Vent from a very pregnant lady on the Metro

[Anonymous]

I posted something similar when I was pregnant in 2005. DC people are so rude.

[Anonymous]

Very similar experience when I was hugely pregnant with twins in 2008. The only people ever to offer seats were Black and Latino men and Black women. White men were the absolute worst and actually refused at times to give up their seats when I asked (I’m also white so it was assh0lery not racism).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 7 months pregnant and took the metro yesterday during rush hour to downtown dc. I work from home, so I'm not usually on the metro but I am quite frustrated and annoyed with the other passengers on my ride.

Given that it was rush hour, the car was crowded and there were "no" seats to be had. I placed the no in quotes because technically there were empty seats but people placed their shopping bags/purses next to them or were using an entire seat as a chaise lounge with their feet stretched out to the end, leaving no room. So I had to stand very visibly pregnant without a single person moving their legs or bags to make room. I was especially annoyed with the several people closer to me towards the front of the car who I made eye contact with and never moved their bags or legs, including someone who looked to be an able-bodied adult male.

Is chivalry or polite gestures this dead? I'm not looking for over-the-top accommodations, but I assumed it would be the polite thing to move your things or feet and make room for a pregnant lady.

I recognize that I could have asked passengers to move their bags or legs, but I take placing bags on seats - and especially using a seats as your leg rest - to be hostile acts and I hate confrontation. I just thought it was polite and standard practice to make all seats available in any situation, but ESPECIALLY when a rider is very obviously pregnant.

Sorry for the rant (blame it on the pregnancy hormones) - I was just very disappointed with the lack of manners displayed on that ride. Has anyone else experienced this or do passengers usually make room for pregnant ladies?

I offered my seat to a pregnant woman, she got really angry because she turned out to be just fat, so i stopped doing it

[Anonymous]

Have you seen the cars of the future even fewer seats and they are mostly in a long row on he edges. I am picturing a few people lying down and thats it. I have been a loyal metro rider for decades but if I have to stand for 30 minutes hanging on..I think I will be driving,

[Anonymous]

FFS: ask them to move. I kicked out an anti abortion kid who wouldn't give a seat to me when I was 9mo. along. I looked her in the eye and said, get out. She did. I also asked various metro riders too but was nice to them. Nobody objected ever.

[Anonymous]

I rode metro through two pregnancies and had no problem whatsoever asking to be let in to get to an empty seat whether or not a bag was sitting on it.

Once when I was 9 months I was really annoyed when a young guy didn’t offer me a seat on a packed train that whenever the train slowed I leaned towards him with my big belly inches from his face. He was uncomfortable but not enough to actually move.

I occasionally would have someone get out of their seat to offer me one and it was almost always an older woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 7 months pregnant and took the metro yesterday during rush hour to downtown dc. I work from home, so I'm not usually on the metro but I am quite frustrated and annoyed with the other passengers on my ride.

Given that it was rush hour, the car was crowded and there were "no" seats to be had. I placed the no in quotes because technically there were empty seats but people placed their shopping bags/purses next to them or were using an entire seat as a chaise lounge with their feet stretched out to the end, leaving no room. So I had to stand very visibly pregnant without a single person moving their legs or bags to make room. I was especially annoyed with the several people closer to me towards the front of the car who I made eye contact with and never moved their bags or legs, including someone who looked to be an able-bodied adult male.

Is chivalry or polite gestures this dead? I'm not looking for over-the-top accommodations, but I assumed it would be the polite thing to move your things or feet and make room for a pregnant lady.

I recognize that I could have asked passengers to move their bags or legs, but I take placing bags on seats - and especially using a seats as your leg rest - to be hostile acts and I hate confrontation. I just thought it was polite and standard practice to make all seats available in any situation, but ESPECIALLY when a rider is very obviously pregnant.

Sorry for the rant (blame it on the pregnancy hormones) - I was just very disappointed with the lack of manners displayed on that ride. Has anyone else experienced this or do passengers usually make room for pregnant ladies?

You have a mouth and should have asked them to move their packages so you could sit. You have only yourself to blame. There arecsnsonsests for handicapped and pregnant women. Again, your fault for not asking to sit.
Lllp

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. I am obviously physically disabled (involving legs and a cane) and I can't tell you how many times I've gotten on a crowded train and no one has offered a seat even as I stumble around the moving train looking for one. If there is something like a bag on one I do ask to sit down. You just have to be assertive. Especially as people try not to look at other passengers and might be reading or staring at their phone and not see you.

Hope the next couple of months fly by for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very similar experience when I was hugely pregnant with twins in 2008. The only people ever to offer seats were Black and Latino men and Black women. White men were the absolute worst and actually refused at times to give up their seats when I asked (I’m also white so it was assh0lery not racism).

PP with the physical disability and I have to second this - if anyone gets up for me it's usually a person of color, no joke.

[Anonymous]

My DH offered his seat to a woman on the subway the woman snipped back that she didn't need his masculinist help. He has never offered since unless it is clearly someone elderly or seems to be struggling.

I have even offered my seat to people who have gotten offended.

Just this week an older guy offered to help me with something in Home Depot. (Like grandfather old.) I frankly was just confused what he was asking. And when I looked at him (confused) he took it as I was offended and quickly said, I should be asking you for help.

We are training manners out of people. Then there are the people who put their bags on seats and kids who put their feet on seats.

What can I say?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been pregnant 3 times and I noticed for my third that wearing a coat is enough to camouflage the bump. People didn’t notice. I was far along in the summertime for my others and was always offered seats.

[Anonymous]

It’s rude to place objects on seats when the train is crowded, but next time just ask. I don’t place my bags on seats, but I’m also not gonna openly assume a woman is pregnant unless I see a baby crowning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 7 months pregnant and took the metro yesterday during rush hour to downtown dc. I work from home, so I'm not usually on the metro but I am quite frustrated and annoyed with the other passengers on my ride.

Given that it was rush hour, the car was crowded and there were "no" seats to be had. I placed the no in quotes because technically there were empty seats but people placed their shopping bags/purses next to them or were using an entire seat as a chaise lounge with their feet stretched out to the end, leaving no room. So I had to stand very visibly pregnant without a single person moving their legs or bags to make room. I was especially annoyed with the several people closer to me towards the front of the car who I made eye contact with and never moved their bags or legs, including someone who looked to be an able-bodied adult male.

Is chivalry or polite gestures this dead? I'm not looking for over-the-top accommodations, but I assumed it would be the polite thing to move your things or feet and make room for a pregnant lady.

I recognize that I could have asked passengers to move their bags or legs, but I take placing bags on seats - and especially using a seats as your leg rest - to be hostile acts and I hate confrontation. I just thought it was polite and standard practice to make all seats available in any situation, but ESPECIALLY when a rider is very obviously pregnant.

Sorry for the rant (blame it on the pregnancy hormones) - I was just very disappointed with the lack of manners displayed on that ride. Has anyone else experienced this or do passengers usually make room for pregnant ladies?

I offered my seat to a pregnant woman, she got really angry because she turned out to be just fat, so i stopped doing it

So next time, if the train is crowded, and you arent disabled or ill, just get up and make the seat available. You dont have to announce to any one person that the seat is for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FFS: ask them to move. I kicked out an anti abortion kid who wouldn't give a seat to me when I was 9mo. along. I looked her in the eye and said, get out. She did. I also asked various metro riders too but was nice to them. Nobody objected ever.

Claps you are something

[Anonymous]

Put on your big girl maternity panties and ask for a seat. Nobody is going to say no to a visibly pregnant woman.