I'm living abroad in the UK and I hate it.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware


Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.


Yes, you are going through perfectly normal culture shock. Honeymoon period is over and everything is irritating! When I lived in France, a friend and I hit this stage and we made a long, ridiculous list of everything we hated. It was very therapeutic! We had a total American experience where we just cranked about the expense, the smell, the rude people, the tiny coffee, the fish on pizza (?? what France!?), it went on and on. But we also could make even longer lists of everything we loved and the people were actually all very lovely. We just had that cranky period of pure hate

I'm sure expats living in the US get it too. I would love to see their lists of what they hate about us!



I think this happens to people who move abroad with the America sucks , Europe isi a utopia attitude.

It's shocking when you learn they are also human and won't instantly dall in love with you because you are an open-minded American.


That's exactly what it is. I actually find the "I'm a special American that hates other Americans so the British will love me" attitude to be the most condescending at all.

And when I lived in France in college, I was the only one in our group that truly became good friends with a bunch of French people. They liked me because I always defended America and I didn't do the "Oh, I know, America is so awful" routine (which is actually fairly smug and superior). They said I "wasn't like most Americans" and I think that's because so many Americans who live abroad try to suck up to the locals by bashing their home country and it's pathetic and irritating and funnily does the exact opposite of what they're so desperate for.
Anonymous
British expat living here and I'm amazed that OP said she feels every interaction in the UK is based around money. What do you mean? I'm particularly surprised because that's one of the things I feel here, especially with the tipping culture, that a tip is expected for every single thing here whereas it is only expected in the UK in restaurants (and not 20% either) and maybe to the person who washes your hair at the hairdresser. And of course when you go to the doctor/hospital you are just treated and there are no questions about who you are and your insurance.

Also to the OP, the advice here about getting out and meeting people through classes,etc is good, and also to living like the British as far as you can. That is something I'm working on here, and sometimes it's quite challenging for me but generally I'm loving the experience here.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The Ugly American


More like The Ugly Brit. I concur with OP's assessment and experiences. Lived there for five years. There were some highlights, but mostly, just rude people.
Anonymous
Granted I lived there over 10 years ago...but I don't find the English rude at all. I have some amazing friends still from my time there. Maybe it helped that my grandparents were English? I mean they aren't smiley and open, they have a certain reserve, but that never came across as rude to me. It's just a cultural difference.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.


You have a shitty attitude. Your expectations that living abroad is to be compared to living in the US is simple-minded at best.

You will be miserable. Period.

Isn't it odd that the vast majority of expats (like me) love the varied experience and the fact that it isn't like living in the US and then there are people like you who bitch and moan. Just be glad you're in a country where English is the default language.

Go back to Peoria. Make everybody happier.


What about the Brits living in the U.S. who complain non-stop about Americans? Perhaps they should take your advice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.


You have a shitty attitude. Your expectations that living abroad is to be compared to living in the US is simple-minded at best.

You will be miserable. Period.

Isn't it odd that the vast majority of expats (like me) love the varied experience and the fact that it isn't like living in the US and then there are people like you who bitch and moan. Just be glad you're in a country where English is the default language.

Go back to Peoria. Make everybody happier.


I'm venting and saying what I really think. I don't go around acting rude. I feel this way after people have treated ME rudely here for no apparent reason. The British love to bash Americans and call me an idiot because they assume I voted for that buffoon. You have no idea what you're talking about. A British person would call you a c*** without batting an eyelash.


Well, so do many Americans. Just take a look over at the political subforum. Your point is?


DP, but the point is obvious. The Brits would actually call you that *to your face* and think nothing of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware


+100
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:London is a mega city full of people who aren't from London. It's outrageously expensive and everyone is pissed.
Fine to visit, but not to live.
I always feel the same way about NYC.
I'm sure I'd like the countryside more if I had to live there.


DC is a city full of transplants. It's similarly expensive and filled with cranky, miserable people.


+1
I'm a DC native, and the people others complain about here are more often than not, transplants. The people who have lived here for generations are not like that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This thread is so interesting. I don't find Brits rude at all. Yes, they're frank and they don't hide behind the PC veil. However, they are more honest than Americans. I find Americans to be rude, fake, pretentious, overbearing, and quite annoying. I'm a minority and I actually prefer living in the UK than living here in the states. I could just be myself while I'm in the UK. I'm happier and more free there. In the United States I'm forced into this little narrow box that Americans place minorities in. The strangest thing about living in America is that if you don't assimilate white Americans will dislike you. However, if you do assimilate into the culture here, then minorities despise you. I feel like you can't win here. Americans also have weird obsessions with race and religion that permeates the culture here. It's quite suffocating to live here. I have traveled and lived in different countries. If given the choice, then I will choose the UK over any other place.

Maybe the OP and I can trade places.


The people who do this are called "LIBERALS." According to them, everyone has a box to check. It's never just a group of people to them. You're either white, black (excuse me, AA), Hispanic, or another POC. They love to group people accordingly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:London is a mega city full of people who aren't from London. It's outrageously expensive and everyone is pissed.
Fine to visit, but not to live.
I always feel the same way about NYC.
I'm sure I'd like the countryside more if I had to live there.


DC is a city full of transplants. It's similarly expensive and filled with cranky, miserable people.


+1
I'm a DC native, and the people others complain about here are more often than not, transplants. The people who have lived here for generations are not like that.


There are very few DC natives. Perhaps more natives from northern Virginia or other burbs, but not dc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware


Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.


Yes, you are going through perfectly normal culture shock. Honeymoon period is over and everything is irritating! When I lived in France, a friend and I hit this stage and we made a long, ridiculous list of everything we hated. It was very therapeutic! We had a total American experience where we just cranked about the expense, the smell, the rude people, the tiny coffee, the fish on pizza (?? what France!?), it went on and on. But we also could make even longer lists of everything we loved and the people were actually all very lovely. We just had that cranky period of pure hate

I'm sure expats living in the US get it too. I would love to see their lists of what they hate about us!



I think this happens to people who move abroad with the America sucks , Europe isi a utopia attitude.

It's shocking when you learn they are also human and won't instantly dall in love with you because you are an open-minded American.


That's exactly what it is. I actually find the "I'm a special American that hates other Americans so the British will love me" attitude to be the most condescending at all.

And when I lived in France in college, I was the only one in our group that truly became good friends with a bunch of French people. They liked me because I always defended America and I didn't do the "Oh, I know, America is so awful" routine (which is actually fairly smug and superior). They said I "wasn't like most Americans" and I think that's because so many Americans who live abroad try to suck up to the locals by bashing their home country and it's pathetic and irritating and funnily does the exact opposite of what they're so desperate for.


+1,000,000
I will *always* defend America, while still acknowledging our faults. I'd rather live in this country than anywhere else in the world - and I've lived all over Europe and much of Asia. I agree that those from other countries have far more respect for an American who defends his or her country than for the sycophants trying to ingratiate themselves into a foreign culture.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Wait you aren't married (and have been waiting around for a ring for 5 years) and you also don't have a job, or kids? You make bad life choices. Get it together girl
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wait you aren't married (and have been waiting around for a ring for 5 years) and you also don't have a job, or kids? You make bad life choices. Get it together girl


What? On every level What?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.


That was my experience in the U.K. as well. Except for Indian food. It's fantastic. Surprisingly I found the French to be nicer overall.


Oh, I do love the Indian food here! And they'll even deliver it to your doorstep (hard to find in some US cities). The first thing I did here when I got back was order some takeaway chicken tikka masala.

What part of the UK were you in? And what were some of your experiences?


Bath and London mostly. I don't want to get into too much, but the hi-light had to be getting hit by a car and having the driver yell at me for scaring his passenger. It was my fault (looked wrong way when entering crosswalk) but damn, yelling at someone on the ground after you hit them with a car seems excessive.


And then he started yelling at me that I would need to pay for his broken windshield. It was a bit surreal.

It is very rude in most cultures to not apologize profusely for causing an accident. I was shocked after my first accident in the US when the driver at fault didn't apologize, just nonchalantly asked to exchange insurance information.
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