Probably an old subject. DH asks to send nudes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

I would send nudes to my DH but he has never asked and would never dare. Not all men are the same.

Granted, not all men are the same but your DH is probably still in the second category.

I wish he would, honestly. He has a number of sexual hangups that are a bummer (no pun intended, though now that it’s here…).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, how many bodies are really photo worthy? Maybe when I was 30 and before kids but after three 9+lb babies and at age 48 I don’t think my husband wants pictures even though he still enjoys being with me when the lights are low.

As a 40-year-old guy, I can tell you that you’re very very very wrong.

Most men actually like the non model bods. The model bods are just what are typically “presented” to them.
Look at the number of subbed, dedicated this in the amount of action that they get. Mombods, natural milfs, hangers, nofans, gonewild over30/40, natural boobs etc etc.

Pick any hang up you have about your body and there is a Reddit that will erase any preconceived notion you have.

Most men look at other stuff because their wives hide their body or have hangs that match their husband’s views.

I'm not surprised by "hangers" and "natural milfs" when a lot of women with otherwise great bodies, get these ridiculous, fake implants that are way too big for their frames. And I'm not even talking about the freakishly large ones, I'm talking someone who is normally an A-cup, getting those hard, bocce ball-looking implants with a huge gap in-between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, how many bodies are really photo worthy? Maybe when I was 30 and before kids but after three 9+lb babies and at age 48 I don’t think my husband wants pictures even though he still enjoys being with me when the lights are low.

As a 40-year-old guy, I can tell you that you’re very very very wrong.

Most men actually like the non model bods. The model bods are just what are typically “presented” to them.
Look at the number of subbed, dedicated this in the amount of action that they get. Mombods, natural milfs, hangers, nofans, gonewild over30/40, natural boobs etc etc.

Pick any hang up you have about your body and there is a Reddit that will erase any preconceived notion you have.

Most men look at other stuff because their wives hide their body or have hangs that match their husband’s views.

I'm not surprised by "hangers" and "natural milfs" when a lot of women with otherwise great bodies, get these ridiculous, fake implants that are way too big for their frames. And I'm not even talking about the freakishly large ones, I'm talking someone who is normally an A-cup, getting those hard, bocce ball-looking implants with a huge gap in-between.

Don’t judge. Plenty of guys like the freakishly large/bolted on looks.

[Anonymous]

Married 38 years and my dh just asked for nudes, I look “good for my age” so I’m not appalled by the idea just a bit bewildered, not sure how one gets good shots but I’ll send a few that aren’t terrible. We are way worse critics than our husbands.

[Anonymous]

I asked multiple times. Eventually DW sent nice photos and it was a game changer. Reconnected etc..

[Anonymous]

These two seem a perfect miserable match for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked multiple times. Eventually DW sent nice photos and it was a game changer. Reconnected etc..

Uh, you needed nude pics of her, when you had her nude in person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I know every woman in DCUM looks like a swimsuit model naked, but for the rest of us ladies, I can’t imagine my DH liking this at all.

I definitely wouldn’t send pics if I didn’t want to - and I wouldn’t feel guilty over it.

I bet your DH enjoys how you look, with or without the swimsuit. It is more about sharing and less about being a swimsuit model since most men making such a request are not models themselves.

Any request one spouse makes to another should be considered. Women who dismiss a request for photos out of hand send a signal that it is okay to do so and are then surprised when their husbands do the same. No reason to feel guilty, but is also no reason to become upset when your partner denies a request you make because he is not into it.

I got divorced about six years ago and have traded (and not traded) pictures with women I dated. The best reason I have heard for a woman not sharing photos is that she has daughters living with her, and she needs to set the example of not sharing photos for them.

I can't even unpack all the WTF in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be kind of insulted if my DH of 12 years asked me for nudes. 12 years and he has no mental pictures of me or our great sex moments stored in his mental spank bank? Wow. Our sex life hasn't been at all memorable for him.

ding ding dig ding ding

If he can't fantasize about his wife he's a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

Ignore this narrow-minded self-centered man.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad I don't have to ask. She just sends them to me randomly and especially if we are apart. Lighten up lady. He loves you, loves your body, and wants to think sexy thoughts about you when he's away and missing you. Don't let him dictate the type of pics if you like. Tease him a little with some cleavage, sexy bra or panties, or just your lips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH that if he wants nudes he has to subscribe to your OF like everyone else.

Best response. The thread can close now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH that if he wants nudes he has to subscribe to your OF like everyone else.

He's already on the ultra platinum direct sugar plan. Why pay a cut to OF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

I'm a non-nude sending DW and this makes me a little sad. Are you saying maybe the lack of nude sharing is a feature of a little more of a formal or vanilla sexual relationship, thus the feeling of a wall?

I guess I'm asking to compare with my marriage. I'd never be worried that DH would use nudes for leverage, but I would be worried my kids would find them. But even taking all the leaking concerns off the table I'm not sure I could do it. I know DH watches porn and I'm just way too insecure (and at this point old) to be any sort of a pornography content creator. I know he likes visuals because he always wants some sort of light on when we're together, and that's about all I can give on that front.

Sorry for the hijack.

You're fine. Don't less that PP creep play the pathetic man pity card on you. Your husband is attracted to you and you enjoy each other. You're winning in that department.

[Anonymous]

Why does he need new nudes every time one of you travels?

I gave my DH two or three boudoir style selfies without my eyes (in case the photos were leaked somehow because the internet is forever) years ago and when I gave them to him, I told him to be happy with this on his business travel and if he cheated once, I’m filing for divorce.

He said thanks and hasn’t cheated or said a word about it since. I guarantee he uses them on his business travel. I can tell. It’s subtle but I notice from what he does when he gets home and I don’t snoop.