If you're 55+, do you ever think of people you dated in college and your 20s?

[Anonymous]

54. Yes, all the time because they are part of the road not taken and I'm a person who, even after making a decision, continues to wonder if I made the right decision. Last night I dreamed about the guy I wanted to marry but didn't because we were too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:54. Yes, all the time because they are part of the road not taken and I'm a person who, even after making a decision, continues to wonder if I made the right decision. Last night I dreamed about the guy I wanted to marry but didn't because we were too young.

Look up the concept of "ghost ships" by Cheryl Strayed. It will help you get past this and live in the present.

[Anonymous]

All the time because I married him. Met at college at age 18.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, there’s a guy I dated in grad school that I think about frequently. I remember our conversation vividly and imagine him being in my current life. I’ve had no contact with him since our parting, 32 years ago. I always wonder about what could have been…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, there’s a guy I dated in grad school that I think about frequently. I remember our conversation vividly and imagine him being in my current life. I’ve had no contact with him since our parting, 32 years ago. I always wonder about what could have been…

How did he wind up?

[Anonymous]

Often. One died of AIDS. One disappeared from the modern internet and turns out to have joined an ultra-conservative religious sect. One is internationally famous in his field.

[Anonymous]

I only had four big relationships before my wife - two subsequently discovered they were gay, one disappeared from our circle of friends and her family and we think she may have died and one lives a couple states away and is living a lush life.

[Anonymous]

I’m divorced and my exes in their age 17-25 forms are the starting lineup in my spank bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mostly dated people I met at work so our professional circles occasionally overlap. A couple of them are also the kind of minor policy people who occasionally end up in the news. One of them was on CNN a couple of weeks ago and my husband and I watched him and had a laugh. Before I met my macho husband the guys I dated were like dweebs and policy wonks so usually that’s what we laugh about. Dudes with no muscle tone and soft hands. Blech!!

You are an awful person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only had four big relationships before my wife - two subsequently discovered they were gay, one disappeared from our circle of friends and her family and we think she may have died and one lives a couple states away and is living a lush life.

I also had four:

#1 - successful career, two kids, husband seems like a nice guy
#2 - very tomboyish, divorced, would not be surprised if she discovered she was gay
#3 - highly successful, divorced, no kids, has battled cancer multiple times. Incredible drive and perseverance.
#4 - wonderful person, separated, two daughters who adore her.

I have no idea if any of them have thought about me in years.

[Anonymous]

I do. Mostly the thought is "bullet dodged," but yeah, I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do. Mostly the thought is "bullet dodged," but yeah, I do.

I'm FB friends with the guy I was seeing a few years before I met my husband. He's really nice (still!), happily married, has kids, and I am so glad I am not married to him because his life includes living somewhere I'd never want to live and spending a lot of time and money on a hobby I'd hate. But his wife is super supportive of it.

[Anonymous]

Rarely. But one ex often looks at my linked in.

[Anonymous]

Not fondly. At all.

[Anonymous]

I look people up, out of curiosity and since I am not on Facebook. When I see old bf’s now, I am SO glad I don’t stay with them! Yuck!