Rant: What do you hate most about TTC

[Anonymous]

On a superficial note - I hate the acne. Since going off BC last fall it is awful. Like I'm 16 again. Mostly upper back and forehead. Gross. So much for tank tops and cute sun dresses.

[Anonymous]

Growing apart from friends. They meet mom friends and gradually stop inviting you because all conversations and events are child centric. So not only are you childless but in need of new friends.

[Anonymous]

That I can have a great day like today when it is beautiful out, and all of a sudden be really upset and sad....just ruining a great day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing apart from friends. They meet mom friends and gradually stop inviting you because all conversations and events are child centric. So not only are you childless but in need of new friends.

This is so sad to hear, and my first reaction is that your friends aren't being very friendly....but then again I think this is very common, and I've felt it (and I know people who don't want kids period who have felt it x1000). This whole racket is so unfair! You're not alone, PP - hoping for good things for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing apart from friends. They meet mom friends and gradually stop inviting you because all conversations and events are child centric. So not only are you childless but in need of new friends.

This is so sad to hear, and my first reaction is that your friends aren't being very friendly....but then again I think this is very common, and I've felt it (and I know people who don't want kids period who have felt it x1000). This whole racket is so unfair! You're not alone, PP - hoping for good things for you!

I definitely feel this. It's not intentional or malicious. It just is. We don't have much in common any more. I dont begrudge them the fact tht they want to talk about kids, that their lives are different, etc. I will hopefully feel that way too if we ever get pregnant/have kids. but for now, they are "in" and I am "out" and the friendship just isn't the same. It's hard to be the one(s) "left behind."

[Anonymous]

Hearing about how "it was just the one time and I got pregnant!" from friends or "surprise, I'm having twins" and these people already have a kid! I'm so irrationally jealous and with each passing cycle, I get more and more cynical. I hate that I automatically calculate when I would be due if i got pregnant that month and then the long daydreams that follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hearing about how "it was just the one time and I got pregnant!" from friends or "surprise, I'm having twins" and these people already have a kid! I'm so irrationally jealous and with each passing cycle, I get more and more cynical. I hate that I automatically calculate when I would be due if i got pregnant that month and then the long daydreams that follow.

depending on the day in the cycle, I am either more cynical than the previous month or more hopeful. as our number of months of TTC piles up, and we get closer to a year, and i think that 80% of women are pregnant in a year, I think, well then THIS month will be the month! month 5 wasn't the month... so it will be month 6! no, month 6 wasn't the month... it will be month 7! and so on. I know stats don't actually work this way, but this is still a game I play in my head. Blerg.

[Anonymous]

Pregnant friend coming to stay with us this weekend. I just hate these unproductive and unkind feelings of jealousy and self-pity that I feel. It's so hard to see a friend's belly... but I know I can't hide and need to live my life, along with all the pregnant people in the world. I just wish it didn't sting so much.

DH does not understand this part of my emotional cycle at all. He gets the monthly disappointment, but does not get my sadness at our friends' pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing apart from friends. They meet mom friends and gradually stop inviting you because all conversations and events are child centric. So not only are you childless but in need of new friends.

This is so sad to hear, and my first reaction is that your friends aren't being very friendly....but then again I think this is very common, and I've felt it (and I know people who don't want kids period who have felt it x1000). This whole racket is so unfair! You're not alone, PP - hoping for good things for you!

I definitely feel this. It's not intentional or malicious. It just is. We don't have much in common any more. I dont begrudge them the fact tht they want to talk about kids, that their lives are different, etc. I will hopefully feel that way too if we ever get pregnant/have kids. but for now, they are "in" and I am "out" and the friendship just isn't the same. It's hard to be the one(s) "left behind."

I wish this were discussed more. I feel like this doesn't happen to men. My husband has friends who have kids (and have had kids for the last 7 years), and there's no problem maintaining their friendship. They still go camping. They do things together.

But with women, I feel like it's different. Suddenly, the woman who has the kid seems to think that she has been privy to wisdom the childless/childfree woman will never have, and there's a weird sort of dynamic that ensues.

And then friends who are childfree by choice, once they know you are TTC, they start acting differently, as if they take it as some sort of statement or rejection of their lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I've got a superficial one too, on a lighter note (and a grosser one at that). I HATE that swampy feeling down below during the trying phase from there always being 'leftovers' lurking in my vagina. With the repeated trying for several days, I just feel all slimy and unclean for like a week straight. Eeeewww.

Of course the emotional stuff is worse, but for whatever reason bitching about stupid stuff like this does make me feel a little better.

[Anonymous]

My breasts hurt less the day before my period comes. Today they hurt less. And today the depression starts.

[Anonymous]

Your mention of depression, 17:56 PP, really resonates with me. I am having such a blue day...looks like I'm going to have an anovulatory cycle this round, and while ovulating and trying and failing is hard, not even getting the chance to try for a whole other cycle, watching the days/weeks/months slip by, just seems completely unjust. I know my struggle is less than others', and I know I still have time. I want to relax and enjoy life and see what comes and roll with punches and be glad for others and get some freaking perspective on my small problems....but I feel so blue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mention of depression, 17:56 PP, really resonates with me. I am having such a blue day...looks like I'm going to have an anovulatory cycle this round, and while ovulating and trying and failing is hard, not even getting the chance to try for a whole other cycle, watching the days/weeks/months slip by, just seems completely unjust. I know my struggle is less than others', and I know I still have time. I want to relax and enjoy life and see what comes and roll with punches and be glad for others and get some freaking perspective on my small problems....but I feel so blue.

That really sucks. I know we had to not try one month, and it felt like the six weeks between my period and next ovulation took forever. I can't imagine having to constantly deal with that issue. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

Along those lines, there are days I only think about this for a few minutes and I'm fine, but then there are other days when it just HITS me like a truck and I just can't really snap out of it. It's really tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting my hopes up.

+ 1 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a superficial note - I hate the acne. Since going off BC last fall it is awful. Like I'm 16 again. Mostly upper back and forehead. Gross. So much for tank tops and cute sun dresses.

Mine is all over my chin. It is completely disgusting.