Wife's bad breath, doesn't shower enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I think it's a troll. The tipoff is the language used to describe sex. Men generally don't use timid euphemisms like "intimacy" and "relations" and don't refer to female genitals as "down there."

Maybe this is a lesbian couple.

"Where a few men have gone before"? I can't honestly recall ever having need to refer to my wife's anatomy .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Why not bathe the toddler with you? I bathed with my mother until I was old enough to bathe alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her lifestyle like OP?

Is she a busy Stay-at-Home mother to young children?

Does she work full-time AND do most of the cooking + cleaning??

Perhaps she doesn’t have the time or inclination to bathe daily.
Once you get older, a daily shower doesn’t seem as huge a priority as when you were younger.
Your hair gets drier as does your skin.

Plus these days, people are encouraged not to shampoo their hair daily as well as not shower daily due to concerns of drying out the skin & it’s natural oils, etc.

Or like other PPs mentioned, not showering daily is often a sign of being depressed.

I'm a SAHM to a toddler, I can't leave that kid alone and unattended for 15-20 minutes to shower (Italians are a hairy people). I feel lucky to shower twice a week. By the time I put the kid to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the toys and get everything together for DH's morning routine... screw the shower. I want my six hours of sleep before toddler wakes up and we do it all over again.

If you want her to take better care of herself, be supportive in that. Positive reinforcement, buy her that expensive skincare set from the dermaspa. Upgrade to an electric toothbrush. Volunteer to takeover household chores so she can go take a nice hot shower and relax.

Sometimes we just need a nudge. It's not always about being depressed or lack of motivation, it's about not feeling like we have the privilege of self-care.

Why not bathe the toddler with you? I bathed with my mother until I was old enough to bathe alone?

Or join a gym, with childcare, and shower there. You're doing something good for yourself, getting some "me time," and self care.

There are SO many options to solve this. PP is just nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I believe it. DH says I have bad breath. I was stubborn about it at first (in denial) but now I make an effort to brush more often (more than twice/day) or use mouthwash to freshen up.

You must floss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I believe it. DH says I have bad breath. I was stubborn about it at first (in denial) but now I make an effort to brush more often (more than twice/day) or use mouthwash to freshen up.

You must floss.

Waterpik's are on sale at Costco this month. Sonicare toothbrushes come in a 2 pack. And get industrial size packs of gum and mints and place them around the house. Buy body wash and deodorant while you're there. And tell her bluntly to wash more often (particularly before sex) and that her breath stinks. She'll be mad at first, but if she wants the D, she'll oblige.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I believe it. DH says I have bad breath. I was stubborn about it at first (in denial) but now I make an effort to brush more often (more than twice/day) or use mouthwash to freshen up.

You must floss.

The thing that helped me was the tongue scraper. Makes all the difference. Also less dairy (coffee with milk breath etc)

[Anonymous]

Cut out foods with extra garlic & onions like Italian and Chinese. Nothing with raw scallions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I broach the subject of my wife's frequently bad breath and every-other-day shower habits affecting our intimacy? Honestly, sometimes I simply have to turn my head lying in bed. Also, keeping it clean and trim downstairs would be nice for other activities...

Is this real? B/c it sounds like an exact reversal of complaints women have of their men.

I believe it. DH says I have bad breath. I was stubborn about it at first (in denial) but now I make an effort to brush more often (more than twice/day) or use mouthwash to freshen up.

You must floss.

Waterpik's are on sale at Costco this month. Sonicare toothbrushes come in a 2 pack. And get industrial size packs of gum and mints and place them around the house. Buy body wash and deodorant while you're there. And tell her bluntly to wash more often (particularly before sex) and that her breath stinks. She'll be mad at first, but if she wants the D, she'll oblige.

I don't think she wants the D.

[Anonymous]

Yes. You can literally jump in the shower and wash from head to toe once, and rinse, and dry yourself in ten minutes. Shower at night if you must after putting the kids to bed. No need to skip your own hygiene because you have children.

[Anonymous]

Fun fact: OP's wife didn't bathe once between the OP and current year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

First the problem was she showers every other day, and now it's that she doesn't shower twice a day? It sounds like you have some squeamishness around natural body odors if she showered in the morning but you'd like her to "freshen up" again before sex, and you do the same. That's overkill.

+1

And the thing is, high disgust response is a sexually dimorphic trait, one that is usually found in women. As such, women are majorly turned off by "squeamish" men- it comes off as not very heterosexual or masculine. A guy who cant get erection because his wife only showered a few hours ago instead of minutes before? Very unattractive. You may want to check if you have low T, OP. I know my boyfriend is all over me on the few days when I dont shower first thing in the morning. If we're lazily laying in bed and it's been over a day since my shower, and you can start smelling the natural "scent", he goes crazy for it, to put it in PG terms. I would say most high sex drive men are like this, so you're truly making yourself look like a bit of a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

OP here. She probably showers first thing in the morning MOST days. Thing is, she never makes any effort to clean up before potential relations occur. The other day we went to bed early, which usually portends intimacy. When I get close she forewarns against anything getting to intense, as she hasn't showered that day. If this were only occasionally, it wouldn't be a big deal, but is it too much to rinse off in the shower before heading to bed every now and then. I certainly do...

Lazy and or uninterested in relations with you. Or depressed.

[Anonymous]

OP did you divorce?

[Anonymous]

My wife probably hasn't showered in days and I eat a$$ no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often DOES she shower? It's very rare for non-depressed professional women to not shower daily.

I shower every 3 days, I barely sweat