Would you date someone of a different race?

[Anonymous]

I've dated folks from a range of races, ethnicities, and creeds. I probably would end up mentioning it to someone because I would probably go into some detail in talking about the two folks in question before the set up. For example, "she is short, likes triathalons as well as the library, and locks her hair." Or "he is tall, hits the gym at least threes times per week, and has short blond hair." I would send a few signals through the description and give them the opportunity to drill down. Or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, not to hijack...but it is related. If you are someone who would NOT date outside of your race...would you care if your son/daughter/relative did?

The honest truth?

Yes, if it were an African-American. Call me what you want (I don't think I am). Flame away. But that's how I feel. Sorry.

I appreciate your candor and I am not flaming you. It makes me sad though. This is true of lots of people. Again, it saddens me.

I feel the same way. My parents thought like you did, until they met my husband. Now they could care less that he is African American. So maybe you will change your mind as well if your child happened to find his/her one true love with an African American.

saddens me too. I broke it off with an African American man in college because of parent's racist attitude. None of my friends cared. Nobody at work cared. Only my parents...and I resented them for a long time.

My two sisters and I are half white, half asian, and yes, we were stunning babies I look most white, my middle sister looks Brazilian and youngest looks most Asian. Interesting how it works out.

My in-laws did not care for me, for years, because I am white. I learned to cook Korean foods, and learned a little Korean, and over time, they have grown to accept me.

My own parents were very excited, I was in love, and they assumed my children would be as stunning (which they are).

I never ceased to be amazed how the Asian - Caucasian mix consistently turns out stunning children. I'm white. DH is Asian-American. No doubt stunning baby is due in December! Grandparents on both sides are about to explode with anticipation.

my children are half white half asian...one looks 100% white, the other 100% asian.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not interested. Caucasian woman here. Not enough in common with AA men and totally turned off by Asian men.

[Anonymous]

I would and have, much to the chagrin of my parents. How boring to limit yourself to one race or ethnicity!

[Anonymous]

I would and I have, though not very often. I went to a VERY white high school and a very white college, so it hasn't really been an issue. Typically white guys are the ones asking me out, so they're typically the guys I date. A couple years ago, a nice, cute, smart black guy asked me out. I went. Nice date, nice guy,but I wasn't bowled over enough to date him again - I wasn't feeling much chemistry. We're still friends, though.

I recently asked a new-ish friend about what she was looking for in a guy. One of the first questions I asked was, "do you care what race he is?" (she's black.) She said, "nope." I said, "that opens things up." I asked her more questions - religion, political views, etc. but did hope afterward that she didn't think I was a flaming racist for asking that as one of the first questions. I just figure that one question does narrow things down.

OP- it's too bad your friends weren't more open to dating someone of a different race, but oh well. It could be racism, or it could be that some people are just attracted to a narrower range of people. His use of "offended" bugs me, though.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to someone of a different race.

Race has never caused any issues for us. Problems have arisen over being from different cultures, though, but nothing too serious. If we were of different religions, I don't think I could handle it.

[Anonymous]

I am caucasian, blonde and blue-eyed. My DH is too. However, while I thought he was cute when we first met, it was honestly his persoanlity that made me fall in love. Frankly, I find many AA men extremely good-looking and would have been open to marrying any man from any race, as long as I loved his persoanlity and character. I will admit, I would have a much harder time marrying someone who did not grow up with the same religious traditions that I did, solely because I want to have the same types of holidays and traditions with my children. I would find it difficult to marry someone who did not beleive the same things about God etc... because it is so twined in to how I view life. All that said, the oen thing I worried about in re dating an AA man was AA women who would be angered by it. I have always had AA women friends and they often express frustration with successful AA men who date and marry caucasian women and I have to admit, I get it. That would be the only deterent to me.

For a person to be "offended" that you would set him/her up with someone with a different skin color/tone, culture, religion, ethnicity, etc... in this day and age has a serious problem. That is just ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was a strange experience. I set two people up for a date, and they are of different races. It was a complete failure. One person said that I should have asked if he would be open to dating a person of another race. That took me by surprise. He should have known that I could have set him up with anyone since I am in a mixed marriage. I think he used the word offended.
I don't think that I should have had to ask first(?). That to me is weird.
This will be the last time I set anyone up. I think these two would have hit it off if they had been more open. Their loss.

What were their races? Sadly, I have found white people more open and even interested in dating Asian or Hispanic people, but much more closed to the idea of dating an African-American person.

you see the same thing with adoption, Asian, OK, but black, no way.

I don't think this is true any longer. It used to be very true around ten or fifteen years ago. Black newborn babies available for adoption are not difficult to place in a forever family. Older and disabled children are the hard to place children. Outside the Black community, Germans and Canadians are primarily adopting American Black children. Also, with the closures of many IA adoptions, White American women in Iowa and Wisconsin are waiting for extended months to adopt African children.

Now that I have deviated from the original topic, I will go back on track. I have dated multiple times outside my race. No big deal. Funny thing, when I finally settled down to marry, many friends asked, what color (race) was my soon to be husband. I do remember going on an initial date with a very handsome white fellow once, but we did not click. As we talked, I thought he would be a perfect candidate for a particular girlfriend of mine. I arranged a date for the two to meet. The white guy was upset that I introduced him to a white woman. Go figure. I stay out of match making.

[Anonymous]

If you want your DC to get into Beauvoir, YES!

[Anonymous]

I am a White woman and at certain times in my life I would not have been open to dating someone of another race for various reasons.

I do think it was wrong that you did not tell your friends that the person was another race unless they at had outright said to you at some point they would date someone of another race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not interested. Caucasian woman here. Not enough in common with AA men and totally turned off by Asian men.

Strange blanket statement. You know you have nothing in common with black men based on what? You do realize that they aren't all the same, right? That Bill Cosby and LebronJames probably don't have much in common beyond race, any more than Larry theCable Guy and Tony Blair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never dated someone of a different race (well, I did date a hispanic guy...but I don't really consider that different--especially since he was about as hispanic as I am Irish--100%, but a couple generations ago). My mom literally sat me down when I was 12 and strongly discouraged me from dating people of different races. She insisted she didn't care if all of my friends were of different races, and that she wasn't racist, but that it would be too hard for children I could have to be biracial. Again, I was TWELVE. Seriously??? I honestly don't think my mom is racist, but I am SO close to her (and I'm pretty sure most of my family feels the same way) that it just wouldn't have been worth it. As it turned out, I didn't have a chance to test that; I met my husband right out of college and he's the same race as I am.

To answer the post about my kids dating outside our race, I would have no problem with it. As long as my kids date/marry someone who shares the same values and treats them well, I couldn't care less what race the person is. In fact, I think biracial kids are some of the most beautiful kids out there.

To quote you: "Seriously???". Yeah, your Mom is racist. Does't mean she wasn't a great Mom, as most people are many things, and she is clearly this, among other attributes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would and have, much to the chagrin of my parents. How boring to limit yourself to one race or ethnicity!

are you one of those who ended up marrying a cousin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a White woman and at certain times in my life I would not have been open to dating someone of another race for various reasons.

I do think it was wrong that you did not tell your friends that the person was another race unless they at had outright said to you at some point they would date someone of another race.

why should we assume people are not OK with diversity?

[Anonymous]

If I'm Chinese and DH is from India, are we of a different race?