Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

Anonymous
I would love to have a second but I just feel that 41 is too old. Maybe not now but I bet I'll really feel it in my mid-50s. To those who have the life experience, what are your thoughts?
Anonymous
I should add that if we tried now and couldn't conceive naturally I'd be sad but not devastated. For me it would just be proof that I'm too old, so wouldn't do ART.
Anonymous
No, 41 is not too old. I had my last at 45... that is OLD! Believe it or not, those few years make a difference.
Anonymous
I had #2 at 41. I don't want another, but don't regret having #2. And I don't feel like a super old mom in this area, either. I haven't hit mid 50's yet, but it seems like the phase of a child's life when you need the most energy is birth through preschool.
Anonymous
It would be too old for me, based on how I feel now at 36 and with my family's history of chronic illness (which I am starting to develop). If you come from a long line of people who are hiking Mt. Everest at age 70, go for it. I come from people who get knee replacements in their 40s and Alzheimer's in their early 60s.
Anonymous
41 is pushing it - but ok.
42+ is too old.
Anonymous
Dear OP, I had my first baby six weeks before my 43rd bday. He's now two. His brother came two and half months before my 45th bday. Both conceived naturally. The earlier you try, the better. Obviously, the risks are greater with so-called "geriatric pregnancies", but you're definitely not too old. Our children are thriving, but we are sometimes a bit tired. The upside is that I know I'm a much more patient mother than I would have been ten or twenty years ago. Plus, I was able to do everything I wanted to do, travel the world, have an interesting job etc, so I don't have that sense of regret younger moms sometimes get about being saddled with kids. I even have friends who've even done IVF at 46. It's not easy, the risks are higher, but it's definitely manageable. I'm grateful every day for my kids even though it may mean I'll be using a walker at their college graduation.
Anonymous
Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.


So what?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.


So what?


Ditto. My dad had already retired by the time I graduated college. Big whoop. (He did retire fairly young, 55, but still).
Anonymous
I hope it isn't too old because I'm about to have my 3rd at age 41 In all seriousness, this has been my easiest pregnancy of the 3. My most difficult was the first one at age 32, so you never know how that is going to go. As for the next 20 years- who knows? I'm considerably healthier and in better shape than anyone in my family and they all live into their 70's and 80's with chronic (lifestyle induced) illness. I have a few friends who had their youngest at 41/42 and I'm sure I'll pick up more friends along the way who are my age right now having a baby. That is one of the nice things about living around here, I suppose. Back home in my small town I would be a grandmother by now!
Anonymous
I think it is. Parenting does not end at age 5. When you are in your late 50s and your child is still in ES or MS, and you are in your 60s in HS and saving for college and retirement at the same time, it is more difficult than the toddler years. Of course if you have perfect health and money is no object, that does make it easier. But in that lifestyle, your friends will be planning elaborate getaways while you are babysitting. BTDT.
Anonymous
To all those folks who say, "my parents lived into their 80s" How many of them were caring for young children in their late 50s? Most were taking it pretty easy at that point, with the children long ago out of the home.
Anonymous
PP^^ Young teenagers, late 50s.
Anonymous
I'm 40 and it would be for me. My sister had her second at 40 and she is happy as a clam.
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