Rant: What do you hate most about TTC
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Anonymous
| The constant waiting, the forced sex and my husband feeling like a sperm machine and calculating months in advance when he will be in town, seeing babies and feeling sad, being so sad I cant tell my parents and family I am pregnant and seeing the joy on their face, not knowing if something is wrong because I have not tried long enough yet to go to the OB, fearing that I will have to go through procedures like IVF, constantly googling everything, according to google 40 percent of couples are pregnant the first month and I am not, seeing on facebook another person getting pregnant, not knowing when it will happen, questioning whether I can have wine or cheese or meat during the TWW, is my luteal phase too short, not wanting to drink too much wine before ovulation in case drinking hurts fertility, the "baby dust" bullshit on message boards, message boards are anonymous so I can't trust what everyone says, not telling people we are trying, because people dont know we are trying I have no one to talk to so I post on this message board, my family pressuring us to have kids but I dont want to tell them we are trying.... |
Anonymous
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This has taken over my life....I can't sleep at night so I search the thousands of posts on different boards reading symptoms similar to mine. Then I scrutinize their post with their byline which usually will tell me if they got pregnant that cycle (unless of course they update but rarely they do) I sit there and count 9-10 months from their post to their ticker line and feel somehow reassured that if they had the same symptoms I do and they got pregnant maybe I'll get a BFP too. It's exhausting.
Just took my 3rd hpt this cycle. All were BFNs. I really thought this was it. My boobs are never sore and they've been sore for a week. I feel dejected and angry. And everyone around me is on their 2, 3, 4th baby. H is done for now. Maybe forever. I'm so frustrated. |
Anonymous
| The sex |
Anonymous
I do the same exact thing with the message boards. Everyone is so different, but if you find someone who had the same problems/symptoms as you, you feel better for about ten minutes. That is, until you open up your computer again and do a new search on google. Sometimes, I wish I was TTC pre-internet; I think it would have given me more peace of mind. |
Anonymous
| Everything about it. It's miserable and is making me increasingly bitter. |
Anonymous
| A lot. But I find that cognitive behavioral therapy has reigned in some of these bad thoughts. I recommend it to anyone with anxiety and depression like I have dealt with. |
Anonymous
| The passage of time and events that have come and gone without me getting pregnant. I would think, oh surely I can drive home from that wedding in 6 months because I'll be pregnant, and of course I wasn't. Planning HHs and dinners around my cycle so they end up in the TWW, I wouldn't want to meet friends for drinks the day I get a positive test and then come up with an awkward excuse of not drinking. But of course the tests are never positive so it doesn't matter anyway. |
Anonymous
This. All of this. |
Anonymous
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For me, the needles and the fact the all the drugs I am taking makes TTC feel like an illness instead of something exciting.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
| When I get my period and delude myself into thinking it could possibly be implantation bleeding bc I thought for sure this was the month (i always think it is) and I just can't go through another month of the roller coaster ride of emotions. |
Anonymous
| How long have all of you who are feeling so miserable been TTC? not to hijack the thread, I am just curious when it starts to get so miserable? I am a couple months in and it obviously sucks, but is tolerable still, but wondering when it starts to get this bad? thanks |
Anonymous
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I think all of the build up in waiting for ovulation, then the build up in waiting to see if you are pregnant, and then the complete disappointment of getting a period.
My husband and I had a big talk last month about how the process is making me so miserable that we should back off. I had a miscarriage last year, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to get pregnant again quickly so as not to have to dwell on the loss. But my husband and I reached the conclusion that maybe we should just be okay with the possibility of not having children. All of the trying isn't getting us far. And even when I got pregnant before and built up so much excitement, the miscarriage was such a huge blow. So I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to come to terms with not having kids. |
Anonymous
No problem! I actually started the thread...it's been very therapeutic for me to write everything I hate about TTC on this thread, and to see other women go through the same things makes me feel a little less crazy 
I actually started to get nervous about the whole thing 2-3 months in, particularly since a lot of my friends got pregnant the first month trying. I also am a "hypochondriac" - I read a study which says that 2/3 get pregnant within 3 months, so I automatically assume I am infertile. We have tried for four months, I have tracked cycles for five, and I started this thread....so clearly I went from zero to anxious quickly. I also don't think its that unreasonable to be miserable quickly...to me at least, four to five months is a long time of anything, let along something so key to one's life |
Anonymous
| DH here: for me, I hated that it was the only time that my DW ever put sex at the top of her priority list. The comparison with our normal marital life was most educational. |