Andover or Exter or St. Pauls

[Anonymous]

I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the boarding schools in New England. I have an eighth grader at SFS and we love it. We, however, attended an Andover informational event here in DC and followed up with an interview/tour/visit at the above three schools. We were blown away by their resources, their faculty and their students. Although our DD may not even get accepted, but I was wondering if anyone knew whether these are good places or not? Does anyone have any personal experinces. I did a search on Andover and Exeter in the forums, but all I saw was lots of people getting snippy and defensive. Im more interested in serious and considered opinions. Its a little scary sending a 10th grader away to another state but we agree with the admissions folks at Andover and Exeter that we think our DD is sufficiently mature to handle it. In fact, it might be an amazing experience. She was pretty hesitant about the idea at first but became very enthusiastic after seeing the campus and meeting the students. Seeing the old eighteenth century quad at Andover reminded me of the first time I saw Manhattan as a 5th grader after living in Alexandria my whole life. Its just feels like a whole different league.

Any thoughts would be really appreciated.

[Anonymous]

My niece is at Exeter. She was recruited to Andover as an exceptional student (Andover was trying to expand diversity profile) - but she fell in love with Exeter.

For my niece this is a great fit. Her hometown is unlike DC and did not offer exceptional school choices. Exeter has provided an environment for her to explore and really be challenged.

[Anonymous]

You might want to search the archives and then ask at the prep school discussion boards at College Confidential. I understand the admissions staff at the boarding schools spend some time on those boards, though, so be aware of that when you post.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a few questions that might help me respond better.
(1) Where/when was this Andover informational event in DC? What sort of info did you get there?
(2) You say your child is currently in 8th grade, but then later say she would be going out-of-state in 10th grade. Was that a typo? Is there some reason you're delaying until 10th grade?
(3) Why are you interested in only those three boarding schools? If you are somehow dissatisfied with DC educational opportunities, there are tons of other boarding schools with credentials and histories that are just as extensive, and often perhaps much better than just those three. Why excluding all the others?

[Anonymous]

I taught at Exeter after college. All three schools are amazing. Exeter and Andover are best for connections and great places to go to school. I love the Harkness method at Exeter and I have nothing but good things to say about Exeter. I did a visit to St. Paul's when looking at schools to teach at and loved it. St. Paul's is a much smaller setting but the students and faculty are very close.

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason you are only looking at those three schools? Depending on your DD's interests or personality, you may wish to broaden your search. Think about the arts, sports, etc. - for example, I went to Choate which has a phenomenal performing arts center (designed by I.M.Pei), so there is a big emphasis on theater and the arts there.

Also, what types of sports is she interested in? Swimming, hockey, soccer, sailing, lacrosse, field hockey, crew, etc...you should think about which schools have the best programs. It's basically like college-lite, and you need to do your research to find the right fit. Don't rule out smaller schools and single-sex schools, as some of those are wonderful too.

It's hard to move out of your parents' house when you are 14, but if you choose the right school the education and experience will be worthwhile. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

As an Andover grad myself, I'll disclose my biases up front! But it's a great school. Exeter is wonderful, too. I don't know as much about St Paul's, but it's been around for years and has a good reputation.

Andover's facilities, teachers and student body are just remarkable these days. It's really a community of learners, many of whom are phenominally brilliant. If your daughter is smart but not brilliant, you may want to be sure she's going to be ok being in the middle of the heap. (That's where I was, but it was motivating to me.) There are many opportunities to excel outside of the classroom and a very supportive environment to make up for leaving home at a young age. I really came out of my shell at Andover and wouldn't have traded that experience for anything in the world.

Other schools not already mentioned that you might consider: Northfield Mount Herman; Deerfield (went co-ed in late 80s, early 90s); Hotchkiss; BBN (not as many boarders); Canterbury; Miss Porters; Groton.

[Anonymous]

Andover, Exeter and St. Paul's are all excellent schools. I have friends and family who have attended them and other boarding schools.

Is your DD mature enough to handle being away from home? Does she have the moral strength to stay away from the drugs that, at least in the past, were more of an issue at boarding schools than day schools? Is she self-motivated to get all of her work done without her parents' supervision?

I looked at boarding schools when I was a teen. I ultimately decided not to go b/c a) I wasn't ready to let go of my friendships at home and b) I felt like at boarding school you needed to excel in one area (art, theater, music, a sport) in order to fit in. I don't know how much truth was in item b, but that was my gut feeling at the time.

My college classmates from the top boarding schools were better prepared than anyone else. They were also blase about college to a certain extent.

I'd say visit a few more schools, apply to the ones that feel like a good fit, and then let your DD decide where she wants to go.

[Anonymous]

Students I knew in college from those schools were burnt out by the time they graduated from high school. I agree with the blase comment. I also agree that they were better prepared than anyone else I knew.

I also remember someone in college (who had gone to Exeter) telling me that he was miserable the whole first year when he was a freshman and he counted down the days. He was fine after that.

[Anonymous]

OP, your post is obviously a fake. As 11:38 noted, your story contains odd omissions and contradictions (and your style is recognizable from previous posts extolling the virtues of these three schools - you always spell the names wrong). You must have a lot of time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Hello granny nanny. You got the wrong poster. I see your hallucinations are acting up again. I have been on the sidlines for this one!

[Anonymous]

I don't know whatthe prior two weird posts are all about, but I am the PP Choatie. I can absolutely say that MANY students arrive as new 10th graders (or fourth formers, as they are called at most boarding schools). Our class doubled in size from third to fourth form. Maybe it's a New England thing but it's very common that kids stay at their prior school through 9th grade and go to boarding school to start in 10th grade. So for all the posters asking about why this girl would wait a year before going off to school, that's really not that odd.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP again. Im also missing the whole Granny Nanny thing but Im assuming it has to do with (what I mentioned earlier) seemed to be some really heated (but not constructive) discussions about local vs New England prep schools. While entertaining, I did not find them all that helpful other than to see how passionate some people were about their views. On the other hand, the responses that were posted today are awesome! Thanks everyone.

Just to clear up, our DD is in the 8th grade at SFS but we were a little scared to send her to Andover as a 9th grader or freshman (or what Andover appears to call a Junior). Instead, we felt more comfortable sending her as a 10th grader (or what they call a Lower). The admissions folks explained that you can apply now and defer one year. Also, apparently, the size of the class triples in size from Junior to Lower year because several parents have the same concerns we do. But, in order to mitigate these concerns, they explained that juniors (i.e, 9th graders) live in "Junior Dorms" and are not thrown in with the rest of the academy and have a "Junior Curriculum" so they dont have to be mixed in with everyone else.

Thanks for the tips about the other schools. The choices seem to be so overwhelming but everyone seems to always mention Andover and Exeter as the best.

So, my follow up question is about burning out. I have heard the same thing about prep students burning out but, from my perspective, it looks like SFS is pretty rigorous too (much harder than I ever worked in high school). Can Andover and Exeter really be that much harder? or is it just myth? The students are clearly brilliant. I believe that. But, I also dont want to sentence my daughter to some kind of slave mine either.

[Anonymous]

I can say unequivocally that I worked much, much harder in high school than I ever did in college. I went from my boarding school to Georgetown (with 14 of my high school classmates!) and never felt as stressed or challenged as I did in high school. I learned so much in high school and worked my butt off - but I also benefitted in so many other ways by forging lasting and meaningful relationships with my friends, peers, and faculty members both in and out of the classroom - when you live, eat, and study witht hose people, it makes a HUGE difference.

In college, I hardly had to do anything other than show up for exams and turn in papers a few times a semester. I didn't really have any relationships with professors - classes were too big or T.A.'s ran the smaller groups - and I never felt like I had to think all that much.

Another nice bonus is that you don't have the added pressure of freaking out when you go off to college because you're responsible for the first time for your own laundry or waking yourself up for class or whatever...that's pretty much old hat by the time you go to college if you've already been living in a dorm for four years.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went to an elite private school here in DC. When she arrived at her Ivy -- it seemed like a really large # of kids came from Andover or Exeter. All of the schools you're looking at are great. A previous Choate grad made a good point in an earlier post -- look at what sports each school has and try to find a good match for your daughter. Choate is great by the way too!