If you're 55+, do you ever think of people you dated in college and your 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Got dozens of memories locked away in the spank bank. Any man that tells you he never reminisces about banging Kristin in the shower stall of their old apartment is a bald faced liar.

Posts like yours are so juvenile. I like sex as much as the next person, and had plenty in my dating years, but grow up.

.

DP what he said is true though.

And somewhere out there are guys pulling it while thinking of the 20-something you.

I’m a women but I think about exes and past hookups frequently. I don’t have actual feelings for them now but there are definitely some highlights that I thoroughly enjoy remembering

[Anonymous]

I have many pleasant memories of ex GFs. They became ex’s for a reason but there were never any hard feelings as the relationships just ran their course for different reasons. I only have contact with two of them because we’ve known each other since childhood. If I had dated one of the two after college she could have been marriage material but I’m very happy with the wife I have.

[Anonymous]

Yes, about 2 years ago I found out that the guy who was my college boyfriend (and frankly the love of my life) lives about 30 minutes away from me. I found out through a really strange twist of fate at a time when I’d had it with my husband. I thought maybe it meant we were meant to be together again. Then I found out he married someone MUCH younger and it grossed me out and made me sad. I never thought he would be one of those guys. So much for hope and finding/rekindling a great relationship over 50.

[Anonymous]

Hello, Brooke Shields.

Anyone that you have had scant if any contact in 30 years is now a stranger. People change over 30 years.

Over-romanticizing the past is a way to avoid reality. It’s a form of denial, so no, I don’t perseverate on it. If an impulsive thought pops in, I move on.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, about 2 years ago I found out that the guy who was my college boyfriend (and frankly the love of my life) lives about 30 minutes away from me. I found out through a really strange twist of fate at a time when I’d had it with my husband. I thought maybe it meant we were meant to be together again. Then I found out he married someone MUCH younger and it grossed me out and made me sad. I never thought he would be one of those guys. So much for hope and finding/rekindling a great relationship over 50.

One of "those guys"? Gross? You are judging him and his wife because she is younger? Lol -- you are sad because you don't stack up and can't compete, not because he did anything wrong. People meet. They fall in love. And age doesn't have anything to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Sure, but that was over 35 years ago when the guys were young, fit and had amazing sexual energy. I’m happy that my husband can perform admirably and frequently without meds. And he’s fit. The guys from years ago….who knows!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to look them up on Facebook and see how bad they turned out. Divorces, balding, alcoholics, etc. It makes me glad I didn't get stuck with any of them.

Can we stop talking about balding as something negative? It's hereditary, not what a person did to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to look them up on Facebook and see how bad they turned out. Divorces, balding, alcoholics, etc. It makes me glad I didn't get stuck with any of them.

Can we stop talking about balding as something negative? It's hereditary, not what a person did to themselves.

Getting divorced isn't something you always "do to yourself" either, nor is it necessarily a sign you're a "bad person".

[Anonymous]

Of course! It doesn’t seem as long ago as it is, so the whole things is still a source of discussion (and sometimes amusement) among my college friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to look them up on Facebook and see how bad they turned out. Divorces, balding, alcoholics, etc. It makes me glad I didn't get stuck with any of them.

Can we stop talking about balding as something negative? It's hereditary, not what a person did to themselves.

Getting divorced isn't something you always "do to yourself" either, nor is it necessarily a sign you're a "bad person".

Totally agree. I have a reasonable idea of what happened to my exes. A couple are divorced, two more never married, and the one who is legitimately a real piece of work has been married for 35 years!

[Anonymous]

The one girl I was absolutely devastated from losing broke up with me in 1990 when I was a senior in college. She instead started dating (and later married) a guy named Jim who to me was a very dysfunctional zero...but he was on the baseball team, so I guess...that's what counted?

And I did think of her a lot after that and only threw away pictures of us together about 5 years ago.

Anyway, 30+ years after I last saw her I got a Facebook message saying basically, "Hi, this is Amy. Well, I divorced Jim last year. I really made a mistake back then when I chose him. Are you still single?"

It was one of those, "If only things were different..." dreams that actually came true.

BUT, when I thought of the reality of the situation, the absolute cruelty and stupidity she displayed back in 1990 and how completely predictable the failure of her relationship with Jim was...no, forget it. Plus the idea that I would still just be there and say, "Awww...it's okay."

It was like, okay so you STILL have no respect for me!

So after that, nah. I never think about old relationships. One came back into my life and I could have had it if I wanted it. Saying no to her was a cold water splash that made me realize that only the here and now matter, and that all that pining and remembering was just a distortion of reality.

[Anonymous]

I’m 72, just reconnected with my high school boyfriend. I’m widowed twice. He never married. We’ll probably remain friends, nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one girl I was absolutely devastated from losing broke up with me in 1990 when I was a senior in college. She instead started dating (and later married) a guy named Jim who to me was a very dysfunctional zero...but he was on the baseball team, so I guess...that's what counted?

And I did think of her a lot after that and only threw away pictures of us together about 5 years ago.

Anyway, 30+ years after I last saw her I got a Facebook message saying basically, "Hi, this is Amy. Well, I divorced Jim last year. I really made a mistake back then when I chose him. Are you still single?"

It was one of those, "If only things were different..." dreams that actually came true.

BUT, when I thought of the reality of the situation, the absolute cruelty and stupidity she displayed back in 1990 and how completely predictable the failure of her relationship with Jim was...no, forget it. Plus the idea that I would still just be there and say, "Awww...it's okay."

It was like, okay so you STILL have no respect for me!

So after that, nah. I never think about old relationships. One came back into my life and I could have had it if I wanted it. Saying no to her was a cold water splash that made me realize that only the here and now matter, and that all that pining and remembering was just a distortion of reality.

What was your response to her? Or did you just not respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was your response to her? Or did you just not respond?

I did respond and basically said I was seeing someone. We are still connected on Facebook but don't interact in any meaningful way. She got married very soon after she contacted me so all seems to be well with her.