Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

Ouch.
Would love to adopt. Husband not willin though.

[Anonymous]

Adoption cut off is 45 yo. So you are fine.

[Anonymous]

Not true. Adoption cut-off is different everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Definitely too old. I really wish this trend of 40+ Moms would go away.

[Anonymous]

There are some awful people on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely too old. I really wish this trend of 40+ Moms would go away.

Why? (honest question... not trying to be snarky)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

How exactly is it selfish? It's no more selfish to want a baby at 40 then it is at 30. And you thinking your older dad was gross sounds like a personal issue. Not all of us have had our lives laid out perfectly like yourself. Sometimes life doesn't happen on the schedule you planned. And to say that you hands down won't be around for your grandkids is stupid. My family members live into their 90's on average. That means if my child has a child at 30 my grandchild would be 20 when I died at 90. I think that's a lot of time to spend with grandchildren (if all goes well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely too old. I really wish this trend of 40+ Moms would go away.

Right because it's a "trend". It's the "hip" thing to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

How exactly is it selfish? It's no more selfish to want a baby at 40 then it is at 30. And you thinking your older dad was gross sounds like a personal issue. Not all of us have had our lives laid out perfectly like yourself. Sometimes life doesn't happen on the schedule you planned. And to say that you hands down won't be around for your grandkids is stupid. My family members live into their 90's on average. That means if my child has a child at 30 my grandchild would be 20 when I died at 90. I think that's a lot of time to spend with grandchildren (if all goes well).

Exactly. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I haven't ruled out having another at 40-41. Not too old at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adoption cut off is 45 yo. So you are fine.

No, it's not. I adopted a baby when I was over 45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some awful people on this thread.

What I wouldn't give to get a glimpse of what these people are like IRL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some awful people on this thread.

What I wouldn't give to get a glimpse of what these people are like IRL!

Some sound young and have no idea how their life will turn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid’s perspective. Mom was 40 and Dad was 45 when I was born.

Things I remember...

I knew/realized they were older, especially in the town where I grew up where older parents were quite uncommon. But age, in and of itself, did not seem to matter regarding day-to-day parenting.

My mom and dad had a terrible marriage; mom was deeply depressed and unhappy. However, I don't think their age impacted that based on reports from my much older siblings.

Had a wonderful relationship with my dad. I did always worry that he was "older," and that he would die “too soon.” (I was a worrier as a kid and still am.) Got really pissed a few times when I was young and people thought he was my grandpa. But in the grand scheme of parental relationships, I don't think these things were a big deal.

My dad died when I was 28. It was crushing and awful. I still miss him 12 years later. I wish he met my kids. But I wouldn't change who my dad was for anyone, and I certainly don't begrudge that he had me later in life. I'm so, so, so thankful for the 28 years I had with him.

At the end of the day if you love your kids while you are here, and give them the support and structure they need, I honestly don’t think 25 v. 35 v. 45 matters.

Ever occur to you that your mom was deeply depressed and unhappy because she had her kids so late in life and at that time cut off from her friends and relatives whose kids were grown and out of the nest. Do you think she wanted to be at an Elementary school PTA meeting when she was 50 and your dad 55?
Ever think your dear dad might have worked himself to death supporting you? Still with kids in high school at 65? Still paying for college in his late 60s? Sounds restful to me. No wonder he finally rested at age 73. Sounds like he just barely got you through college, assuming you did go to college. He had 5 years not supporting you! Dear old Dad and depressed old Mom!
No, age doesn't make a difference when all you think about is yourself.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think so.