... washing your cutting board after it touches raw chicken is much different than washing down below after using the bathroom. I would make the assumption that those who are using their mouths on another person's genitals have ensured that person has just washed up, but otherwise - they're not "consuming" anything during traditional p in v intercourse, and not ingesting any bacteria. And if they get up after and wash their hands before eating, etc.... then that's the same as handling raw chicken.

Also to the first poster in this thread, your arms and legs DO sweat. It just evaporates because the skin is stretched open to the air, as opposed to your underarm, under-boob, butt crack, etc.

Any body surface always has bacteria. You can't get rid of all of it, but you can decrease the amount. That's good.

Just don't fool yourself that you are fully sterilized anywhere. Even in the operating room with very sanitized skin, it isn't perfect. (Not unless you are autoclaved!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called a bidet people. Amazing how Americans are so fastidious about showering all the time and yet don’t have these in their homes to make sure their bottom parts are cleaned after every toilet visit. I also shower with my dh at night and then we have intimate time. Saves on time and water

+1. We had a little hose installed next to the toilet so we can wash our private parts often (2-3 times a day) without wasting water and time on the clean parts of my body. Why do I need to wash my legs or arms every day????? They don’t smell, sweat or get dirty. My legs can only get very dry if I wash them everyday. This is crazy. I do find it disgusting if people don’t wash their butts everytime they go to the bathroom; this is what is really dirty. European DW here

I love bidets! The Toto is a good option for americans. I'm hoping we invest in one when we upgrade our master bath.

Rinsing something with water is hardly “cleaning” it. Poop is mostly bacteria. Would you seriously just rinse things under cold water that had touched raw chicken in the kitchen and call them clean?? Gross. I’ll take my daily showers with soap and very warm water and friction and a lot of rinsing over your rinsing with water after every poop but hardly ever actually cleaning anything, thanks.

You have clearly never been to Europe or used a bidet (you are gross) we use soap with our bidet!!! Ahahah

Oh and I forgot, we also use warm water dear... you should educate yourself before judging; it just makes you sound stupid

Not to mention, the fact that PP compared poop to chicken is even more gross!

Setting aside the issue of what constitutes clean or not... washing your cutting board after it touches raw chicken is much different than washing down below after using the bathroom. I would make the assumption that those who are using their mouths on another person's genitals have ensured that person has just washed up, but otherwise - they're not "consuming" anything during traditional p in v intercourse, and not ingesting any bacteria. And if they get up after and wash their hands before eating, etc.... then that's the same as handling raw chicken.

Also to the first poster in this thread, your arms and legs DO sweat. It just evaporates because the skin is stretched open to the air, as opposed to your underarm, under-boob, butt crack, etc.

Any body surface always has bacteria. You can't get rid of all of it, but you can decrease the amount. That's good.

Just don't fool yourself that you are fully sterilized anywhere. Even in the operating room with very sanitized skin, it isn't perfect. (Not unless you are autoclaved!)

Sure, but at least it won’t smell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

Not necessarily. She could just need to get to bed early because she’s tired. You expecting sex would get in the way of that, which is why she forewarns you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

This is ridiculous and som martyrdom-nonsense. I have 3 kids and stay at home. I have showered every day of my life except when a doctor told me it was not permitted for medical reasons (just had surgery). You are doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

put the toddler in restraints -- or on the floor in the bathroom -- and shower. Or shower at nap time. Or quiet time, if your kids don't nap. Put them on the ipad or in front of the tv for 10 minutes. take a shower when your SO is home (provided you have one, which I assume you do if you are a SAHP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

I had to shower after reading this. Yeck! "Privilege of self-care." You're not fooling anyone, especially your dh, who has to smell that nasty ass in bed next to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

This is ridiculous and som martyrdom-nonsense. I have 3 kids and stay at home. I have showered every day of my life except when a doctor told me it was not permitted for medical reasons (just had surgery). You are doing something wrong.

Agree. I shower every day. There's no excuse for not showering with a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Main event you are Italian, do you at least use the bidet? I hope so.
Also, what do you have to get ready for DH morning routine? Are you his mom too? Can he pick his own clothes so you have time to take a shower?