If you're 55+, do you ever think of people you dated in college and your 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mostly dated people I met at work so our professional circles occasionally overlap. A couple of them are also the kind of minor policy people who occasionally end up in the news. One of them was on CNN a couple of weeks ago and my husband and I watched him and had a laugh. Before I met my macho husband the guys I dated were like dweebs and policy wonks so usually that’s what we laugh about. Dudes with no muscle tone and soft hands. Blech!!

They were lucky to escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or is it so far back in the past that combined with all your daily obligations, never in your mind?

Sometimes. I imagine them as they were then though. If I were to see them now I would not likely like it.

Looks change, looks fade. Does Brad Pitt look like he did 20 years ago? Assuming someone stayed in shape, they will still look different. And so will you.

[Anonymous]

53 man here. Happily married to college sweetheart I met at age 20. Since I settled locally, yes there are plenty of reminders of past flames but zero regrets - I married the best girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:53 man here. Happily married to college sweetheart I met at age 20. Since I settled locally, yes there are plenty of reminders of past flames but zero regrets - I married the best girl!

Love you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:53 man here. Happily married to college sweetheart I met at age 20. Since I settled locally, yes there are plenty of reminders of past flames but zero regrets - I married the best girl!

Love you!

* to be clear, I’m not his wife

[Anonymous]

I'm not quite 55 yet, but yes, I do.

[Anonymous]

Sure. Some more than others. I'm facebook friends w/ one, and we exchange pleasantries - so I'm pretty current on what's going on w/ him.

Others I never saw again but remember fondly for one reason or another, one tried to make a booty call a few years back (not knowing I was married), another made weird overtures that reminded me why I broke up with him, and one or two I regret not leaning into more.

Sometimes they're fun little rabbit hole fantasies to dive down...

[Anonymous]

Randomly sexually, i’ve had some fun sexual moments. None now.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, sure I do. Some it's just curious about where they ended up (esp. the ones it didn't end so amicably with). Others, there is no longing for them or anything. But I may have wondered what it would have been like to end up with person A or B. But then you have to remind yourself that those relationships were a point in time and would still have various stressors in those relationships as time progressed too. You won't be a 23 yo grad student, with no responsibilities to kids, jobs, etc. forever (and like you were at that point in time).

[Anonymous]

Yes. But mostly one and largely because we’ve both coincidentally moved across the country twice and each time crossed paths - ran into him for the first time as a parent at our little private school in one city then the only decent house in my price range near work in the other city is just a few miles from his. Small world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a girlfriend in college who was not a looker. I liked her but was embarrassed to be seen with her. One time she knocked on my dorm room door and I wasn’t there but a bunch of my guy friends were. They answered and said I wasn’t there. They shut the door and she started leaving me a note on the outside of the my door. They thought she had left and starting talking about her. She heard one of them say “[She] is a nice girl but is so f_cking ugly.” It devastated her. She told me it was said and the guy who said it later admitted that he said it and felt TERRIBLE about it. This was more than 40 years ago.

She ended up marrying a guy who was literally worth hundreds of millions of dollars. They were together for 30 years and had four kids. He died of cancer in his 50s.

Yea, I think about her.

Oh, I feel so bad for her! Glad she was happily married but very sad to lose your husband in his 50s.

I don't care how much money someone has. This woman has probably never forgotten what that person said about her.

You may be surprised. The shadow of death has a way of cleansing these irritations from your memory.
NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mostly dated people I met at work so our professional circles occasionally overlap. A couple of them are also the kind of minor policy people who occasionally end up in the news. One of them was on CNN a couple of weeks ago and my husband and I watched him and had a laugh. Before I met my macho husband the guys I dated were like dweebs and policy wonks so usually that’s what we laugh about. Dudes with no muscle tone and soft hands. Blech!!

Reread it and try to understand if this reflects more on you or on people you dated?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I broke up with my post college BF because he seemed to lack ambition but he was very sweet, handsome and just a nice guy but I was on a path! Well, I was wrong as he’s been very successful running very large, well known companies and apparently he’s been happily married for a very long time. My career peaked early, I married and divorced and now I’m remarried and reasonably happy living a MC life. I have followed him on LinkedIn for many years and I doubt if he thinks about me.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes but I only had a few boyfriends before my husband and none of them rocked my world. Nice guys but I was never really in love with any of them. I think about them once in awhile when something triggers a memory but I certainly don’t fantasize about them.

[Anonymous]

I only think about them when something triggers a memory of an annoying comment or behavior of theirs. Then I feel thankful I married DH. Least annoying man ever!