DH wants me to cheat

[Anonymous]

Jerry Falwell is irrelevant to OP's emotional state and marriage where she is being coerced by DH.

Every thread does not have to devolve into politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jerry Falwell is irrelevant to OP's emotional state and marriage where she is being coerced by DH.

Every thread does not have to devolve into politics.

Where is the coercion? He has a kink, he expressed his kink.

[Anonymous]

If DW is into it is DH still weak and twisted? Asking for a friend . Cant believe the amount of “gay” and the like words thrown around in this day and age. Am guessing these posters would not say such things publicly which maybe is a good rule to use here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow the kink shamers are out in force today. OP, do what you’re comfortable with and feel free to draw clear lines about your boundaries regardless of your husband’s preferences (eg, be clear that you’re absolutely not and never will be interested in getting with another man in reality), but you don’t have assume as PPs suggest that your husband is sick or queer or addicted to porn or planning to leave you.

+1
A voice of sanity.

[Anonymous]

When my husband was in command in the military he had a soldier whose wife was allowed to sleep with other men as long as she filmed it for him. Then she stopped filming and he was pissed. Everyone thought he was nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow the kink shamers are out in force today. OP, do what you’re comfortable with and feel free to draw clear lines about your boundaries regardless of your husband’s preferences (eg, be clear that you’re absolutely not and never will be interested in getting with another man in reality), but you don’t have assume as PPs suggest that your husband is sick or queer or addicted to porn or planning to leave you.

It's not a fantasy that a healthy, well adjusted man would be so invested in, to the point of overlooking or even getting off on his wife's discomfort.

[Anonymous]

DW wants to see me with a trans. 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my husband was in command in the military he had a soldier whose wife was allowed to sleep with other men as long as she filmed it for him. Then she stopped filming and he was pissed. Everyone thought he was nuts.

Exactly. All those on the thread trying to normalize this fetish are fighting a losing battle.

Example above is another of how paraphilias cluster, dude was also an exhibitionist, sharing this information with work colleagues. Completely inappropriate and not something others respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow the kink shamers are out in force today. OP, do what you’re comfortable with and feel free to draw clear lines about your boundaries regardless of your husband’s preferences (eg, be clear that you’re absolutely not and never will be interested in getting with another man in reality), but you don’t have assume as PPs suggest that your husband is sick or queer or addicted to porn or planning to leave you.

+1
A voice of sanity.

Nope, another porn addled loser trying to normalize some dude's indifference to his wife's discomfort and lack of consent. Rape culture at its finest. All repackaged as "sex positive" but, is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jerry Falwell is irrelevant to OP's emotional state and marriage where she is being coerced by DH.

Every thread does not have to devolve into politics.

Where is the coercion? He has a kink, he expressed his kink.

It's in OP's subsequent post.

I was majorly turned off but didn't want to make him...not want to share in the future.

He was also described as "excited" to even talk about it, so much so that he did not notice, or perhaps was further "excited" by her being "majorly turned off" by the idea.

Coercive.

He's going to keep pushing her boundaries, he does not care about her being "majorly turned off" or he even LIKES THAT.

This is not a dude you can have a healthy emotionally intimate marriage with. He's off and not valuing her and her feelings properly.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I like to talk about another man being involved and sometimes use sex toys to pretend. I don’t want to be with another man (we’ve always been monogamous and I don’t want to risk our relationship) but he knows it’s a huge turn on for me when we talk about it which then turns it into a turn on for him too.

[Anonymous]

Nice for you, PP but an incompatibility between OP and her DH.

While it is a huge turn on for him, she said she was majorly turned off. He didn't seem to care.

You and your husband have an intimate emotional connection and the sex enhances that. OP and her DH do not have that, the opposite, in fact.

Sad. Coerced sex will not bring them closer, but drive a bigger wedge. He may even get off on her feeling uncomfortable. Not good at all, nor is her worry that he will leave her if she does not participate in his fetish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow the kink shamers are out in force today. OP, do what you’re comfortable with and feel free to draw clear lines about your boundaries regardless of your husband’s preferences (eg, be clear that you’re absolutely not and never will be interested in getting with another man in reality), but you don’t have assume as PPs suggest that your husband is sick or queer or addicted to porn or planning to leave you.

It's not a fantasy that a healthy, well adjusted man would be so invested in, to the point of overlooking or even getting off on his wife's discomfort.

What is healthy and well adjusted?

There isn’t a definitive definition of that. Is it unhealthy? Maybe is well adjusted enough to allow his wife as much pleasure as she wants as long as they stay married. That lifestyle isnt for me, but I am not going to call someone unhealthy or judge them because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about stds? I’d be too freaked out to do it

Use condoms.
I mean, you shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do, but this seems like a silly reason.

condoms is like not having sex. You feel nothing

I guess we will have to disagree here. I definitely still feel something when a man wears a condom.

I’m a guy and it doesn’t feel good at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I like to talk about another man being involved and sometimes use sex toys to pretend. I don’t want to be with another man (we’ve always been monogamous and I don’t want to risk our relationship) but he knows it’s a huge turn on for me when we talk about it which then turns it into a turn on for him too.

The nuns on this board think you are a ho. Anything but missionary is a kink. And indulging in every kink will get you to hell. But hey, unlike the nuns - please enjoy what you have!