Probably an old subject. DH asks to send nudes.

[Anonymous]

I'd be kind of insulted if my DH of 12 years asked me for nudes. 12 years and he has no mental pictures of me or our great sex moments stored in his mental spank bank? Wow. Our sex life hasn't been at all memorable for him.

[Anonymous]

The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I send my DH nudes because after 20 yrs he is still interested in them. I don’t miss him when he is away either, but I never tell him that because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Just do it and then enjoy your free time if you want a happy marriage.

Honestly, if you’re at all comfortable sending the photos this seems like the path of least resistance. But I agree with others that the OP wrapped a bunch of stuff into the op that doesn’t seem connected to sending nudes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

I'm a non-nude sending DW and this makes me a little sad. Are you saying maybe the lack of nude sharing is a feature of a little more of a formal or vanilla sexual relationship, thus the feeling of a wall?

I guess I'm asking to compare with my marriage. I'd never be worried that DH would use nudes for leverage, but I would be worried my kids would find them. But even taking all the leaking concerns off the table I'm not sure I could do it. I know DH watches porn and I'm just way too insecure (and at this point old) to be any sort of a pornography content creator. I know he likes visuals because he always wants some sort of light on when we're together, and that's about all I can give on that front.

Sorry for the hijack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

I would send nudes to my DH but he has never asked and would never dare. Not all men are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

Would you marry a porn star?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s unclear if you actually like your husband at all

It's pretty clear that she doesn't. She wants to forget about him.

[Anonymous]

Tell your DH that if he wants nudes he has to subscribe to your OF like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I was at my 30th HS reunion last Fall and one guy started sharing nudes AND video of his very recent ex wife. We were all gobsmacked until..... another dude whipped out his phone and was like CHECK THIS OUT!!! and it was a video of his wife riding him.

People are bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds controlling. Push back.

I think he probably misses you while he’s gone. It sounds like you don’t like him much..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are pigs. Divorce him immediately

You’re a prude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

He’s gay…

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't like ice cream. He'd never ask for ice cream.

My husband has never had ice cream.

One day I sent him some ice cream.

Turns out, he loves ice cream.

C'mon ladies, send DH one pic. Just one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

He’s gay…

He can be as gay as he wants as long as he has sex with me every day. 😋