Probably an old subject. DH asks to send nudes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

He’s gay…

He can be as gay as he wants as long as he has sex with me every day. 😋

Uh huh. Did you meet him at Niagara Falls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

He’s gay…

He can be as gay as he wants as long as he has sex with me every day. 😋

Uh huh. Did you meet him at Niagara Falls?

Um. I don’t get the reference? Is it that hard to believe that there is a straight man out there who is worried about the risk of hacking, etc.? Specifically, DH told me he “doesn’t want my wife’s pictures to end up on a porn website one day.” I think it’s sort of adorable that DH thinks my pictures are so appealing that someone would post them on a porn website considering the massive amounts of porn out there.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, how many bodies are really photo worthy? Maybe when I was 30 and before kids but after three 9+lb babies and at age 48 I don’t think my husband wants pictures even though he still enjoys being with me when the lights are low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, how many bodies are really photo worthy? Maybe when I was 30 and before kids but after three 9+lb babies and at age 48 I don’t think my husband wants pictures even though he still enjoys being with me when the lights are low.

+1. I know every woman in DCUM looks like a swimsuit model naked, but for the rest of us ladies, I can’t imagine my DH liking this at all.

I definitely wouldn’t send pics if I didn’t want to - and I wouldn’t feel guilty over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

No. My husband does not want any sexy pictures of any kind. He is worried about hacking. He also does not like sexting. I’d be happy to do either and have offered.

He’s gay…

He can be as gay as he wants as long as he has sex with me every day. 😋

Strap it on!

[Anonymous]

+1. I know every woman in DCUM looks like a swimsuit model naked, but for the rest of us ladies, I can’t imagine my DH liking this at all.

I definitely wouldn’t send pics if I didn’t want to - and I wouldn’t feel guilty over it.

I bet your DH enjoys how you look, with or without the swimsuit. It is more about sharing and less about being a swimsuit model since most men making such a request are not models themselves.

Any request one spouse makes to another should be considered. Women who dismiss a request for photos out of hand send a signal that it is okay to do so and are then surprised when their husbands do the same. No reason to feel guilty, but is also no reason to become upset when your partner denies a request you make because he is not into it.

I got divorced about six years ago and have traded (and not traded) pictures with women I dated. The best reason I have heard for a woman not sharing photos is that she has daughters living with her, and she needs to set the example of not sharing photos for them.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge gulf between sending naked pictures and ignoring each other for 2 weeks! I have never sent nudes and my DH has never asked. I don’t think I would want to even if he did. I’m old and overweight and there’s just no need for naked pictures of me to be out in the world. But I don’t look forward to DH’s infrequent work trips to give me a break from him! You’re together 99% of the time, but you want to pretend he doesn’t exist while he’s gone? I am confused about what you mean about this break. Do you want to sleep with other people? Ignore his calls? How about you say no to the nudes but otherwise act like a normal spouse while your DH is out of town.

It sounds like you need to plan some weekends away for yourself if you’re so desperate for alone time!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I know every woman in DCUM looks like a swimsuit model naked, but for the rest of us ladies, I can’t imagine my DH liking this at all.

I definitely wouldn’t send pics if I didn’t want to - and I wouldn’t feel guilty over it.

I bet your DH enjoys how you look, with or without the swimsuit. It is more about sharing and less about being a swimsuit model since most men making such a request are not models themselves.

Any request one spouse makes to another should be considered. Women who dismiss a request for photos out of hand send a signal that it is okay to do so and are then surprised when their husbands do the same. No reason to feel guilty, but is also no reason to become upset when your partner denies a request you make because he is not into it.

I got divorced about six years ago and have traded (and not traded) pictures with women I dated. The best reason I have heard for a woman not sharing photos is that she has daughters living with her, and she needs to set the example of not sharing photos for them.

What do you mean by this? Like, I say no to nudes and he says no to unloading the dishwasher? Same:same?

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by this? Like, I say no to nudes and he says no to unloading the dishwasher? Same:same?

Do you find his unloading the dishwasher stimulating? Part of foreplay? Does thinking about him unloading the dishwasher turn you on when you see him at night? Then, yes. It is same/same. If not, please pick a better example of something you want him to do that you enjoy as part of your love life.

However, please do not trot out that tired old line "Him helping around the house puts me in the mood."

Most of us like clean dishes, and keeping the house clean and safe is everyone's duty.

However, relationships are both parties' responsibility, a fact you should consider when he makes a request. And he should do the same for you (e.g., asking him to consider ____ as a part of foreplay).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he had to ask you is already embarrassing on his side and a turn-off for you. No winners in this situation.

There are two types of straight women in the world: those who send nudes and those who don’t. Also two types of men: those who get nudes from their wives and men who wished they had the type of marriage where the wife feels comfortable sending them nudes.

My DW also doesn’t send nudes. I respect her decision, but also know that it’s not within her personality to send them. I know better than to ask, as it would be a huge source of anxiety for her. She would be so nervous about how she looked, if I did something careless with the photos, if they would ever be used for leverage against her…she would spiral.

But I won’t lie - it feels like there is a wall between us. I feel like husbands and wives who swap nudes probably have a more intimate, easy going, trusting, and balanced relationship. You have to be comfortable with uncertainty and/or extremely trusting of your spouse. Lots of people don’t have either of those, even when married.

I would send nudes to my DH but he has never asked and would never dare. Not all men are the same.

Granted, not all men are the same but your DH is probably still in the second category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I know every woman in DCUM looks like a swimsuit model naked, but for the rest of us ladies, I can’t imagine my DH liking this at all.

I definitely wouldn’t send pics if I didn’t want to - and I wouldn’t feel guilty over it.

I bet your DH enjoys how you look, with or without the swimsuit. It is more about sharing and less about being a swimsuit model since most men making such a request are not models themselves.

Any request one spouse makes to another should be considered. Women who dismiss a request for photos out of hand send a signal that it is okay to do so and are then surprised when their husbands do the same. No reason to feel guilty, but is also no reason to become upset when your partner denies a request you make because he is not into it.

I got divorced about six years ago and have traded (and not traded) pictures with women I dated. The best reason I have heard for a woman not sharing photos is that she has daughters living with her, and she needs to set the example of not sharing photos for them.

What do you mean by this? Like, I say no to nudes and he says no to unloading the dishwasher? Same:same?

Man here - I just finished unloading the dishwasher! And earlier this morning my wife said she wouldn’t be home until after 7 because they were filming today. I asked “nudes?” She said “Not in your dreams!” So I guess her answer would be no even given I unloaded the DW unasked.

[Anonymous]

To the OP Your DH is a pig like most men You should divorce him while you still have some semblance of dignity.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it....digitally anyway. You could get a Polaroid camera and take some pictures from the neck down. Can't trust anything online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP Your DH is a pig like most men You should divorce him while you still have some semblance of dignity.

Oink oink! 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, how many bodies are really photo worthy? Maybe when I was 30 and before kids but after three 9+lb babies and at age 48 I don’t think my husband wants pictures even though he still enjoys being with me when the lights are low.

As a 40-year-old guy, I can tell you that you’re very very very wrong.

Most men actually like the non model bods. The model bods are just what are typically “presented” to them.
Look at the number of subbed, dedicated this in the amount of action that they get. Mombods, natural milfs, hangers, nofans, gonewild over30/40, natural boobs etc etc.

Pick any hang up you have about your body and there is a Reddit that will erase any preconceived notion you have.

Most men look at other stuff because their wives hide their body or have hangs that match their husband’s views.